I kept staring at the picture, too numb to form a clear thought.
In the picture, three people stood shoulder to shoulder. Soren was on the far left, and all the way to the right was a man, slightly older than Soren, but they looked very much alike.
Between the two handso n was a woman—a stunning beauty. She had reddish, wavy hair and a sweet, tender smile. There was sothing in her posture that showed how soft and gentle she was.
The other man had his arm around her waist and I could tell the two of them were a couple. Probably married if the engagent ring on her finger was any indication.
I couldn’t stop staring at Soren, though. He was young, and just as handso and gorgeous as ever, however, he wasn’t smiling into the cara like the other two were. It looked like at the last minute, he shifted his eyes to gaze directly at the woman.
I could never forget that gaze in his eyes.
He loved her. His love was deep, affectionate and intense. It couldn’t even be masked in a picture.
And there was a scarf around Soren’s neck.
Was that the scarf that Madam Scarlett had told about? My instinct told that the scarf was a gift from the woman in the picture. It had to be. No wonder he was so upset when he lost it.
I wasn’t surprised that Soren had a romantic past. In fact, I’d suspected it based on so of the things he said about won and not spending a lot of ti with them.
My breath caught and my chest felt like soone was standing on it.
I could barely breathe as I stared at the woman in the picture, my eyes darting over to see how Soren was looking at her.
Just a quick glance was enough to see that the woman looked like ... or rather, I resembled her. We had the sa wavy reddish brown hair, fair skin tone, and even similar body styles. Looking at her, was like looking at myself.
My cheeks burned suddenly and I slamd the shirts on top of the picture. Humiliated and angry, I slamd the drawer shut. How could he do that to !?
My heart cracked. I pressed my hands over my chest, trying to hold my heart in place to prevent it from falling out on the floor.
It all made sense now!
The way Soren looked at and it sotis felt like he was looking for soone else or looking at soone else. It wasn’t he was looking for, it was the woman in the picture!
It explained why he treated differently than other won. So many of his friends kept asking him why I was special and why he couldn’t just let go. He had made it clear he didn’t pursue long-term relationships with won.
He probably rarely spent more than a night with one.
But he kept tracking down, kept wanting to see safe, and insisted on helping . He couldn’t leave alone because I was just a substitute for him. I was his chance to live the dream of the one who got away!
Tears sprang to my eyes and I shook my head. Last night had been amazing, but now, I woken up into a nightmare.
My knees trembled and I stumbled to the bed, leaning against the bedpost. I thought I’d fall on the floor if I didn’t hold myself up.
The answers to all my questions... They were buried in the dresser drawer just inches from his bed and where he slept every night. I’d been curious to know the answers, I snooped, and now I was paying the price.
I was nothing more than a substitute!
I pressed my palm to my forehead and shook my head, trying to shake the tears away. Sniffling slightly, I wrapped my other arm around my waist, trying to hold my insides together.
My heart was breaking. My entire body was breaking.
I was foolish to think that I was special to him. What reason would a man like Soren ever have to even look my way let alone treat differently?
He could have any woman he wanted. They threw themselves at him all the ti. And they were practically lined up outside his door ready to offer themselves to him. But I knew he’d been single for years.
And that was because he was still hung up on soone else!
I was just starting to think that maybe his special treatnt of was because he had feelings for . I knew it was a long shot but... I’d fallen into the dream. I thought that he liked as a companion or perhaps... maybe even loved ...
But no, it had nothing to do with . It all had to do with that woman. His one, true love.
I bowed my head and blinked, a few of my tears slipping down my cheeks.
I’d given Soren a scarf. It was supposed to be a thoughtful gift. Soren had really seed to like it.
He’d been genuinely surprised but he’d also been really happy. I was starting to think that wasn’t because he truly liked the scarf. It was because I was unknowingly imitating his past love.
The surprise had probably been due to unhappiness that I had done the sa thing she did. It was just a reminder that I wasn’t her... and he wouldn’t want acting like her. Mimicking her would be painful, wouldn’t it...?
I was so stupid!
Now that I was thinking about it, I couldn’t stop. My mind started breaking down every single interaction I’d had with Soren and I just couldn’t stop!
When Soren had asked to stay with him, he didn’t want . He wanted soone that reminded him of the woman he loved. He wanted to keep with him so he didn’t have to think about losing her and I could distract him from the loss of the woman he really wanted.
Taking a deep breath, I blinked the tears away and I shook off the humiliation and embarrassnt.
My heart might be broken but I wasn’t going to let Soren treat like that. I refused to be a substitute for soone that he couldn’t have.
Should I wait and confront Soren about the photo? Should I ask him what it ant in relation to ? What if I was jumping to conclusions?
But what if I stayed and Soren confird what I already knew? My heart wouldn’t be able to take it.
Besides, what could Soren say? He wouldn’t lie to , of course. He might try to evade answering my questions, like he always did, but a man like Soren wouldn’t tell any flat out lies.
He could tell what I already knew was true. Then he would just ask what I would want to do and he’d support , whatever I decided to do. He’d be respectful... unless I chose to leave. Then he’d follow , like always.
I couldn’t give him the chance to try and stop from leaving.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave but what choice did I have? If I stayed here, I’d be humiliated further, especially knowing that I was a substitute. If I stayed, I’d be letting Soren use .
My heart ached again.
I really loved Soren. This wouldn’t hurt this much if I didn’t. I’d known I had strong feelings for a while and that I was falling for him but now I knew the depth of my feelings.
If Soren was soone random, soone I didn’t care about so much, then I could trade being a substitute for protection. But this was Soren! He was the man I loved... the only man I’d ever loved.
A shudder ran through as I thought of the loving gaze that Soren gave the other woman in that photo. My heart cringed and I hugged myself.
This was unbearable!
I had to forget about everything that happened last night. It was aningless. An old fantasy Soren needed to fulfill. I wasn’t going to hang around to find out what fantasy he wanted to fulfill next.
Jumping up, I headed back to my room before Soren returned with breakfast. I imdiately grabbed my backpack and started throwing my few belongings into it. I ignored the dresses that Soren got .
They were nice but I wasn’t bringing any souvenirs with that would remind of Soren or this place.
While I stuffed things in my backpack, I caught sight of my reflection in the dresser mirror. My long hair, so much like hers, bounced around, waving pleasantly around my face.
Sighing, I grabbed an old pair of scissors on the dresser and I grabbed fistfuls of my hair. Quickly, I hacked off big chunks of my hair and threw them on the floor. I only spent a few minutes evening out the ends and then I ran my fingers through my short hair.
I couldn’t change the color right now but at least, I looked different.
Smirking at my reflection, I nodded to myself. I was satisfied that I looked different enough from that other woman.
It wasn’t like we even looked similar enough to be related. Our differences were more than our similarities but it was enough to draw Soren to . And because of that, I just wanted to look different.
Soren used to tell that I was beautiful when I smiled. That was ironic, seeing as the other woman had such a sweet, gentle smile. That’s why he liked my smile... because it conveyed the sa gentleness and sweetness she had.
I glared at my own reflection, my eyes turning cold. If I could look at Soren now, he’d feel the icy glare I’d shoot at him. But I didn’t want to see him again. I didn’t want to give him a chance to explain because I loved him so much that I might actually believe him.
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out a small vial. It was the last antidote dose for the Blackfire poison. An antidote Soren had gone to great lengths to get for .
Had that all been a scam? It had to have been. When he looked at , he saw her. Now it made sense as to why he would put himself in danger to save . In his mind, he was saving the woman he loved... the real woman he loved.
Scoffing, I set the antidote on the dresser beside the clumps of my hair. Soren could find it and make whatever he wanted to out of it.
Turning on my heel, I left the room.
It was early enough in the morning that the inn was quiet. Soren didn’t have people watching out for anymore, either. Getting through the inn unnoticed and unseen was too easy.
Maybe it was wrong for not to give Soren a chance to explain himself but he had had all the chances in the world to co clean.
I’d asked him a million tis why he was so nice to and why he was always helping . He could have told the truth any one of the tis I’d asked. If he hadn’t told already, then he was never going to.
I left the inn and the rogue zone. At least, Soren wouldn’t be in danger anymore because he wasn’t my beloved.
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