Chapter 408: Life Goes On
Dawn and Mari sat down in the Den. Neither of them said a word to the other.
After the embrace earlier Dawn had led Mari to the Den and had offered to get her cookies or a drink but Mari had politely declined.
Now they sat there in silence.
Dawn stared ahead. Her eyes fixed on nothing.
Mari glanced at her from ti to ti, unsure what to say. Usually she would have tried to say sothing funny or smart but she couldn’t.
Just like Emily had told her. She did her best to just be there with Dawn and not pick up her phone or do anything else.
The clock on the wall ticked softly.
After what seed like the longest silence of Mari’s life, Dawn finally looked at Mari.
"Have you ever lost soone dear to you?" Dawn asked quietly.
Mari nodded. "Yeah. Susan. I lost my biological mom at birth. Susan practically raised
from infant-hood before my Dad t and married my Mom. And even after my Dad married my Mom, Susan remained as part of the family. She didn’t want to leave . She felt she owed it to my birth mom to raise . Susan died when I was in middle school." Mari sighed. "I said more than you asked , didn’t I?"
"No. It’s fine. It’s better than the silence I think," Dawn’s voice was small. "I don’t know what to say hence I’m silent."
"Oh," Mari exclaid. " too," she admitted. "If you want
to fill the silence with silly stuff I can. If you want
to listen to you talk about Genevieve, I can too. And if you want
to just shut up and sit here with you, I can do my best even if the silence kills ."
Dawn’s lips curved ruefully at that. "We already lost one friend. We wouldn’t want to lose another. So speak if the silence will kill you."
"Oh!" Mari exclaid, slapping her lips. "Sorry. I didn’t an to joke about that..."
"I know that," Dawn assured her quickly. "I don’t rember much about my mom and grandparents to feel sad about their loss. I don’t care about Ryan enough to feel broken about his death. So, I think Genevieve is the first person I’ve lost, whom I cared about. My heart feels heavy even saying this. And my stomach feels tight."
Mari rose from her seat and went to sit beside Dawn. She placed a gentle hand on Dawn’s hand.
"It’s okay for you to feel this way. Feeling sad is totally normally when you lose soone you care about. Don’t hold it in. Cry if you need to," she said softly, repeating the words Andy had told her when Susan died.
Dawn let out a shaky breath. "Just yesterday I was imagining hosting a group hangout for us all at Jamal’s, with her and Stefan in attendance. I even thought about couple vacations. How it would be nice to leave the past behind us and just move forward."
Mari patted her back.
Dawn let out a small sound. Half laugh and half cry. "I was looking forward to having a real relationship with her." A tear slipped down her cheek. "I had no idea our last conversation would be the last. If I had know—"
That broke sothing in Mari. She pulled Dawn into another hug. Tighter this ti.
"You couldn’t have know," Mari said softly. "You spoke to her. You forgave her despite all she did. She knew you loved her. And that is all that matters."
Dawn’s lips trembled again.
"But why did she have to die?" Dawn asked quietly.
"I know she hurt
and was an to
for years," she continued. "She lied and pretended to be . She took things from
that I can’t get back." Her voice shook. "But she had a had life too and she deserved a break. Especially seeing how she was trying to change."
Mari nodded slowly.
Dawn’s eyes filled again.
"She was going to work at the foundation. She was excited about it," she whispered.
Mari squeezed her hand gently but said nothing.
Dawn sniffed softly. "I don’t know what to do with this feeling," she admitted.
Mari nodded. "You don’t have to do anything," she said softly and held her gaze. "You can just feel it," she added.
Dawn’s eyes searched hers. "For how long?" she asked quietly.
Mari hesitated. Then she gave a small, honest shrug. "As long as you need to without letting it get in the way of everything else. It’s okay to acknowledge the pain when it cos but you have to also bear in mind that life goes on and as such you can’t waste all the ti you have left with the living mourning over the dead."
Dawn stared at her for a second as she processed that. Then she leaned her head on Mari’s shoulder. "Thank you, Mari."
Mari didn’t respond. She was too stunned and impressed by the words of wisdom she had just spoken. She couldn’t believe how wise she was to have co up with such a smart advice.
Mari’s phone rang, bringing her out of her thoughts.
Dawn pulled away to give her space to take out her phone. When Mari pulled it out and saw it was Jax she hesitated.
Seeing her hesitation, Dawn smiled. "You should take your call. I’m fine. I feel much better."
Mari looked at her. "Are you sure?"
Dawn nodded. "It still hurts. But I will be okay. I should go freshen up while you receive your call."
Mari nodded and watched as Dawn walked away from there.
As Dawn climbed the stairs, Mari’s words stayed with her.
They didn’t comfort her imdiately, but they settled sowhere deep inside her.
The pain didn’t have to control every mont and she didn’t have to rush to "be okay," but she also couldn’t disappear into the grief completely.
She realized she didn’t know how to balance it yet, but maybe she didn’t need to know right now.
Maybe it was enough to take it one mont at a ti and to feel it when it ca.
To breathe when it got too heavy.
To remind herself that there were still people here, Jamal, Josh, and the rest of the clan, who she had to be present for.
Her chest still ached. Her stomach was still tight. But her thoughts felt a little clearer like she had sothing small to hold on to.
And for now, that was enough for her to try.
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