Soul for a Girlfriend? Chapter 13 - I Don't Feel Like It

Tomose's POV

It was a Saturday morning. I was pondering upon many thoughts while looking at a blank wall in my room which seed interesting to at that point.

Few monts earlier, I just declined the offer of hanging out with Sakamaki because I didn't feel like it anymore. It's true that I was the one who ca up with the idea to hang out, but right now I don't feel like it anymore.

The frequent sound of notifications popping up in my phone was slowly irritating . I guess being popular is a pain too. I put my mobile in silent mode and kept it under my pillow.

I stretched my arms a bit since I have been scrolling social dia all day. Even procrastinating was boring to at this point. I don't even know what I want to do.

It's just that I don't feel motivated to do anything at the mont. This is how my life has been.

I rember Matsushita said sothing about going shopping together with Sakamaki. Now she said it was a coincidence but I can't help feeling it's otherwise. Though from what I heard from her, she said they had small talk and nothing much.

The only reason I wanted to hang out with Sakamaki was because I wanted to feel on the sa level as that of Matsushita, but I guess it was a pipe dream for .

And here I go again, Sakura was right about . I was indeed a self-centred girl. I always thought about myself as the priority. I know that's not a good thing, but it's not like I can control it.

It's just the way I am.

I was feeling bad about refusing to hang out with Sakamaki because previously I've done sothing like this to him too. Only I know the reason, but from a third person perspective, I'll be marked as a selfish girl.

I rembered the incident when I promised to cook Sakamaki so fried chicken but I forgot. I didn't actually forget about it. I didn't feel like doing it anymore, so I didn't.

Yes.

I lied about it. But it's not like I was obligated to do that. I felt bad for crushing his hopes.

Yoshiwa was right about playing with the feelings of boys. Though I didn't do it intentionally, the person in front of was getting directly affected.

What a scum I am.

A smile appeared on my face at that thought. Maybe I was believing it, too.

The muffled sound of my phone vibrating showed a notification that I was getting a call from Matsushita. I muted my phone and kept it aside again.

I didn't enjoy talking with people after school. It was a hassle for , though most of the ti my phone was flowing with many notifications from different chat groups I was in.

Sotis, I think being introverted was better like I used to be in middle school. At least I was happy.

At first this was good, but now this is becoming a pain for .

Wearing a masquerade of a smile on my face when I'm not even feeling good. I could easily express my genuine expressions but that would be problematic too since I would've had to answer several questions regarding my mood.

Yoshiwa always complained about having attitude problems so that might end up making my partner hate .

Last week, an upperclassman from class 3-3 confessed to , but I rejected him. It's just that I don't know if I'll be a good girlfriend or not.

No, that's just a lie I was feeding myself with.

I don't know what I want to be honest. I just feel like flowing in the way my life is taking .

I don't like talking about my emotions with random people. I may be friendly from the outside, but I still had my introverted traits from my past. The only reason I talk with Sakamaki is because I have known him since last year.

Talking with him has now beco a part of my daily routine. If there were days without us chatting in the night, my entire day would feel kind of incomplete.

I was getting a little curious about Sakamaki since it was hard to tell what kind of guy he was. He seed like a nice guy, if I'm being honest. He may look rude… okay, sotis he may sound rude too, but he is a nice guy if you get to know him.

Matsushita considered Sakamaki a relatively handso guy, and she was always honest about it. It seed like she was quite close to him since he calls her by her first na.

And I have seen him smile while talking with her. It's not like he doesn't smile when talks with . It's just that Sakamaki smiling like that was a rare sight. He always has this straight face with a blank expression.

It's weird how fast they beca so close to each other. Even though I have known him for a longer ti than her. Her outgoing personality really helps her at tis like this.

I still find it really weird that Sakamaki just randomly decided to make friends. I thought he didn't like social interactions much because last year in the group assignnt; he talked little with or any other mber of the group. He just completed his part and then dipped.

I wasn't expecting Sakamaki to stand up for against Yoshiwa that day. Matsushita also sided with him, though I wonder if she would've done it for .

Sakamaki was becoming way too attached to . He will just end up getting hurt in the end. He was worried about .

I know.

But I couldn't get the will to appreciate his concern for .

Realising that I spent my last few minutes thinking about him, blood rushed to my cheeks. I don't even know when I beca so attached to him. Just a few weeks ago, we didn't even talk to each other.

A lot of thoughts were running through my exhausted mind. I did nothing the whole day, despite that, I feel tired sohow.

I relaxed my body and soon fell asleep.

I entered class the next day, and walked towards my seat. I noticed Yoshiwa and Sakamaki talking with each other. Now that was a rare sight indeed, because I thought they didn't like each other.

Matsushita was staring at sothing with a faint expression on her face.

Yoshiwa's gaze turned towards as I put my bag down on my desk. She charged at .

"Hey, you Bitch." She called out in a bitter tone.

Did she just call a bitch? Out of nowhere?

I looked at her in confusion.