Chapter Fourteen - sh
“The sh is a world onto itself, with communities and markets and entire micro-civilisations all packed into one sowhat united world running on code so complex and convoluted that no one human could do more than scratch the surface of it.
It’s not just ‘the internet but more;’ it’s a whole new world, where with enough dedication, effort, and creativity, you can beco soone entirely new.”
--Anonymous, 2045
***
“Alright,” Daniel said “What’s the address you need to head over to?”
I spun around a few tis, doing figure-eights beneath Daniel’s huge squid body to get used to the motions of my strange cat-body... avatar thing. I was pretty sure I was completely ssing up the terminology, and I was also pretty sure I didn’t care.
“Myalis has it,” I said. “Myalis?”
Sending. You know, I do believe I could set a waypoint and guide you there myself.
“And would you be able to guide without stopping by every virtual veterinarian shop along the way?” I asked. “Nope, I don’t trust you.”
Oh, how awful it is that a Vanguard can no longer trust her AI. Would petting you restore your confidence? Perhaps so digital catnip?
“Now you’re just fucking with ,” I said while glaring out ahead.
Daniel spun around, legs twisting about behind him like, well, like a squid. “You know, talking to yourself like that? Not all that great when it cos down to making you look sane.”
“I’m talking to my dumb AI,” I said. “Did you get the address?”
“Yeah, I got an email for it,” he said. “It’s in nyan speak though.”
My eyes narrowed. “What’s nyan-speak?”
The squid wiggled, and Daniel started to laugh. “Nah, just fucking with you.”
That was a good one. Do complint Daniel for the joke, and thank him for the idea.
I sighed a kitty sigh and sat down. For all that I was complaining about the avatar, it was still pretty neat, in an existential-crisis sort of way. I imagined that Lucy would very much approve of being in this form.
“Alright,” I said. I could endure being a cat for a bit. It would maybe help if people underestimated . And I was a cat person. “So how do we get to Dial-Up and Lag?”
Daniel spun around so that he was facing with his many, many red eyes. “That depends on a few things, but I think the fastest way to get to their district will be via the tube. There should be a station around here. If you have a few bucks we could use a wayport to the nearest station.”
“You know, I might be a Samurai and all, but I’m still broke as fuck,” I said.
Daniel’s tentacles moved up and down in a gesture that I guessed was so sort of shrug. “Fair enough. Want to follow or should I carry you?”
“That doesn’t sound safe,” I said. All of his limbs were made of serrated bits of tal, and they ended in sharply-tipped grasper hand things. He even had a few weapons tucked away.
“This is a non-PVP zone. So’s the tube. I could literally not hurt you if I tried. Weapons are off too.” He moved closer, so of his limbs reaching out for . “Do you have ride on?”
“Do I what?” I asked.
Daniel sighed, a strange flanging note that still conveyed a lack of patience. I felt a bit like... well, like one of those older caretakers at the orphanage being shown how to use so tablet or app by the kittens and just not getting it.
I was about ten years too young to be feeling that way.
“In your main nu, ah, it depends which company programd your OS, but there should be a permissions nu to allow you to interact with other avatars. One of the options is ‘ride.’ It ans soone can physically take and move your avatar. It’s off by default most of the ti because otherwise so clever bastards can basically kidnap you.”
The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
“You can virtually kidnap soone?”
Again with the tentacle shrug. “Sorta. There was a whole thing where scripted NPCs would grab players off the street and stick them in ad mazes. It was pretty annoying. Also, there were a bunch of scams, but that hasn’t changed.”
I reached up to scratch at my nose, then reconsidered when I took in my lack of hands. “Right, sounds fucky. Let find my nu.”
A glance around showed a lack of prompts or buttons or even a hub. I probably should have noticed that earlier. I’d grown up with so sort of screen over my vision nearly my entire life, though since I’d gone Samurai my hub had gotten a bit less obvious and yet a lot more complicated.
I can bring it up for you, if you want. Or I could just control things for you. You won’t have to worry about scams or viruses either way.
“Can I see it anyway?” I asked.
Myalis obliged and a mont later a pretty standard nu appeared before . It had tabs for the usual things. Graphics, interface, audio and so on. The difference to any other nu I’d ever seen was the number of options available. So of them were garbled sses of acronyms, others had nested sections that went four or five options deep. The scroll bar on the side (which looked like a cat’s paw, because Myalis) was so small it was almost impossible to see.
“Okay, so maybe not,” I admitted. Playing around in the sh seed far too complicated. “Set Ride on.”
It’s on.
“You can’t believe how jealous I am,” Daniel said. “They have these little personal AIs that will do voice commands like that, but they cost an arm and a leg. Or you need to sign up for these really shit paynt plans.”
“Right,” I said. “Float a bit lower, I need to get on you.”
Daniel dipped down a bit, his... head part coming closer to the ground.
I bunched my legs under , then jumped majestically about half a foot off the ground before flopping onto my stomach.
Could you do that again? It was amusing.
I got back onto all fours, then bounced on the spot a few tis. “Okay, I can do that, but why can’t I jump? I’m a damned cat.”
You can, actually. You’re just really bad at controlling yourself.
Daniel was shaking, and I suspected the bastard was laughing at . My second attempt at jumping was far better. I made it to Daniel’s head before finding no purchase on his tal skin and falling backwards and landing on my ass.
He was outright laughing aloud by the ti I tried a third ti and made it on top of him. “Stop laughing and tell how to hang on,” I said.
“Just hang on as best you can,” Daniel said.
Your feet can stick to things. Physics don’t matter entirely in a digital world.
I tried to raise an eyebrow at that, but all that happened was that the whisker-y things above one eye wiggled. “Right,” I said. A bit of fiddling with my feet did have them sticking to the top of Daniel’s body, so that was nice. “That works. Okay Daniel, you’re my valiant tentacle robot steed for the evening.”
“I might have to tell Lucy that,” he said. “And please don’t call by my na. It’s bad netiquette to use real nas.”
“You have a stupid na, don’t you?” I asked.
“Better than Stray Cat,” he said.
I shrugged. “Alright, fair enough. What is it?”
“404_Legs_Not_Found.”
I looked down at Daniel, then snorted. “You idiot.”
He chuckled, tentacles wiggling for a mont. “I thought it was clever. You know, apropos.”
“Get moving, Legs. We’ve wasted enough ti here.”
***
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