I was looking towards the monochromatic ceiling in Shiraishi's room. I was holding an open textbook in one of my arms while my other arm was resting on top of Shiraishi's head, who was lying like a cat on my chest.
"Let stay like this a little longer…" Her soft voice requested and trailed off, as I lied there looking at the ceiling with dead silence around .
There was a strange pressure in the silence and it felt like she had many things to say but couldn't muster up the strength to say those words. It was the first ti since we t that she was showing this side of her.
She was usually a cheerful and energetic girl with no apparent worries in her life.
But right in that mont, the Shiraishi who was in front of seed much more rigid and stern.
Taking a deep breath, I looked around for a mont before sticking my eyes at her. Gently cradling her hair, I asked in a soft tone, "You wanna talk?"
"I...uhm…" She moved her head and looked up towards . Our faces were so close that I could look at my reflection in her amber coloured eyes. Nodding slightly, I smiled and said, "It's alright… I'm all ears."
"Is sothing wrong with ?" She asked with a bit of underlying anticipation in her voice. Questions like these can't be answered directly, so I asked, "...from which perspective?"
"Everyone of them?" She replied instantly and added in a downcasted tone, "People say a lot of things about ."
"And?" I asked, and a brief silence grew between us. She was staring at with a confused look, as she asked in a soft voice, "What do you an by that?"
"Do what they're saying changes who you are as a person?" I asked more specifically, and she said in quite an irritated tone, "... It does… I've a spoiled image in the eyes of others."
"Yeah… others. You know that all of those are crap, right?" I emphasised on the word 'other'. Even though I wasn't actually showing her any empathy, I knew exactly what she wanted to hear from .
My bad habit of sugar coating.
"Yeah… but…" She was cut mid sentence by , as I patted her head again and said in a soft voice, "I know it's difficult… to have people talk about you."
"But… have they ever said anything to your face?"
"But… I know… the way they look at … those eyes… I hate them." She said in a passively annoyed tone and added, "Every single one of them!"
"But isn't it true that you've changed a lot of partners." I asked, as she looked up at with a weird persistence in her eyes and replied in a vague tone, "They've changed ."
"You're loyal to them? And they still broke up with you?"
"Yes… it's mostly because…" She stopped before finishing the sentence and glanced at . She was way too close to that I was noticing even the slightest of her movents. I gave her a nod, "Because?"
"I beco way too attached to them in the beginning, and they slowly lose interest in after so ti." She answered while looking at , as I said with a slight nod, "After so ti? So it's mostly infatuation?"
"Probably… I also find it easier for myself to move on from them." She said, as her hands slowly traced into my hair and she added with a wry smile, "It was difficult at the start… but slowly I beca used to it."
"I'm dumb… I always end up thinking that this ti would be different than the last one and end up getting treated the sa way." She chuckled, but for so reason the tone of her voice didn't match the expression on her face.
"I tried to treat soone the sa way I was being treated and suddenly it beca a huge issue and I was the bad one?" She asked almost as if she was asking for validation from . With a sigh, I nodded my head and replied, "You… should value yourself more."
"Wha… the?" She looked at with surprise, as assuming from her tone, it appeared like what I said offended her. I looked at her and asked, "What? Did I say sothing wrong?"
"No it's just that… no one has ever said sothing like this to before."
"You're a nice person, Saishi."
"I'm not nice." I replied with quite certainty in my tone that she was caught off guard by it. She stared at for a few monts before replying in a soft voice, "Thank you… I guess?"
"Doesn't Moriko help you with this?" I asked her so that she doesn't steer the topic over to being helpful to her.
After all, I wasn't being helpful to her.
I wasn't nice.
She was nothing but a job for .
"She doesn't really prefer getting involved in this hassle." She replied with an awkward smile. I was a bit dubious about it because Moriko always appeared to have so latent hatred for Shiraishi.
I wouldn't point that out. Of course part of it was because I didn't need to at that mont.
If push cos to a shove then I might as well resolve down to thods I've been avoiding.
"That's one friend you…" I was interrupted by Shiraishi, who was swaying her hands to defend her friend, "No no. I obviously don't expect her to defend from a ss that I've created in the first place."
"Don't get wrong… but you seem to be quite friendly with everyone." I said, as she seed to the popular girl in her class.
She said that she was sick of the rumours but those tumours didn't seem to affect her social standing whatsoever. And if those rumours were indeed true, no one seed to be using it against her in any way.
These rumours were rather strange.
Almost as if soone suddenly stirred them up and now expects it to spread uniformly.
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