On my way to school, I was reminiscing about my exchange with Kizhashi the previous day. Though I've been slacking off a bit since it was already one month since I captured the last target.
I entered the class and noticed Kizhashi glance at for an instant, but it was so subtle no one would've noticed it. Rembering our agreent of not walking with each other in school, I walked past her to my desk.
Putting my bag on the desk, I sat and yawned while stretching my arms in front of . The class was filled with the usual chattering of students. The surrounding atmosphere was certainly more lively compared to what it was a week ago.
I glanced outside the window and noticed that students were already starting with the preparations for the sports festival. Flags bearing our school's emblem were being put in different places. Also, so students were putting the rough structure around the tracks to separate the runners and the crowd.
I could see our PE teacher talking with a bunch of students who were holding so cones in their hands. They looked like they were from the football team, though they could be from the volleyball team, as they both have quite similar uniforms.
Sports festival was quite a unique day for us as it happened only once a year and all students looked really forward to it. For students who are athletic and good at sports, it was their day to shine. But even for students with average athleticism, it was a day they could put a show of their abilities.
As soon as the new academic year started, everyone waited eagerly for this day. It was also one of those days when no teacher would scold you for roaming all day and doing nothing. So couples used to co on sports day only so that they could spend ti with each other.
Altogether, it was quite a delightful day for us students. It was just the second day of the new month and students were excited about an event that was going to happen two weeks later. This year, the sports festival was on 16th September.
The preparation takes so ti and also sports clubs would be busy honing their skills in the last few days for a better performance at the festival. As for the rewards, there were the normal dals and trophies for us contestants.
Last year, Tsun's club lost their position because of soone's fault and ranked in 4th place. Though I can't rember their na, I rember Tsun helping his fellow club mate from distress. He was a really considerate person when it cos to things he is passionate about. May it be his love or archery.
As for , in my whole school life, I have never taken part in any events. I was a really ek kid back in elentary and middle school, so the thought of performing in front of so many eyes staring at was a bit anxious.
Also, because back then I used to live with my parents and no matter what I did, they would never appreciate . It was always my sister. Whatever she did earned her their respect and applause, but it did not satisfy them. No matter how hard I push myself, no matter how good I do, it doesn't matter whether I score 85% or 95%, they would appreciate .
Pushing myself to limit day after day, years after years. Just to hear "I'm proud of you." from my parent's mouth for even once but they never did till this date. So at a point I stopped caring I capped myself at an average of 85%. This was a good threshold since it wasn't very low that people would make fun of my marks, but at the sa ti, it wasn't high enough for anyone to have expectations from .
As for , when I compared myself to my extraordinary sister, who was a second-year student at Tokyo University, I found out that I was indeed trash compared to her. I wasn't good at anything, neither academics nor athletics. There wasn't one thing I could proudly say that I excel at.
My sister was a person I hated when I was young, but as we grew up and realised the situation in our house, we grew closer. If there was anyone I really cared about in this world, it was my sister. The person I used to hate the most beca soone I care the most for.
It was thanks to her that I could successfully move out and live on my own. I swear to god if I was under the sa roof with that man and woman, I would've developed so sort of ntal disability.
But it was thanks to them that I understood how the world really worked. When people you really hold your dearest do things that contradict their image that you have in your mind, it feels bad. Especially if the person in question is a kid and the people he held his dearest were his parents.
I never got affection from my parents, but they really helped to change my perception about humans. I wasn't an emotionless jerk to begin with, but they did sothing that slowly changed to how I'm today. Because for a kid, the most important person in their lives are their parents and feeling the void of affection from them is terrible.
Yearning for their affection but getting nothing except a cold stare and bitter tone of insatiable words felt terrible. But I don't care anymore about that since, after separating from them, I was living quite a peaceful life. They may not provide with affection, but they surely transfer money to my account at the start of every month, thanks to my sister.
My only aim is to work hard so that I won't ever have to return to that ho I despise so much. I won't live with them under the sa roof ever again. Just reminiscing about them makes feel strange. A feeling of sothing churning inside my stomach. I don't hold grudges against them though, as I'm thankful to them for making the way I'm right now.
I read sowhere that everyone can be a parent, not everyone can be a good parent. And I sohow feel that the person who wrote that line faced a situation similar to . Maybe being void of the most important affection in my life made hate love so much.
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