There was nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I felt no pain, I had no breath in ... And I had no body... No physical form. At first, I thought this was death in its purest form. Especially because death, as they say, brings peace. And I was at peace.
Or was I? I am still thinking so... Maybe not. This was... confusing...
I couldn’t rember my na. I know I rembered it at first, but now when I want to recall it again... It was eluding . That was the first real sign sothing was wrong and that I was maybe not at peace... I tried to grasp it, but it slid between my thoughts like water through my fingers.
Then, as I tried to rember it, the mories ca flooding back. They weren't even whole but simply shattered images blinking in and out. Pieces of... . But... who was I?
I heard a girl's laugh... It felt familiar. Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Firm... different. Followed by a voice which belonged to... Yes... My Master’s voice. It was patient and warm. But who was my Master? Is that... A training ground bathed in orange sunlight? It feels nice... I think I like that mory. Oh... There, the girl's voice again... Yes... A small girl with a purple lekku spinning too fast, distracting , then her training saber clashing with mine as she grinned. Why do I smile? I'm not sure, but... I like this.
Ah. Yes... Vila? Yes... I think that was her na.
Was that her na?
Everything felt faded as if I were walking through soone else’s mories. Maybe I was. Maybe... Maybe not... So... I clung to the fragnts, but they peeled away from like old paper. I couldn't hold onto them. Even my own face... What did I look like again? Was I... Who was I...? It was a mystery by now.
I don’t know how long I floated there in that not-place. In that milky-white sea of... sothing. Ti didn't exist here, that I was sure of. There was no sky, no floor, no heat or cold, and when I blinked, maybe decades had passed. Maybe just seconds... I don't know... Not anymore, not in this vast emptiness where my thoughts echoed and ca back to from all directions.
Maybe I should stop thinking... Mhm... yes... Perhaps I should just... let it all go...
And then, just as I was about to follow through with it, sothing tugged at . Not harshly, not at all, but it was enough to make jolt and suddenly recall things I thought I had forgotten. Like... Like that, this tugging was not like the Rakatan invasion of my mind. This was different. It felt... gentle. Curious even. Like soone poking at my sides with a stick.
I turned, well, though I had no body, I still did, but now that too felt different. I certainly had a body all of a sudden, albeit sowhat transparent... I looked and... saw him. A small, hunched creature with green skin and long, pointed ears stood before on... nothing. He leaned on a gnarled wooden cane, blinking up at with way too bright, ancient eyes that sparkled with... with... I don't know... but he had the most powerful gaze I have ever seen.
"Hm," he said, tapping his cane once. "Not quite soup, you are. But certainly stirred, yes."
"...What?" I asked, not expecting sothing like that at all.
"Lost, you are. But not gone," the creature said, nodding to himself. "A thread in the Force, a candle with a tiny fla. Curious, curious..."
"Um..." I stared at him, wanting to know who or what he was, as every word he spoke made feel... that... That I was regaining more of myself. "What... are you?"
"Heh," His ears twitched, chuckling, "What am I, hmm? Question better: What are you?"
"I... I don’t know...?" I answered, but then I glanced down at my fingers, and as I looked at them, I saw them becoming more... real.
"Ah. Then progress, we make." He stepped closer, still barely reaching my knees. “Still not dust. Still not gone. Found yourself, you can, mmm.”
The odd rhythm of his voice, the clipped way of his speech, sounding like the old basic from a thousand years ago... sowhere deep inside, it stirred sothing. Recognition. I heard his voice before. I heard it... There were recordings of him in the archives. Yes! I learned about him because... because... Yes...
"You’re Grandmaster Yoda!"
"Mmm..." The creature bowed slightly, his ears dipping. "Yoda, I was. Long gone, perhaps. But still I am."
"How... How do I see you? Am I dead?" I gulped because I knew that the legendary Master of Grandmaster Luke himself was long gone from the world, becoming one with the Force. Was I... dead, too, then?
"Dood?" he chuckled, shaking his head. “Not yet. Stubborn, you are. Like a Jedi, I knew. Yes, yes...”
"Jedi..." I whispered, recalling that I was one... or trying to beco one.
"Yes," He nodded. "Feel your Master, yes. Calls out to you, he does. Strong, he is, but alone he is not. There is another. Her call, you must also feel. But still, decide your own you must: return... or rest."
I swallowed or thought I did... Decide...? Feel...? Who? Another? Then, as if hitting , I knew imdiately he ant Vila.
"How do I return?" I asked the mont my thoughts settled down on her.
"Not how, young one. Why." He poked my legs with his cane. “Anchor must you find. In the Force? You drift. In the Dark? You drown. But in yourself? You are.”
I didn’t answer as my thoughts felt heavy and slow. There was too much in what he was saying, and... it was hard to make sense of it.
"Don't try."Yoda tilted his head, watching squirm as I was trying to figure out what he ant by it, "Do or do not. There is no try..." Then, his voice softened sowhat, "Gifted, you are. Rare sensitivity, mmm. You hear what others cannot, see what should remain unseen. It can lead you... But gifts... Danger, they are.”
"So... I should... force myself back?"
Thinking for a mont, he lifted his cane again, this ti tapping the air as a swirl of murky darkness rose, making watch them before they slowly cleared into the light, giving off a different feeling than the whiteness around us.
"Forcing... Is not the way. The Dark Side..." he said slowly, “Loud, it is." Then, as he summoned another swirl of smoke, I could feel that it was indeed... buzzing. Like boiling water. The more I looked, the louder it beca, almost scarily so, before his calm voice made it disappear, and I was back to normal. "Powerful, yes. Quick... seductive. Force, you must not. But confident in yourself, you must be. Balance." He added, articulating the world even more slowly, "Yet careful you must. The Dark Side tempts; it always tempts. Blind, it makes. Deaf it makes... It drones.”
I watched the swirl of shadows again, showing themselves every ti he spoke and moved his stick. They pulsed with raw energy. With incredible power... But they also felt... wrong... They blocked out all my other senses if I started focusing on them.
"But... if it's so dangerous, why can I feel it so clearly?" I asked, realizing that here, both feelings were present at once.
"Because attuned, you are. Like a river, you feel every stone, every ripple. Good. Useful. But!" He raised a small claw warningly, "Temptation, it brings. Use the Dark for a little, you may think. But lose the Light, you will. Its noise is louder. Its echo endless. It drowns out true guidance. And the Force?" He stopped, looking at , waiting for to comprehend his words.
"The Force..." I repeated as he pointed towards my chest with his cane.
“Silent, it becos. And alone, you will be... Not hearing its guidance over your power.”
"..." I clenched my fists, feeling his words, "But... how does that make ... return from here? I don't get it... If I do it, I force it... If I don't..."
Master Yoda looked at for a long ti, not speaking... Then, he smiled.
“Guide you, the Force does. Not command, not compel. Understand the word, you must: Guide. Choice... always yours. Trust it! Not the power it gives... but the path it shows. There lies strength. Follow its guidance, not its power. Then, return ho, you will.”
I breathed in with no lungs, no breath, and yet I felt sothing stir within again. A thread... he called when we first t. And true... it was there. It was thin, fragile... But it was leading away from this void.
It was my way back.
"Ti it is," Master Yoda said softly, now that I noticed the thing he probably saw from the start, “Not yet yours, this place. Destiny ahead, not behind.”
Hearing his words, I looked down as I began to sink into... a different path.
“Thank you,” I said, now looking up, watching him as I kept sinking.
"Mmm." He smiled, much farther away from now. “Need not thanks. Just rember.” His voice echoed even as he faded. "Guide us, the Force does. Listen to it... Always."
And then... I began falling...
...
....
......
My first breath was a scream.
I sat bolt upright in a bed, pain lancing through my side from both directions. I gasped, my eyes wide as the ceiling of a white chamber swam into focus. Ugh... My head hurt... A proper, skull-splitting migraine... Even the present, soft lights were painful to look at. Then... I noticed the sll of dical-grade bacta and clean robes.
Wait... I wasn’t dead. I was...
"Kael!" a voice cried out all of a sudden, probably startled awake by my hoarse yelling.
"Ah..." I turned, blinking my eyes, trying to focus. It was Vila, of course. She looked... Tired. I had never seen her with such big, black bags under her eyes. Looking at her, her lekku were twitching like crazy, and her eyes were red-rimd, but her voice cracked with relief, "You're...! You... you’re awake!"
She crossed the room in two steps, throwing her arms around . I flinched, still sore and hurting like crazy, but of course, I didn’t push her away. She felt good... and slled good... Mhm... I hugged her back with as much force as my limp arms allowed to. I heard the door open, and when I looked past her, I saw Master Ben standing in the doorway. He didn’t speak; he just gave a nod that said everything, accompanied by a warm smile.
"Where—?"
"The Academy," Vila said gently. “Back on Yavin 4.”
"How long...?"
"..." Her smile trembled. "Almost four months."
"Ah..." My mouth went dry, hearing her, "Four...?"
"You were barely breathing when we got to you," Master said at last, coming closer. “Your connection to the Force was...” He shook his head. “Hard to describe. My Father said you were slowly slipping away. He said that you may disappear one day like his Masters did. But we waited. We believed you’d find your way back!”
I touched my chest, rembering my dream and feeling my heart still beating. Pretty quickly, if I say so myself... Eh...
"I almost did..." I nodded, making Vila's arms stiffen as she held onto my fingers, "But then... Soone saved ."
"Soone?"
"Yeah..." I nodded, furrowing my brows. I was trying to recall, but... "It is all so... Fuzzy," I muttered, feeling my head starting to ache again as I winced, closing one eye.
"It's okay." Vila interrupted , gently stroking my head, "It's okay... You are back; that is what matters..."
"Yeah..." I smiled at her, happy that I was indeed back, "I am."
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