Becca.
The mont that Neal attempted to possess my body, it took everything in not to give in to that desire. I had to be strong, and I had to say no. Not only had I just had a baby not too long ago, and was I still healing, but I also wasn’t interested in being sated with sex so that he didn’t have to explain what was going on.
I wanted answers, and Neal was going to have to learn boundaries.
Placing my hands on his chest, I pushed him away from , his lips popping as they left mine, a look of confusion on his face as he stared down into my eyes.
Yes, I felt absolutely ridiculous doing this, because God knows how much I would have loved to have him cherish my body right now, but it just wasn’t possible.
I had to be the logical thinker and not let him side-track .
“I can’t have you doing this just because you know that I want to be taken by you. It does not give you the right to use sex as a thod to make forget about what I wanted to know.” I quickly exclaid, trying to make him understand that he couldn’t just do whatever he wanted to do.
However, a scoff left his lips as he began to laugh, shaking his head as he ran his hand through his hair and stared at with disbelief. “You’re being serious right now? You really are going to stop this between us because you want to get clarity on sothing that’s none of your business?”
When he said it like that, he made it seem absolutely ridiculous for to be asking questions about Lester Johnson. No matter the situation, though, I couldn’t divert this attention back to . What he was doing right now was a little narcissistic, as he gaslighted into feeling guilty about asking sothing that he was hiding from on purpose.
I wasn’t quite sure why he was acting like this.
When I t him months ago, and we spent ti together, and then I moved in with him in New York, he was never like this. He was normal; he was nice. He’d wanted to do things for . He’d wanted to do things with , and I really had seen a future with us.
But now, the way he was acting made wonder if it was all a lie to begin with.
Nothing I knew about him was true.
“You know what? I think I should just go to bed. This right here between us... this can’t happen again.” I was done being played with. I was done being toyed over everything that was going on; whether it was Jas or Neal, it was all bullshit.
At the end of the day, couldn’t I be with a man who actually f*cking wanted to be with because of ? Was it seriously so hard to ask for one of these f*cking idiots to have been able to get their shit together and be a normal person?
The thought broke my heart as I quickly rembered that Jas was now dead and, therefore, would never be able to redeem himself for what he had done. I was left with Neal, and though I had fallen for Neal at one point in ti, the tides had turned, and those feelings no longer lingered within the depths of my heart.
He was a good man, and I believed that wholeheartedly, but he’d made bad decisions, and currently, the way he was acting was pushing further and further away.
Walking down the hallway towards my room, I quickly opened the door and entered, shutting it behind and turning the lock.
The last thing I wanted was for Neal to co in here, and as I made my way across the room, picking up my phone, I looked down to see a text ssage from my father that they had boarded their final flight and would be here in the morning.
I couldn’t wait to see him, honestly, to be able to have him tell everything was gonna be okay. That he was here and that everything was going to be wonderful.
I suppose part of felt like a little girl on Christmas morning, believing in Santa still. Wishing that I could make ti move quickly so that I could see what he left . That was how I felt anticipating the arrival of my dad. I was a daddy’s girl at heart and always would be.
With the arrival of my father and all of his stuff currently being shipped over to New Zealand by boat, I had taken it upon myself to go and purchase them a small house that located literally right next door to my property.
I wanted them to be able to have their own private ho to enjoy themselves, but at the sa ti, I wanted to do sothing nice for my father.
Not only had I forcibly paid for their tickets and their entire move over to New Zealand, to which they said they would simply stay with and then purchase their own ho, but I had gone against my father’s wishes and actually purchased them a ho.
Whether they wanted to have it or not, it would still be there waiting for them.
It wasn’t like I was short on cash anymore, and though I had invested quite a bit of it in various different companies, and also into the stock market, I was still left with a large amount.
It was my way of building my children’s future. Both of the children would be taken care of for the rest of their lives, never wanting for anything, never falling into bad tis.
Everything that I was doing was what Jas should have done for Tally, building a positive future, building a harmonious ho, one that was full of safety and love and one that they would be protected in.
“Becca?” Allegra’s voice called out softly from the other side of my bedroom door. If she was here to try and convince to forgive all, she was really going to be in for a rude awakening.
Hesitating for a mont, I finally stood from where I’d been sitting on the bed and made my way toward the bedroom door. The last thing I wanted to do was have a conversation with her right now, but I wasn’t known for being a typically rude person.
Opening the bedroom door, I stared at her with a completely asinine gaze, my arms crossed over my chest, irritation in my eyes. If she didn’t get my current mood by looking at , she was surely going to get it within my comnts.
“What?” I said flatly, watching as she cocked a brow with a small grin on the corner of her lips as if she thought my attitude was funny.
“Don’t act like this. It is not becoming of you, and you are not the kind of girl that usually has this kind of attitude and persona.”
Scoffing at her comnt about the kind of person I was, I laughed. She had no f*cking clue who I was. Even though she knew really well, she didn’t honestly actually know . “That’s what you think, and obviously, you don’t know very well.”
“What are you talking about? We’ve been friends forever. Of course, I do.”
“We have been friends for a year. I highly doubt that kind of justifies forever,” I snapped back, watching as she flinched under my comnt.
Was I being a bitch? Yes, but look at the way her and Neal were acting. They were in my house under my roof. And yes, they had been there for since day one. But what was with all of the f*cking secrets and lies?
They could have just told the truth...
Instead, though, it was all secrets and lies and hushed whispers, and why are you going in my room? And why are you looking through my stuff and then trying to change my view on the situation by coaxing to have sex?
Was her brother absolutely f*cking insane to think that any part of that was actually going to work? That I was going to cave in and let him have what he wanted?
“Becca, look Neal—”
Holding my hand up, I stopped her real quickly, her words dying before she could continue that sentence. “If you tell right now that Neal didn’t an to do it, I’m going to hit you. Because yes, your brother did. He was a complete f*cking asshole, and instead of talking to , he tried to use sex to change my mind on about asking the question. That’s f*cking bullshit, and I’m not down for that.”
Wide-eyed, a look of surprise filled her fase as she crossed her arms over her chest and nodded her head. “You’re right. It was an asshole move, and I didn’t realize that he had tried to change the subject by having sex. I apologize for that.”
“Allegra, you shouldn’t be apologizing. I’m not pissed at you, per se. I an, yeah, I’m annoyed that you wouldn’t tell what the f*ck is going on, but you’re not the one acting like a dick. Your brother is, so stop apologizing for him. It’s his f*cking problem.”
There was no argunt to be had. She knew that I was right.
“I know, but at tis I feel like my brother’s keeper, and I hate to see that you are fighting. You guys used to be so good together, and now lately, all you do is argue.” Her soft whispered words cald down a little bit.
She wasn’t wrong, though. All Neal and I did do lately was argue.
And I was sick of it.
It wasn’t my fault, though.... I an, it was, but it wasn’t. I had no idea what was going on with him, why his mood shifted the mont that I had the baby. I thought he had been excited to be part of that.
But instead, he just beca angry, and it was like he beca a new person.
“Allegra. I don’t like it either. Neal and I were good together, and it seems like ever since I had the baby, or better yet, ever since we moved to New Zealand... all he wants to do is hide shit and act weird and sneaky as if hiding shit is the best thing to do. I don’t understand it, and honestly, I want to try to fix it, but at the sa ti, it’s not my problem because we’re not together, and we never were.”
With a heavy sigh, she nodded her head once more. “I know.... If he tries to talk to you, at least give him a chance to explain.”
With a heavy sigh of disapproval, I nodded in agreent. It wasn’t like I had a choice. Well, I did. But at the sa ti, if I wanted an answer, I really didn’t have a choice. So I was going to have to make him believe I forgave him in order to get the answer I wanted.
As Allegra laughed, saying her goodbyes, I closed the door once more and climbed back into bed. There were a million and one things on my mind, but only one thing stood out.
The na Lester Johnson and why he was important to Neal.
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