*Theo*
I sat in my office, looking at a tall stack of files. As frustrating as it was to go through the backlog of the docunts, at least I could take a break from my father’s Beta checking on twice a day on the status of producing an heir, since he had assigned Warren with the sa task.
However, I made very little progress on the mountain of files. Despite my best efforts, my mind had been sowhere else and I really needed to get it to focus back on the work in front of .
I was just able to start reading a page when I heard a knock on my door.
“Yeah?” I called.
Jake stuck his head in the door. “Alpha, can I co in?”
I gestured for him to co in. “What’s up?”
“I’ll make it quick. I have a ssage for you.” Jake obviously had noticed the pile of files, and the look on his face told he felt bad interrupting .
The reality was, he didn’t. My productivity was basically none at this mont, but it had nothing to do with him.
He had a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.
“What’s that?” I asked him.
“Soone wanted to tell you that she’ll be waiting for you at the pavilion tonight at midnight, if you would like to see her again... away from all of the other pressures of the world.”
I took a deep breath and thought about how to respond. Obviously, he ant Ciana. I didn’t even feel the need to ask.
“Alpha?”
“I heard you.” That was all I had to say about it.
“Uhm... you do know that I an Ciana Black, right?” he asked .
I sighed. “Yeah, Jake. How stupid do you think I am?”
He grinned, and I dared him to answer that question with a harsh look. “Well, are you going to go?”
“No,” I said, trying to make sure that he couldn’t see my inner turmoil.
“Well, I think you should.” He looked in the eye.
I nodded. “Got it. Bye.”
“Alpha, can I be honest?”
“What?”
“Ciana truly cares about you...”
I lifted up my hand to stop him.
I knew what he wanted to say. However, even if I went to see her, what would it really change? Nothing.
I couldn’t keep her around , and she was still going back to her pack. It wouldn’t make any difference.
And deep down... I knew I could only push her away so many tis—I’d used up all my will power in the past few days to put distance between us.
Jake ca over to my desk and asked worriedly, “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help?”
“Actually, there is.” I handed him a stack of files. “These are all pretty simple. I think even you can handle them.”
“Alpha—”
I arched an eyebrow and asked impatiently. “Any problems?”
“Ah no,” he replied, weighing his words, “but had you read my note on top of this pile, you’ll know that I had already gone through them, and all you need to do is to sign them. I CAN forge your signature if you need to, but Beta Xavier will throw in jail and you’ll have to read those files yourself going forward.”
“....”
“Oh, there is sothing new over there.” Jake flipped through a shorter stack at the corner of my desk. “I see. These must be from this afternoon. Well, I’ll get them started.”
He took the files and left my office, thank goodness.
Imdiately, my mind went to all of the mories I had of Ciana.
My power was different now than it had been before, and controlling it was more challenging than it had been before the situation with the Moonlit Crystal.
I couldn’t guarantee her safety at this point, and I was not willing to risk hurting her when I didn’t know what was happening in my own body.
I grabbed so paperwork and started signing them robotically.
Thoughts of Ciana’s warm skin ca to mind. The way her lips were so luscious and full, how she always tasted like sweet water and mint, how her body felt beneath .
I knew it was just an imaginary world, but it had seed so real at the ti. She’d felt perfect, and every second I’d shared in bed with her was seared into my mind.
Which was precisely why I couldn’t be with her—ever again.
But would it hurt to go see her one more ti? Maybe she just wanted to tell goodbye. After all, she had told my mother that she was willing to go ho as soon as she helped with the berry.
It didn’t help that Jake ca in at least a dozen tis to advise to change my mind.
Finally every piece of paper on my desk was signed, and the sun had gone down. My mind kept oscillating between what I wanted to do and what I knew I should do.
About 11:00, there was a familiar knock on the door. I sighed and dropped my head onto my desk with a thunk. “Jake...”
He opened the door. “Hi, Alpha,” he said with a crooked grin on his face. “Sure it’s getting late. I just wanted—”
“I know!” I shouted, looking up at him. “I know! You just wanted to know if I am going to see Ciana or not!”
“Yes, that,” he began. “And—”
“Really, Jake! You’ve co by a hundred tis already! Why can’t you just mind your own business?” I continued.
“Right, I only wanted to—”
“You don’t need to make excuses. I get it. You think that I should go and see her. You’ve made your point clear.”
“That’s true, I do think you should, but I only wanted to say—”
“Fine!” I shouted, standing up from my desk. “I’ll go. Just for you! Because you’re driving insane!”
Jake stared at for a long mont before he said, “That’s great. I think you’re making the right decision. But I only ca to tell you... I’m done with these files.” He walked over to my desk then and dropped the files that he had taken from earlier onto my desk.
I could only say two words to him. “Get out.”
Jake couldn’t press down the smile on his face as he turned to head back out the door.
“Yes, Alpha,” he said over his shoulder. “But I’m glad you made up your mind to go. I really do think that it’s the right decision. She really cares about you, and I think, maybe you care about her, too.” He gave a long look but then headed out the door, closing it behind him.
I collapsed into my chair and dropped my head on the desk again. The urge to bang my forehead several tis against the wood was overwhelming, but I controlled myself.
What was I doing? I’d just told Jake I was going to go see Ciana at the pavilion. Why would I say that? I should’ve known better!
I was calm at the mont, though. I pulled open my desk drawer and found the lapel pin I’d put there earlier in the day. I clipped it on and decided to head to the pavilion.
My heart was pumped, and even the air seed more pleasant. Yes... I couldn’t lie to myself. I longed to see her so much that I couldn’t wait another mont.
But then, I felt my powers beginning to grow inside of . They were boiling up in a way that I knew was dangerous.
Fuck! Must it happen right at this mont?!
I took a deep breath and assessed the situation, however, the more I wanted to press it down, the more it seed to be out of control.
I took so slow, deep breaths and tried to rember all of the ditation skills that I had practiced over the years, but none of them seed to be working. I could feel the burn of power within my veins.
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!!
No, I couldn’t let this get out of my grip. I had to find a way to get it under control—now.
I watched as the clock ticked, 11:15, 11:30.
My heart sank more and more as it was getting closer to midnight.
11:45, 12:00...
I let out a long, desperate breath.
It was too late already. She must be gone...
In my mind’s eye, I imagined Ciana sitting there for an hour or so, waiting for , and when I didn’t show, she likely got up and left this damn place for good.
I closed my eyes hopelessly, laughing at myself, at how stupid I was behaving. I should’ve known better—I should not have hoped to see her. A monster like , I needed to stay away from her for her sake....
By the ti I finally felt sowhat normal and opened my eyes again, it was 2:00 in the morning.
I’d already missed my chance to speak with her, to see what she wanted.
To say goodbye.
With a sigh, I got up. I knew what else I could do to help calm my raging powers.
I headed to the window and took off in a sprint, I shifted midstride, letting my dark wolf run free.
In the moonlight, I let my mind go and just followed my wolf, letting him run wherever he wanted to go.
My paws carried between the evergreen trees, the scent of pine coating my lungs as I sucked in air. I splashed through a narrow creek, the crisp, cool water splashing up to wet my fur.
Leaping over a small hedge, I sent a flurry of night birds out of the trees and up into the inky blue sky. Their squawks filled the night air, but I didn’t slow to watch them flutter away as I continued to sprint through the woods.
These were the sa woods I’d run through a million tis before. I didn’t need to think or look where I was going.
All I needed to do was let my wolf run free and take wherever he wanted to go. I dodged around trees and slipped between them, never fearing running into a tree trunk because I knew these woods like they were my ho. My powers felt more under control at the mont than they had all night.
Nearly out of breath, I finally paused to assess where I had ended up running to. Ahead of , moonlight stread over the top of the building as I stood in the shadows, looking at it from a distance.
I was shocked to see that my wolf had instinctively brought to the pavilion, the exact sa place where Ciana had asked to et .
Was there any chance... that she was still here?
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