Yasurouka's POV
Lately, I have been really restless every ti I think about Saishi. And after what he did that day, I can't shake his thought of my mind. Why is he like that!?
He tried to fucking kiss !? What the heck? Our lips were so close. I don't know what would have happened if the bell didn't ring at that mont. Would he have gone for the kiss?
But I didn't do anything. I couldn't move myself away from him. Sohow, the way he was looking at made feel like I was sinking in the dark voids inside his eyes. That's why I closed my eyes and tried to look away from him.
He makes feel really weird sotis but again he is the only one who makes feel comfortable lately. He has been by my side and has been listening to my crap, even though I know he hates talking unnecessarily with others.
He said that the girl he loved was in love with soone else and he can't make her fall for him. He was talking about . It's difficult for to wrap my head around the fact that soone just indirectly confessed to and even tried to kiss .
I had stopped looking at myself as soone who can be loved. But he always said that there are people who love . Maybe one of them was him.
He is really rude at tis, but I have felt the touch of his kindness, too. When he hugged , I felt really calm in that mont even though I knew what was going on inside .
I wanted to get out of his arms, but so part inside wanted his affection. I wanted to feel his touch on . Gaisen never hugged like that. I never felt this sort of connection with anyone. He never caressed my hair the way Saishi does.
Saishi makes feel so bizarre sotis that it becos hard for to believe that he doesn't have any experience with girls. Considering his lack of socialising skills, the number of girls that secretly like him is unusual.
But he also made feel really special to him, at least. He really cared for , but I don't know what happened at the end that led him to make that choice. But that simply ant that I was just a choice for him.
But looking at Saishi doing the things Gaisen also used to do, I can't help but reminisce about the monts that I buried deep inside , never to be cherished anymore.
I rember the ti we shared an umbrella because he forgot his. I can't help but feel delighted when he shows affection. The way he holds my hands gently, his warm eyes and his awkward try at smiling.
Saishi was the first ever person who didn't turn back from calling a weed, but the way he said that weeds also longs for survival made happy sohow.
I was expecting sothing along the lines of "No you're a flower too, you aren't a weed." But what he said was indeed unexpected. That was the first ti I saw his kind side. Even with this tough stone cold exterior, he is a nice guy after all.
But even after all this, I can't shake off the feeling that there is an indefinite distance between us that I may not ever overco. He was close to , but I was sohow far away from him.
What if Saishi also leaves ? I never know what he is thinking of. He indeed tried to kiss , but what if he didn't really an it?
Especially after the way he was talking with that junior girl, Chiaki. Why was he being so nice to her? Didn't he already reject her? What if I again end up becoming a second choice for Saishi too?
I don't want that to happen.
Saishi is quite the good-looking guy. He is more or less popular with girls, so if I had to think logically then he was under no obligation to love soone like . He obviously has girls better than after him.
But I don't understand his feelings. But they sohow feel familiar. Whenever the thought of him with soone else crosses my mind, I beco a bit uneasy.
I rember now, it's the sa feeling that surged through when I saw Gaisen with Koi. Every ti they would smile together, every ti they would walk together. Every ti they would talk with each other, hold each other's hand.
What I was feeling was jealousy.
But why am I feeling jealous over Saishi? Does that an I love him? Even Koi said that Saishi cares for , but I'm having trouble believing it.
And on the last day when we're walking together, I couldn't help but notice the growing tension between us. Also, he wanted to say sothing but didn't. I have been getting curious about what it might be.
He is making feel so ssed up all of a sudden.
"Hey" As I was just thinking about him, I heard his voice and it startled .
"Kyaaa!"
"Uh… Hi?" Looking at my shocked face, he gave an awkward smile.
"Oh… it's you. What is it?" I looked at him and again I was feeling sothing strange in my gut.
"I wanted to talk about sothing." He said while looking into my eyes. His eyes are so dark that sotis I feel like they aren't there. Or maybe it's because he was standing in the opposite direction of the light.
What does he want to talk about? His goddammit tone. I can't even tell what he is thinking. Sohow, I'm feeling really nervous about it. Maybe he wants to continue from where he left last day.
But what is it that he has to say? And why can't he tell about that here only?
"Oi Reina? Are you coming?" He called over again.
"Ye...yeah." I answered as I got up from my seat and walked towards him, standing near the doorway.
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