Becca.
I hadn’t rembered falling asleep, but the light filtered through my open window, and as it did, my eyes fluttered open, giving way to another beautiful day. Stretching my arms over my head, my hand touched a warm body, and quickly looking to my left, I spotted Neals’ sleeping form resting beside .
I hadn’t even realized that he had co into my bed last night, but looking at him now, I saw him in a different light. He wasn’t the man I once knew, but instead, he was much stronger than I realized.
To be holding all of these secrets all these years and never having been able to talk to soone was sothing I would never be able to grasp.
How lonely that must have been for him.
Rolling to my side, I minded my baby bump and rested my head upon my hand as I reached over with my free hand brushing a strand of hair from his eyes. As quick as my touch had been, he grasped my wrist and slowly opened his eyes.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered in a rough voice as he brought my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles gently. “I’m sorry if being here startled you.”
“Don’t be silly.” I chuckled, leaning over to kiss his lips gently. “You’re always welco.”
“Are you sure?” His eyes cast down at my hand within his, and the worry I had seen the night before was more present than ever.
“Neal–” I whispered, raising my eyes to et his, “I’m sure. No matter what happened, that doesn’t define who you are now.”
“Thank you.”
Furrowing my brows, I gazed at him with confusion. “Why are you thanking ?”
“Because you are forgiving for sothing that I shouldn’t be.” Neal’s reasoning wasn’t what I expected, and I didn’t understand why he thought that what he did in his past should reflect on who he was now.
Neal was a good man who had simply made the wrong choices because of the circumstances he was born into and raised in..
“You’re worrying too much about things that aren’t important. What you did when you were younger, and the person you used to be, does not define who you are, and I wish you would stop thinking that you can’t be forgiven for sothing that happened way before you even t .”
Slowly sitting up upon the bed, I turned to him again with a soft sigh escaping . Sotis I wished that he could see himself the way that I saw him.
“You’re right, I shouldn’t let it affect ,” he calmly replied as he, too, sat up and then slid from the bed, making his way towards my bathroom. “Let’s put all this behind us. What do you want to do today?”
I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do. There was so much exploring and even shops to venture through, but most of all, I just wanted to spend the day with him to let him know that I did care, that I was there for him, and even though our situation was complicated, it didn’t have to change anything between us.
“Why don’t we venture into town? After we have breakfast, of course,” I replied as I finally got out of bed, taking the silk robe that was laid across the chair and wrapping it around my body. First, I wanted to check on the baby and make sure that Sara was good for the day.
I was hoping that she would get out of the house for once. The last two tis we had ventured out, she had decided to stay behind with the child, but the fresh air would do her good as well as the baby.
There was no telling exactly what she was up to this morning, but when I heard soft singing coming from the kitchen, I knew she was busy making breakfast. Shown off as I turned the corner from the hallway, her smiling face looked up at .
There were pancakes stacked on the counter, bacon, and fresh fruit. She was in a good mood this morning, from the looks of it. “This looks delicious. What made you decide to cook breakfast this morning?”
“Well, I know that yesterday was a little bit of a harder day, or at least I heard bits and pieces, so I figured cooking breakfast would help to soothe everybody this morning.”
Guilt instantly flooded as I rembered the argunt that Neal and I’d had, as well as the other conversations. I wasn’t exactly sure how much she had heard, but she didn’t seem to want to pry into personal information.
“I really do appreciate it,” I muttered softly as I passed by her and sat at the large table where the food was spread upon it.
Lifting a filled coffee cup to my lips, I watched as Sara brought over the rest of the food that had been on the counter to the table. “A little bit of everything here this morning, and I did wonder if you guys planned on going out today.”
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.” I chuckled, setting my cup back down as I watched from the corner of my eye. Neal ca down the hallway and beelined straight for . “I was actually hoping, Sara, that you and the baby would join us out today. You’ve been inside since we got here, and I want you to enjoy this trip as well. You’re not just working. You’re helping out with the child, and you need to enjoy the vacation.”
Sara’s eyes widened slightly as her lips parted, and she seed a bit hesitant to reply as if asking her to enjoy herself was sothing she hadn’t been expecting. I, of course, wasn’t used to how things were supposed to have been done with situations like this that involved nannies, but when it ca to , I was not like the others.
“You really want to go with you? I can keep the child here. It’s perfectly fine.”
Laughter escaped as I shook my head, watching as Neal took his place beside . “No, honestly, Neal and I would love for you and the baby to co out with us. Allegra is coming too. It’s going to be a wonderful outing. We’re going to go into town, to the market, have a look around, maybe do a little shopping.”
“Yes, Sara, you must co with us,” Neal added in. He, too, was eagerly eyeing up the food that was in front of us as I reached forward, grabbing a piece of bacon and popping it into my mouth.
The delicious taste of the freshly cooked at was the most amazing thing that I could have ever bared witness to this morning. It had been so long since I had had bacon that I, for a mont, had almost thought I had forgotten what it tasted like. And for so reason, the foods in this country just tasted so much different than back ho.
Sara was quiet for the rest of breakfast. She didn’t seem to know what to say, and as she sat across from us eating, and of course, watching the baby sleep in its swing, she tried to keep to herself.
Even when Allegra had co in, her hair a complete ss and her makeup pushed across her skin, having obviously fallen asleep before she could take it off, Sara still said nothing.
I wasn’t sure why it was that she seed to be taken aback by the way I was offering her to have fun, but sothing about her just seed off. As soon as the baby woke and started crying, Sara quickly got up and placed her dishes into the sink.
“Please don’t clean anything. I will do it before we leave,” she stated as she grabbed the child from the swing gently in her arms, and a smile on her face, and disappeared with him back down the hallway towards the room that they were staying in.
My brows furrowed as I watched her, an uneasy feeling settling over as I tried to understand why it was that she was acting the way she was. Neal must have understood that there was an issue because the mont that she was gone, he gently touched my arm, catching my attention.
“What’s the matter?” he asked . His brows narrowed as he glanced over at the hallway where Sara had disappeared and then turned back to .
“I don’t know, just sothing seems off. She’s only wanting to stay inside with the baby, and I offered her to go into town to have fun with us. I thought she would be excited, but instead, she just seed so troubled by it.”
He was quiet for a mont as he pondered what I’d said, bringing his coffee cup back to his lips one more ti as he glanced towards the hallway again. “You know, I never did a background check on her, and Jas had always taken care of that stuff before, and he hired her. So I didn’t think I needed to. But if you’d like, I can look into her to see if there’s sothing we should be worried about.”
Soft laughter escaped , and even Allegra, too, scoffed at the idea. “Neal, as much as I love your enthusiasm and protecting this family, I don’t need you to do that. Jas wouldn’t have hired anybody he thought would have been a danger to his grandson.”
Nodding his head, he didn’t bother to argue with . He knew I was right in the end, or at least I had assud he knew I was right. Jas was a lot of things, but one thing he wouldn’t ever do is put anybody in the path of endangering his family if it could be avoided.
“If that is what you wish for, princess, then so be it.”
“Oh, Jesus. At least you guys are back on better terms,” Allegra groaned as she rolled her eyes and stood from the table. “Let go get ready if we’re going into town. God knows I need to do so shopping.”
The mont that Allegra walked away, Neal and I burst into laughter. Standing from the table myself, I smiled at Neal. “Let go get ready, and then we can leave here within an hour.”
“Sounds good. I’ll finish up here, and then I’ll go get ready myself.”
I was pleased that everything was kind of back to normal, and even though the ache inside never dimd from the loss of Tally and Jas, I was trying my best to put a normal smile on my face and do things that would make happy.
I couldn’t live my life in misery, mourning soone that was never coming back.
The only thing I could do was live my life and rember them, knowing that this is what they would want from —knowing that no matter how hard the loss was. I would forever rember the good tis I’d had with them.
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