*Lena*
“I am coming back,” he said, his voice a whisper.
I swallowed, nodding my head and looking down at the ground.
“Lena.”
“Yeah?” I looked up at him, unable to stop the tears from welling in my eyes. One tear spilled over and trailed down my cheek.
Xander stepped toward , then knelt before . He reached up and used his thumb to wipe the tear from my cheek. “This isn’t forever. I’ll co back for you.”
“We’ve said that to each other so many tis–”
“And this is the last ti, I promise.” He took my hands in his, knitting his fingers around mine. “I promise.”
“What–”
“I don’t know what we’re going to do, or where we’re going to live. But I need to return to Egoren to find that out. It’s going to be okay. We made it through this. We can make it through anything.”
He rose on his knees and wrapped his arms around . I knew it hurt him to do so; I could feel the way his muscles strained and then trembled around .
“Xander,” I said into his shoulder. I could feel the welts beneath his shirt as I ran my hands down his back. “You’re hurting–”
“I’m fine,” he replied, one of his hands running up the length of my back and into my hair, which was tousled from sleep. He pulled my head back so I was looking into his eyes. They darkened, a flash of need passing behind them that set a fire burning through my stomach.
He kissed gently at first, his lips brushing against mine.
“I can give you my blood,” I whispered against his lips.
“I need a lot more of you than that,” he growled, and I felt my body go limp in his arms. His tongue parted my lips, tangling with mine as his grip on my body strengthened. He pulled into him, almost pulling off of the cot in the process.
Primal desire took over. I couldn’t rember the last ti we were truly alone together. He had out of my clothes before I could blink, and then he rose to his full height to shed his own.
But my breath caught painfully in my throat as my eye focused on a jagged scar that stretched across his shoulder.
His mark was... gone.
“Xander,” I cried, reaching up to touch the barely healed wound, but he grabbed my wrist, stopping .
“It doesn’t matter–”
“It matters!” I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks again. Oh, Goddess... my heart was shattering in my chest as I took in the scars that roped around his chest, his arms, and his neck. He’d been ripped apart. My hands trembled as I laid them against his belly where the muscles were taut but marred by healed bite marks.
He’d heal; I knew that much. But these scars would be there forever, a constant reminder of what had happened to both of us.
“You can mark again,” he breathed as I trailed my fingertips over his skin. “I want you to. I need you to do that for , Lena.”
“I don’t want to hurt you again, not after what–what they did to you–”
“You can’t hurt ,” he said, dropping to his knees.
“Xander, I can’t, not when you’re still healing–”
He kissed again, hard, his lips bruising my own as he gathered my hair in his hand at the nape of my neck and pulled so I was looking up at him.
“You’re my mate,” he rasped. “I want your mark on my body.”
Desire ripped through , clouding my judgnt. I didn’t want to cause him any more pain. But...
He pushed back against the cot, which groaned beneath our weight. It wasn’t ant for two people, but Xander didn’t seem to care that it was likely splintering beneath us. He ran his hands down the curve of my hips and thighs, cupping my ass as he pulled closer.
My body was burning with heat, and my core was begging to be touched. I rocked my hips against his, a barely audible plea escaping my lips in a moan.
He kissed again and again, his lips traveling down my neck and across my collarbone, over the mark he’d left on my chest.
He nudged my legs apart and ran a finger through my slit, testing . I was already drenched, and a raspy grunt of approval was all I heard before Xander ran his tongue over one of my nipples. I sucked in my breath and arched my back, crying out as the sensation of his fingers and his mouth brought so close to the edge that I almost went over.
“Not yet,” he whispered against my skin.
I moaned his na and bit my lower lip as he pulled away.
“Mark ,” he whispered against my cheek as he positioned himself between my legs.
I cried out as he entered in one long, swift thrust. My mind was a blur of conflicting emotions, but my body was pleading for release and willing to do anything to achieve it.
He was holding himself off the cot with one hand while his other hand explored my body, teasing in all the right places. He knitted that free hand in mine and pinned our hands above my head, dipping his head down to kiss my neck.
I tried to focus. I tried to keep my mind clear and let my body take control. But my heart was hamring so rapidly in my chest that I found it hard to take a breath.
He’d be gone again, and it was probably the longest ti we’d spend apart.
I clutched his arm with my free hand, pulling him closer so more of his weight was sheltering . More of him, I needed more of him. All of him.
“Lena,” he rasped, panting as he t my eye.
I slid over the edge into a mind-numbing climax that took my breath away, and I shuttered beneath him.
His thrust picked up speed, desperation lining his face as he closed his eyes and moaned low in his throat. “Fuck,” he growled between his teeth, pressing his forehead against mine.
I moved my head to the side, resting my chin against his shoulder as he ca. A tear rolled down my cheek as I kissed his shoulder, my lips brushing against his skin, then my teeth.
***
I caught a glimpse of the mark I’d left on Xander’s shoulder before he pulled a sweater over his head. Moonlight drifted through the small holes in the roof of the tent, illuminating the red half-moon mark that looked nearly identical to the first mark I’d left on him.
“I might be the first man to have been marked twice by the sa woman,” he said lightly as he sat down on the cot, smiling softly at . I matched his smile as I gathered a thin, worn-out blanket to my chest. “Here I–I have a shirt you can wear.”
He bent down and grabbed a long-sleeve shirt from his duffle bag, one he’d packed away for his journey. I didn’t object. It slled like him, and that itself was a small comfort. I could hear the sound of warriors waking up all around us even though the sky was still dark. Xander checked his watch, and sighed, his eyes settling on mine.
“I have to go soon,” he whispered, the words cutting through like a knife.
“I know,” I replied, swallowing against the lump in my throat. My cheeks were already stained with tears, but I refused to cry again, not now. I could be a blubbering ss later, maybe even in the comfort of my own bed in Mirage.
I wouldn’t waste my final monts with Xander, at least for a long while, feeling sorry for myself.
He crawled over to and gathered to his chest. He laid us down, my body pressed into his as he drew slow circles over the side of the swell of my belly. He’d already promised he’d be back in ti for her birth. I was holding him to that promise. That was sothing I couldn’t do on my own.
“Go to sleep,” he whispered.
I chuckled at the demand, but my eyelashes fluttered against his shirt nonetheless. Fatigue was creeping up my legs as I settled against him.
“I want to see you off and say goodbye,” I protested, the words a re whisper.
“We’re not going to say goodbye. I’m sick of goodbyes.”
“ too,” I answered honestly, fighting to keep my eyes open. I looked up at him, taking in every curve of his face, counting every amber flake in his obsidian irises.
“No goodbyes,” he repeated as his fingers continued their slow dance over my belly.
“I love you,” I breathed as my eyes shut.
“I love you, too,” he replied, kissing the top of my head. He pressed his cheek against the top of my head, and his warmth and heartbeat began to lull into a deep sleep.
“I’m going to rule in Egoren with you,” I whispered, but I wasn’t sure if the words were even audible. “I’ll go ho with you when the ti is right. Alexis will grow up there....”
I fell asleep snuggled against him. Even in my dreams, I could feel him there, his arms wrapped around , one hand resting where our baby slept nestled in my belly.
I didn’t feel him go. I didn’t know that he’d lingered in the entrance of the tent for a good five minutes just looking at , his duffle bag slung over his shoulder and his hands clenched into fists. I hadn’t known how badly he wanted to stay, or how much he was willing to sacrifice for just an extra hour together, or an extra minute.
I hadn’t realized it started raining as he left the tent and walked to the port. He’d lifted his face to the rain, letting the chilled bite of the droplets wake him up. He’d boarded that ship filled with regret.
I hadn’t known that Abigail had approached him, her eyes glimring with emotion as she asked him how I was. She’d wanted to co see , but Adrian had told her to give so space to be with my mate. She knew she’d see again; she told Xander as much. But Xander put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into a tight hug regardless. They’d both thought they’d lost .
The ship pulled away from the port and drifted into the sunrise, all while I was lost in my dreams.
I slept soundly knowing that this was the last goodbye we’d have to experience.
And when I woke?
I was going ho.
#
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