"Saving humanity from its flaw..."
"That is my purpose."
"I am the Servata Cordis incarnate."
1 - The Savior
[???]
“Woah...she’s amazing!”
“She morized all of that? She...she’s a genius, right?”
“Not just the assignnt, it’s like she knows the whole book by heart..”
The class was engulfed in a cloud of utter fascination, the poisonous smoke of which was inhaled by all the impressionable students. Except for one, who was the target of those amused reactions.
She spoke in a formal tone. She wore mostly dark clothes, preferring the darker variation of the usual school uniform. She had beautiful green and purple eyes, and she maintained a cold and calculated smile at all tis. She processed so much during any given instant that she’d appear zoned out, but she was perfectly aware of all of her surroundings.
“Excellent...you were, wow..pletely correct.” The teacher said, correcting her glasses. While others may have seed a little intimidated by the girl’s nature, she was enchanted with curiosity and even pride...had it not been for the fact that she was younger than all the other children in class.
“Thank you for the praise.” The girl coldly said.
“I’m surprised you’re even coming to school...” The teacher chuckled. “Geniuses like you should be put into universities as soon as possible.”
“I will be attending university, but I will do so when the appropriate ti dawns upon .” The girl said, almost interrupting her.
“Wow, that is...even your speech is supplied by that golden brain of yours...” The teacher said, now feeling a little uncomfortable, almost dwarfed. “Anyways.” She addressed the whole classroom. “Your howork will be to break the text down, outline all the grammatical structures you can recognize, and don’t forget the exercises on the back page.”
The pupils all gave different responses - so nodded with acceptance, so growled with discontent and so sighed in relief. The amount of howork was standard, and the various responses were all standardly nonstandard. Except the girl, who continued staring.
“Is there...anything you would like to ask?” The teacher awkwardly asked the girl.
“Not right now.” she replied.
“Then I suppose the class is over.” The teacher said, sitting back down by her desk. “Everyone’s free to go.”
The class erupted in chaos, every little friend group quickly coming together and planning their future course of actions. Loud , distant and unintelligible conversations flooded the classroom, and the girl heard and rembered everything. She continued staring at the teacher, as if waiting for the two of them to be alone. Had she been holding a knife, it’d look like a definitive case of first degree murder.
A while later, she finally had the chance to make her approach. She slowly and elegantly stood up and walked up to the teacher. The teacher backed away a little and almost found herself pinned against the wall, despite the child appearing harmless.
“Am I allowed to ask you a question, miss?” The girl asked.
“Uhh, s-sure...what’s your question?” The teacher asked back, sweating a little. “What the actual fuck is wrong with her? Why is she looking at like that?”
“Why does psychology exist?” The girl asked.
“Wha...uhh, so that we know what is going inside the human mind.” The teacher replied. “And so we can help people who are in emotional distress, yeah, that too.”
“Why do emotions exist?”
“That’s uhh...a much more difficult question.” The teacher said. “People have been trying to figure it out for as long as they could think.”
“If emotions cause distress, why do they exist?” The girl asked. “Why have we evolved to experience feelings that serve to our detrint?”
“I am definitely not the right person to ask that.” The teacher said, standing up. “You know, there’s a lot of different books on that topic-”
“I’ve read them all.” The girl said. “You are a teacher, correct?”
“Y-yes...”
“Based on our social statuses, you are one whose intelligence is superior to mine, correct? You are an adult, and adults are more intelligent than children, correct?”
“Yes, but-”
“Then tell , why do people feel things?”
To the teacher’s delight, a knock was heard on the door. She quickly rushed over to open it, being confronted with the sight of two older n in suits, they looked like they had been waiting for this mont for quite so ti.
“Uhh, hello? Can I help you?”
“I was told that she is in this classroom.” One of the n said. “We are from the state university.”
“Who are you looking for exactly?” The teacher asked. She thought they were here to reward her for one of her studies, so she tried to suppress her inner excitent. But that theory would soon crumble.
“We’re here for the genius girl, Alma Alekna.” The man said. Alma, who hadn’t moved a muscle, turned to face them.
“I am delighted to et you.” She said, bowing her head a little. “May I be of your assistance?”
“We are here to discuss your further studies at a higher level.” The man said.
“Very well!” Alma said, approaching the n with excitent. “Does your university have a psychology program?”
“Psychology?” One of the n panicked a little. “I’m sorry but, don’t you think you would be more useful in another field? Like engineering or science studies, for example?”
“I must refuse to participate in such programs.” Alma smiled. “ I will progress through the educational system at the pace intended for the average student. I am more drawn to exploring the human mind.”
“And its many, many flaws...”
[2012]
“Psychology? Hey...that’s why you were in the sa lecture as ! We share the sa course!” The girl with slightly ruffled and dark green-ish hair asked, sitting next to Alma. “But couldn’t you go to like, I don’t know, engineering or science studies for example? What’s the point of wasting your brains here?”
The cafeteria was packed, and the two shared a two-spot table. Alma chose to sit there, despite being invited to eat at various other tables by various other high-profile students. At the state university, all the buzz was about her - a genius student that carved her own path, a human whose brain was supposedly as strong as a supercomputer.
“Do you not find the human condition fascinating?” Alma asked.
“Dunno, honestly. I picked psychology because it was the only program that had slots available.” Daina said, picking at her plate of stew. While she was rampaging through her food, Alma’s plate looked perfectly clean. Her etiquette was infuriatingly perfect. “You’re impressed by...the human condition? What are you, a big-shot philosopher?”
“I am not excited by the human condition.” Alma said, her usual smile devolving into a light frown. “I am disgusted by it.”
“Say what now?” Daina asked, almost spitting her drink out.
“I am deeply disgusted by it.” Alma said. “It is a perfect species made pathetic by a phenonon that distances us from the natural order.”
“What?” Daina asked again, much angrier. “Humans are aweso! They do all kinds of cool stuff, like, they build rockets and go to the moon, they make ships and go into the ocean...”
“And they murder each other for the sake of pleasure. They waste ti on things that only serve to their detrint.” Alma said, slowly dropping her fork. “It is utterly disgusting.”
“I an, yeah, bad people exist.” Daina said, standing up. “But good people exist too!”
“Good is deed as kindness and praised so that evil is looked down upon.” Alma remained seated. “The praise is but a way to make our minds addicted to the feeling of approval and validation. It is a preventative asure to mask the true nature of a human being.”
“Alright, you’re freaking out, we’re late for class.” Daina put her hand on her shoulder. “Did you do the howork?”
“Yes, I have completed the assignnts.” Alma said, slowly standing up.
“Well, let copy them!” Daina said. “Co on, we shared such a wonderful lunch together! You gotta help a fellow student out!”
“That behavior goes against the establishnt’s rules.” Alma said.
“Co one, nobody’s gonna tattle!” Daina said. “Just let copy your assignnt.”
“Why have you not completed it yourself?” Alma asked, turning her glare towards her. Her smile had long dissipated. “You chose to miss it as per a decision you made, correct? You exercised your free will, correct?”
“Look, I went to a party, alright? Stop making everything so deep!” Daina said, starting to lose her temper. She was starting to beco the centre of attention. “I have been planning to go there since the start of the month. What the hell is your problem?”
“Your utterly deplorable sloth should not be of my concern.” Alma coldly said, standing up and preparing to walk away.
“The fuck is that supposed to an?!” Daina got upset, pushing Alma back a little. Alma accidentally tripped on the edge of one of the chairs and fell down on her back. Daina took a few steps back, holding her hands by her mouth in surprise. This really wasn’t her intention, even her short temper couldn’t excuse this.
“I’m...I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d-”
“This interaction...” Alma said.
“...what?”
“Your reaction. Your reasoning. Your explanation for your mistake. Your attempt to justify it. Your anger. Your hatred towards my statent.” Alma said. “Your realization. Your confusion.”
“What are you talking about?” Daina asked, and she slowly backed away. After taking a few steps, she sprinted away from the cafeteria altogether.
...
Soon, no one was to be left in the lecture hall except for two students, and the sunset’s beautiful orange light showered the large room, piercing through the tall windows. One of them had received yet another perfect grade, and the other one was on the verge of absolute failure. As it was just them left there, alone, Alma made a sudden move.
“Daina, how have your grades been?” Alma asked, rapidly and unexpectedly approaching her.
“W-what?” Daina answered, confused. She didn’t anticipate her initiation in dialogue, especially after their altercation earlier. “Why are you asking?” She asked, as if getting defensive.
“Curiosity.” Alma said. “Please do not permit our earlier disagreent to hinder our communication.”
“Is this her way of saying sorry?” Daina thought, and after a few awkward glances around, spoke up.
“Well, uhh...I’m really close to failing.” She complained. “I had to copy my howork from soone else, and they can only make it so good. You know, if only I had so genius who aced every single task at my disposal.” She sarcastically added.
“You should have learnt by yourself.” Alma said. “Your lack of preparation is your fault.”
“It is what it is.” Daina shrugged. “Anyways, I’m going to a party later tonight. The guy I’ve been talking to recently was invited there. I hope I can get drunk with him, honestly...”
“Do you aim to intoxicate yourself for pleasure?”
“You an drink? I guess, yeah...like I said, I wanna-”
“Do you intend to perform sexual acts on that person? Does he have any romantic significance to you?” Alma asked, getting a little uncomfortably close.
“You’re freaking out again...” Daina said, backing away a little. “I’m sorry, but...I gotta go. I gotta get ready.”
“You intend to hinder your academic performance due to romantic feelings?”
“I gotta go.” Daina restated, turning around and aiming to walk away. But she felt sothing grab her hand.
“Wait.” Alma said. Her voice, for the first ti in a while, sounded like it was in need of sothing. That tone, subconsciously, was intercepted by Daina. She turned around in surprise.
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“What?” Daina asked, unsuspecting. “Do you...wanna go with ?”
“You are failing your classes, correct?” Alma asked. “I can assist you with that. In exchange, you could do sothing for . I believe that way, we would both benefit from each other.”
“I an, as long as it's not anything weird or illegal...” Daina hesitated.
“The premise is simple.” Alma said. She reached for her bag and got a black book with a solid cover. “I will give you this book. In it, you will write about your experiences, of course, those which you are willing to share with . And most importantly, you will describe what emotions you felt during those experiences.”
“You...want to lead a diary for you?” Daina chuckled. “Sorry, but...are you for real?”
“There is no lie in what I told you.” Aizawa’s smile grew a little.
“I kinda need the grades. I don’t wanna have to repeat the year again...” Daina pondered, shortly before replying. “Sure, I guess. I’ll play your ga as long as you save my academics.”
“I am delighted to hear that.” Alma said. “I believe this mutual benefit serves as a good foundation for what is referred to as a ‘relationship’.”
“Huh, well..relationships aren’t based on mutual benefit.” Daina said. “Sorry to burst your bubble. People just...like each other.”
“How co?”
“Well, they just do.” Daina said. “You kinda just...like soone, or you don’t-”
“Why does one have a preference in humans? Are we not all humans?”
“What are you, a peace activist?” Daina asked, starting to get annoyed. “Do you ask those questions all the ti? You just...like people, or you don’t. That’s how human relationships work.”
“What is the explanation behind that?” Alma asked.
“I...I can’t. I can’t do this.” Daina said. “Nope, my brain is too small. Jeez...were you like this as a kid too?”
“I have not changed.”
“And what did your parents think about your questions?”
“I do not rember them quite well. I have lived in school dormitories due to their alcohol abuse.” Alma said. “I do not wish to entangle myself with the likes of them.”
“She’s a total fucking nutjob...” Daina thought. “Well, they say most geniuses are a little crazy.”
“Oh well...I need those grades. Grades are grades.”
“Fine then, starting today, I’ll do this...thing...” Daina said, hesitantly picking up the book and observing it as if it were a lost artifact. And just like that, a prodigy second to none befriended one of the biggest bums on the campus...
“Dear...diary, or book, or whatever this thing is...”
“Today I went to a party. Well, it felt pretty average, to be honest. The guy I went there to see was sick that day, so I didn’t even get to fulfil my main goal. But the other guys and girls there were cool so idk I didn’t really mind it at all. As for what I felt, well, I kinda threw up a little bit after I got ho but my aunt was there and she made pancakes which was really cool. I felt a little lonely at first, but once I took a few shots, I felt joyful and extroverted...and uhh...yeah that’s pretty much it. Send the howork via email, ok? And don’t be late.”
“Today I went to the mall with my mom and we bought so clothes. I felt pretty chill, my mom is strict but she cares about . She bought a really pretty top and a pair of jeans. I liked the top but we had to argue a little bit over the jeans. We then got so food. I felt pretty content, and I felt happy that and mom were spending quality ti together. P.S. thanks for the howork but please make so mistakes, or the prof is gonna catch !”
“Ugh, today was a pretty bad day. My mom and dad got into an argunt again and my mom broke one of the plates, it was one I really liked too. Dad often cos ho really late and mom complains that he’s overworking himself. It’s annoying when it happens but it’s not all too bad, I guess...this version of the howork is much better, prof is surprised.”
“Nothing happened today. Prof asked a few questions and I couldn’t answer, he thinks I’m cheating...fuck, what should I do? Oh right you wanted feelings...I feel scared, I feel a little confused and anxious. I should probably try taking so sort of sedative to calm myself down. Gonna beco a junkie lol...I’m joking, but a little sothing wouldn’t hurt.”
“Today was a pretty bad day. My mom caught hiding so light sedatives. So basically one of my friends has anxiety issues and she’s prescribed those types of stuff. I asked her to give so since you need a prescription to buy it. But yeah, she saw it, and she yelled at . My dad got sad because he thinks it’s his fault that I’m apparently depressed...which I’m not? I’m just stressed at school. Prof skipped the class, so I’m chilling, but I better study for the next class...”
“Today I was invited to another party!!! I love it so much I love it. I love it. I, so, uhm...I feel happy, really happy, excited, and also a little scared because there’s gonna be a lot of people there, so probably out of my league haha. But yeah, I feel excited. Looking forward to the party! P.S. how the fuck are you not dead after doing so much howork? Do you just skim thru it and write everything?!”
“We communicate mostly through entries.”
“Today I saw a cat outside and it was really pretty!!! That’s all I rember lol, sorry. I felt excited when I saw the cat but also kinda sad because it looked like it was a street cat. I rember the first ti I saw a dead cat outside and I cried so much...”
“Every day, during a shared break, she gives the book and I read its latest entry before giving it back to her.”
“Today, everything went to shit. Legit. Just...shit. Everything went to shit. My mom asked to see my grades and when I told her I’m doing good, she didn’t believe ...tbh I was cheating, but still...and yeah, we had another argunt. My dad also told that he thought I had bad grades because of my ntal health. In the end I said that I made friends with you, and that I helped you make friends in exchange for you helping with my grades. I think they were disappointed...”
“The more I read them...”
“Two days until the party...I think my parents are mad at . It’s like, you know, they’re mad at but not really, but I just know they are. Giving the silent treatnt and all that, they almost started speaking like you. I feel excited but I also feel a bit guilty since I think I made them really angry.”
“The more I realize...”
“I fucked up big ti. I really, really, really fucked up big ti. The prof caught cheating during a test, and issued a strict warning. On top of that, my parents found my stash of anxiety ds and they kicked out of the house...I only took like, two per day, and I felt happier, okay?! And they kicked out because they thought I was in the drug trade, they thought I was supplying people with drugs and that’s how I really got help with my academics. I'm staying over at a friend’s house and I’m probably not gonna move back. I feel betrayed. At least there’s a party tomorrow, I can blow off so steam, maybe I’ll feel better if I get so good dick...”
“How tragic her condition is.”
“Hey, you're coming with tonight, right?” Daina asked as the two finished their exchange. “You might as well, you know? I wouldn’t want to be alone, besides, so people might want to talk to you.”
“Why would I?” Alma asked. “I have no interest in partying or satisfactions of that sort.”
“Oh...well, what do you even do for fun?”
“What’s the point of wasting ti on temporary hits of dopamine?” Alma asked. “The purpose of dopamine is to reward tasks that are biologically beneficial. Manipulating dopamine is dangerous and foolish.”
“You know, it’s not about the fun, or about anything...” Daina said. They were walking across a hallway, but that sudden statent followed Daina stopping her friend. “We’re friends, right? I an, you know so much about . And yet, you never made an effort to, I don’t know, comfort , or hang out with ...”
“Friends?” Alma asked. “We stayed true to our agreent. We have a relationship.”
“It’s not about an agreent, you know? A friend is...supposed to be there!” Daina began lashing out. Her mood was already pretty bad.
“We were never friends.” Alma said. “We had an agreent, we are loyal to it. I am not obliged to emotionally comfort you and shield you from feelings which are of your own fault.”
“You...”
“You chasing after your own feelings is not my fault. It is, however, to my benefit.” Alma explained, so casually it almost seed uncanny. “I am learning a lot from you. Thank you.”
“You sick bitch!” Daina yelled, slapping Alma across the face. The hallway froze, everyone was staring them down. Alma didn’t reply, she retained her cold smile and her screaming loud silence. She simply turned around and walked away.
“An outburst of anger and personal hatred directed at . She effectively eliminated her source of passing grades and destroyed a powerful partnership because of her own foolishness.”
“She chose to cause bodily harm to satisfy her hatred.”
“Daina, I hope you have fun at the party of yours.” Alma said at a distance. Daina heard it, and turned around, but all she saw was Alma’s back in the distance. “Our contract has been terminated due to dissatisfactory results on your behalf.”
[2022; 10 DAYS AFTER THE FIRST GLOBAL SOUL EVENT]
A knock was heard on the door of a rather empty house.
That night, the moon was pretty. The moonlight blessed everyone with no hesitation. She calmly waited, and knocked on the door again.
“Co in...” she heard a tired scream from the inside. She gently pushed on the amber doorknob and entered the ssy house. Slowly, she made her way towards a direction from which she could sense sothing.
She walked through the house, there were piles of trash in various places, the house felt cold, the only place lit up was the kitchen where that weak and fragile presence was. She calmly walked towards it, and once she entered it, the owner of the house was...shocked.
“It’s...you.” Daina said, a bit surprised. “Alma, was it?”
“I go by the na ‘Aizawa’ now.” Aizawa said. “A lot has changed in my life, and surprisingly, I have not changed at all.”
Daina sat by the kitchen table, with a dark green bottle of wine and a half-empty wine glass next to her. She seed not only older, but also more tired. She put on a little weight, she started wearing optic glasses, and she looked tired and a little high.
“How did you find ?” Daina asked. “And why are you even visiting ?”
“Curiosity.” Aizawa smiled.
“Your face hasn’t changed either.” Daina said. “Are you here to get to start writing in that stupid book of yours again? Or are you gonna reveal yourself to be a secret millionaire?”
“Neither option is correct.” Aizawa said. Her presence flared up a little, and Daina, who was a dormant soul that wasn’t used to experiencing the presence of powerful soulfuls, was imdiately intimidated.
“What the hell? What...what are you doing?!” Daina asked in almost horror, as Aizawa increased her presence more and more. “Are you...one of those superhuman freaks that they talk about on the internet?!”
“Daina, what happened?” Aizawa asked, lowering her presence so as to not scare her away too much.
“What do you think happened? Life happened.” Daina said. “The last ti we talked...it was before that one party, right? Well, I went there, got drunk, got fucked by so random guy. Ended up getting pregnant with his kid, but he chose to stick around. Ended up marrying him. And then, years later, my drinking got worse and he filed for divorce. As you can see, he has the kid now.”
“And why do you think that happened?” Aizawa asked.
“There you are, with your fucking questions again.” Daina said. “You didn’t visit because you missed your friend or anything, you just want to make fun of . You want to rub it in that I’m miserable, that you’re better.”
“I simply want to research you. See, I have spent the last ten years of my life researching people.” Aizawa explained. “I wanted to prove myself wrong about so of my beliefs.”
“You still haven’t grown out of it, have you?” Daina asked, sounding more and more frustrated by the second. “You’re like a...a...a soulless husk. You’re like a machine.”
“Daina, let’s chat, okay?” Aizawa asked her with a smile. “What happened? Why did you start drinking? Why did you divorce your husband? Why did you end up here, alone, drinking wine on a random night?”
“Shut the fuck up...” Daina said, leaning her head on her elbows. “Get out of my house.”
“Daina, all the choices you made, you made them yourself, correct?” Aizawa asked. “You exercised your free will, and you made decisions, and because of that you failed as a human.”
“I was drunk...” Daina murmured.
“You chose to start drinking, right?” Aizawa asked. “You chose to drink. You also chose to take anxiety dications despite lacking a prescription. You also chose to not address your drinking problem and that resulted in you failing both as a wife...and as a mother.”
“Shut the fuck up!” Daina yelled. She stood up, grabbed the wine bottle and smashed it against Aizawa’s head. But Aizawa didn’t move an inch. She stood there, completely still. Daina took a few steps back, tumbling on the chair and falling on her back.
“If you had another chance, would you change things?” Aizawa asked.
“No...what the fuck, no...I’m hallucinating. I’m fucking hallucinating.” Daina hyperventilated, almost paralyzed on the ground. Aizawa saw that and increased her presence again.
“If you had another chance, would you change things?” Aizawa asked again.
“Get out...get out you devil!” Daina yelled. Aizawa’s green and purple eyes started shining a little. “Please...get...get out...”
“If you had another chance, would you change things?” Aizawa asked one more ti. This ti, her question was followed by a rather long silence.
“Yes...”
“You are wrong. You are incapable of doing that.” Aizawa said. “If you tried again, you would spiral into a predicant like your current one. Again, and again, and again.”
“Why are you here...” Daina quietly whimpered. “Did you co here to just...berate like I’m so fucking garbage?”
“You are not garbage. You are a human.” Aizawa said. “You are a prisoner of your own free will.”
“...”
“You, and billions of other people.” Aizawa said, gently putting her hand on Daina’s cheek and caressing it. Daina started slowly crying. “You destroy your lives over things you chose. You destroy each other with those choices.”
“I don’t get it...” She said, continuing to sob. “Are you...in a cult now...”
“I am not part of any cult.” Aizawa reassuringly said.
“Then...why are you here...”
“Because I trust you, Daina.” Aizawa said. “I trust you to be a perfect candidate for satisfying my curiosity.”
“...?” Diana looked up at her. Aizawa’s face was lit by the kitchen lights. A few seconds later, the lights were out. A power outage took place.
Aizawa slowly moved her head to Daina’s forehead.
“You described your experiences wonderfully.” Aizawa explained. “However, there were lies. There was ti to think. There was ti to compile. That won’t do.”
“You an...the book?” Daina said, sounding defeated and also...scared. With no light around, Aizawa looked...
“Daina, I can make you happy.” Aizawa said.
“You...can?” Daina asked. “I don’t even know what’s happening to right now. I’m scared...”
“I will give you your sense of happiness, and in exchange, you will give your rawest emotions.” Aizawa explained. “It will be a mutually beneficial exchange. Just like back then.”
“You really can make ...happy?”
“I can.”
“How?”
“By removing your sad self.”
“What do you an?”
“By removing the part of you that is sad.”
“Yeah, but...how?”
“I can erase your mories.” Aizawa said. “I can erase them and replace them with anything you’d wish for. They will act as a source of as much happiness as you want.”
“That sounds...”
“Exciting for you, correct?” Aizawa tried to convince her.
“No, it sounds...fucked up...” Daina said. “First of all, I don’t trust you at all. I don’t want you going through my head. Secondly, you’re gonna remove who I am, right?”
“...”
“Like, for example, my mom...I have bad mories with her, I have her shouting at , but...she’s also really kind. Strict, but kind. We did all sorts of fun things together, especially when I was little. Or my dad, he hit my mom once when he had a breakdown, but they made up, and aside from that mistake he’s been really supportive and worried for ...”
“Is that so...?”
“Even my ex husband. He was a really supportive guy, I thought he was a player but he turned out to be loyal...I understand why he wanted to keep our kid away from . We divorced a month ago, so maybe, just maybe, if I go into rehab and make things up with him, we’ll be a happy family again...” Daina explained, her face looking more and more comfortable.
“Is that the route that you choose?” Aizawa asked.
“What’s the point of living if you can just forget about everything and beco basically soone else?” Daina asked back. “You’re supposed to cherish those mories, learn from them and stuff...”
“I see.” Aizawa sighed.
“I don’t want you to do anything to .” Daina said. “But...thank you for having this conversation with . You’re a bit scary, but...you helped get those feelings out. Maybe it’s not too late to bounce back-”
“Since when did you assu I was going to negotiate with you?”
Aizawa pressed her palm on Daina’s forehead.
“mory Extraction.”
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