Chapter 339: Awkward
Jamal’s car pulled to a stop in front of the house just as Callan and Josh settled in front of the TV watching a cartoon.
The living room was warm and bright with laughter. Josh sat on Callan’s lap, laughing loudly at sothing silly on the screen while Callan pretended not to understand the jokes, earning playful slaps from the little boy.
Josh’s head snapped to the door when it opened. "Daddy!" Josh shouted the mont he saw Jamal step inside.
He jumped off Callan’s lap and ran so fast Callan was afraid he’d fall. Jamal barely had ti to open his arms before Josh leaped into him. Jamal caught him with a loud laugh.
"There you are!" Jamal said, lifting him high. "You missed
that much?"
Josh nodded fast, talking very quickly. "Daddy, I played outside with a butterfly, and Mommy gave
juice, and I saw a dog, and—"
"Slow down," Jamal said through a laugh as he tried to kiss Josh’s cheek, but the boy kept turning his head to talk.
In the kitchen, Dawn and Emily had just finished popping fresh popcorn when she heard Jamal’s voice.
Dawn laughed as she walked over to them, wiping her hands on a towel. "Baby, breathe. Your daddy isn’t going anywhere, you can tell him everything slowly," Dawn told Josh, tapping his back.
Josh giggled and hid his face in Jamal’s neck when he caught Emily watching him with amusent.
Dawn leaned in, gave Jamal a soft kiss, and asked, "How was work?"
"Long and stressful," he said, pressing his lips to hers. "But this makes it better."
Callan watched the scene with a small smile on his face. It was a simple family mont filled with warmth and love, and it made sothing inside him ache in a strangely hopeful way.
Soday, maybe he could have that with Emily.
He looked toward the kitchen doorway, and froze when he noticed Emily standing there.
She was leaning on the wall, watching him quietly. Her eyes were soft. When their eyes t, she gave him a small smile like she shared his thought.
Callan’s heart skipped and he smiled back.
Jamal, noticing the look they shared, bit back a knowing grin. "Let
go freshen up," he announced as he looked from Emily to Callan. "I’ll join you guys in a few minutes."
As he walked toward the hallway, Dawn followed behind him, still holding his arm, while Josh remained in his arms, talking nonstop.
As they disappeared into the bedroom, the house suddenly felt calr.
Callan turned back to Emily and patted the spot beside him. "Why are you just standing there? Co sit."
Emily walked slowly toward the couch and sat beside him, leaving a noticeable space between them.
"You seem to really get along with Josh," she observed softly.
Callan chuckled. "Who wouldn’t? He’s a brilliant kid. Very funny too."
"He is." Emily nodded. "I didn’t know you loved kids that much."
"I do." His answer ca quickly and warmly. "I really do." He wanted to add that he hoped to have so with her soday, but he didn’t think it would be a good idea, so he shut up.
Emily didn’t say more. She nodded and looked straight at the television.
Callan watched her for a mont. "I don’t like this, Em," Callan finally said, his voice low.
"What?" She asked without looking at him.
"This awkward thing going on between us. I hate it. I wish I could fix it. Make things lighter. Is there sothing I can do?"
Emily turned to him slowly. "Things aren’t awkward. You think they are because you expect
to forget everything and act fine. But I’m not there yet."
"But before I brought it up and apologised, it wasn’t this awkward, right?" He reminded her.
"That was because we were both pretending we were cool. Now we are no longer pretending," she said flatly.
"So, we are not cool?" He asked, and Emily rolled her eyes.
She was silent for a short while. Then she rembered her conversation with her mother and asked suddenly, "Is it true you’re moving back to Ludus?"
Callan nodded. "Yes. After your program."
She frowned. "Why wait till after my training?" she asked.
He looked at her face. Her eyes were searching his.
"Because," he said slowly, "no one wants you to be alone in Husla."
Emily blinked. "So if I say I don’t want to return to Husla, you’d move back sooner?"
Callan hesitated. "Yeah." Then, studying her expression, he asked, "why? Do you not want to go back with ?"
Emily shook her head. "I’ve just been thinking. I never really wanted the program. Before or now. And now that everyone probably knows who my father is and that I’m the one you were talking about at the party, so will want to befriend
for the wrong reason. Others will think I only got in because of my connections and badmouth
behind my back."
She sighed, shoulders slumping. "When I heard how hard other people worked to get in, all the hoops they had to jump through, I knew I didn’t deserve my place."
Callan’s brows drew together. "Why would you think that?"
"Because I didn’t work for it," she said firmly. "It ca to
on a platter. I took a slot soone else fought for. I couldn’t even relate to any of the things they talked about. I knew nothing about the tests they wrote or the interviews. I had to make up lies and excuse myself from conversations because I had no experience of the subject when I should. Tell , why do you think people work so hard to join the program?"
"To learn from one of the best doctors in the world," Callan said simply.
"True. But it’s mostly because it looks good on their CV." Emily swallowed. "I already have my place at the hospital here. So imagine being ... walking into the program knowing I got in without earning it. It doesn’t feel fair to others, who must have worked really hard to have their seat at that table. And it bothers
too because it makes
wonder if my father avoided the normal process because he thought I wouldn’t qualify."
Callan sat up straighter, frowning. "That’s not true. I’m sure that’s not the case. You’d have gotten it had you gone through the normal process. You’re intelligent."
"It doesn’t feel like it," she whispered. "And because I would never feel confident enough unless I do this the right way, I want to drop out. The program hasn’t gone too far. I want them to give my position to soone who deserves it. I’ll try again next ti. Fairly."
Callan stared at her. "Emily, is that truly what you want?"
"Yes," she said. Then added with a little shrug, "and you’d applaud my decision unless you’re worried I won’t pass, or maybe you’re worried about the money you donated going to waste."
Callan shook his head, amused. "Do you really not know that as long as the organisers know your identity, they’ll pick you again no matter what? Even if you don’t et the criteria?"
Emily scrunched her nose. "At least I’ll know I put in the effort then. I’ll make sure I pass everything next ti so that when I’m selected I can believe it’s because I earned it. Not because I’m privileged."
"Okay," Callan said softly. "But I won’t be in Husla by the next ti you apply."
"It’s fine," Emily replied quickly. "I can take care of myself."
Callan’s brows lifted. "But you will be going back with , right?"
"I will," she said. "But don’t tell my dad or anyone about this." She lowered her voice. "I’ll return to Husla, talk to the program director first, and then I’ll tell my father after I’ve pulled out of the training."
Callan opened his mouth to tell her that she’d been sent to live with him in Husla partly so that they could resolve their differences and make up their minds on whether or not they wanted to be together, but before he could say a word, they heard soft footsteps and the sound of Josh’s loud voice returning.
They turned toward the hallway.
Jamal ca back into the living room, fresh shirt on, hair damp from a quick wash. Dawn followed behind him, smiling. Josh ran straight to the couch, climbing between Callan and Emily.
Callan shut his mouth.
Maybe it wasn’t the right ti to tell her.
Not yet.
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