Tian decided he was fourteen. It had been a month since Martial Uncle Ku had returned, and in another month it would be Hong Liren’s birthday. To maintain orthodoxy and obeying the will of the Heavens, he could only reluctantly accept the title of Older Brother.
That the young Liren violently disagreed was more proof of her hooligan nature, entirely unsuited to being the Older Sister.
Tian stroked his nonexistent beard in precisely the sa way Brother Fu stroked his very existent beard. He felt that his father would be proud of both his virtue and his rigorous logic. Now he simply had to suppress the rebellious and establish his authority with his righteous aura. Or beatings. It depended on which of those damnable history books he was forced to read. The thought made him pause a second, and he quickly pulled out The Vermillion Word Upon The Yellow Land.
“Mmm… mmm… overco with remorse… kowtowed nine hundred and ninety nine tis… incense rose across the Central Plains like wildfire… ‘To maintain orthodoxy and obeying the will of the heavens, the newly crowned emperor reluctantly, with great pain in his heart, bore the people’s suffering as his own and exterminated all his male relatives and their descendants, confining the late emperor’s harem to the Cold Palace to practice their weaving and poetry until they perished of old age.’”
He closed the book with a decisive snap. “And if it’s good enough for the Emperor of Supre Virtue, Ancestor of Moral Clarity whatsishna, it’s probably good enough for .”
Tian carefully noted so useful sounding phrases, tidied his robe, and left the barracks. He was off to ditate at his usual spot.
Shifts at the hospital had fallen into a regular routine. Martial Uncle Ku had shone like the sun at noon, but like the noon sun, his ti passed. Auntie Wu had been right. In a war, a single achievent isn’t all that morable even if the giant bug outside the base was a very tangible reminder.
It was a not so minor rcy for Tian. He had reminders enough of the raid.
The nightmares had gotten worse. He had started slipping into waking nightmares during the day, particularly if there were sudden loud noises, or if he felt trapped in a small space. He also was getting mad, often. Even slight disrespect or, worse, aggression, sparking a consuming fury. He hadn’t yet fully lost his temper with soone, but he could tell it was going to happen, and soon.
Not wanting to spend ti facing a wall in the Depot jail, he spoke to Brother Su about it.
“Brother Su, that trick where you yell “Awaken!” and I snap out of those waking nightmares- could you teach how to do that?”
“Unfortunately, it’s one of those things you learn to do with experience. What you are currently suffering… not everyone goes through it, but it’s common. Very common. So common, in fact, that we have a half dozen different nas for it, and argue over what symptoms are, and aren’t, lumped together under a specific na.”
“That's not particularly useful, Brother Su.”
“No, it isn’t. I can recomnd a few things that can help generally, but nothing is going to cure it by themselves. Avoid alcohol and any sort of narcotic. Exercise often, though I would recomnd you stop sparring for a while and focus on body conditioning. Eat more vegetables and less at or oily food. If we were back ho, I’d say spend ti in the forest or in nature, but out here that's…”
“Not really relaxing.”
“Not so much, no.” Brother Su’s ever present smile turned wry for a mont. “When I do that… it’s not really a spell or anything, just a kind of vocal trick using a little vital energy. Anyway, when I use it, what I am using it to do is focus the listener on . It cuts through the mories and chaos and helps you find yourself. When you feel yourself slipping, rember that you are sliding into a mory. The past is gone, the future may never arrive. You only exist in the singular present mont, and in this mont, you are free. Remind yourself of that. Orient yourself in space and ti. You are here. It is now.”
Tian nodded with a sigh. It all made sense, but when the fear was on him, or the rage, orienting himself on anything rational was almost impossible. Su continued.
“Talk to your brothers about this. You can find , or Brother Wong, or especially Brother Fu if you can catch him on base. Hell, talk to that little Hong girl, or anyone on your tea circuit that you think you can trust. The more the mories are torn apart and reflected on, the weaker their power over you becos.”
“Huh. Another victory for tea.” He smiled at Brother Su, who grinned back.
“Yep. But above all, ditate.”
“Pardon?”
“ditate. I know you do almost constantly thanks to Advent of Spring, but… try to set aside so ti for ditation as the only thing you are doing. Really visualize the art. Do it a lot. Did Senior Brother Fu tell you the parable of the river washing away the rock?”
You could be reading stolen content. Head to for the genuine story.
“Yes, Brother Su.”
“It’s a really important one. I know you don’t like taphors, but you can imagine the painful mories like rocks, and ditation is the river wearing them down. Right now, they are huge, disruptive, throwing the whole river into chaos. But the water keeps on flowing, and the edges get ground down. Eventually the whole rock is ground down. The river remains.”
Tian nodded. That was clear enough.
Tian’s little broom closet cultivation chamber had beco impossibly claustrophobic. He found that cultivating in the patio area behind the hospital was much better. There was sothing comforting about having other people around while feeling alone under the brilliant blue sky.
He would start his ditation kneeling in the dirt, hands palms up on his knees. Feeling the ground beneath him, the wind around him, the sun above him. Then he would draw in a deep breath, letting the energy flow into his ridians and begin the cycle. From a seed, to a sprout, then a sapling. Slowly growing from earth to the sky.
As he grew, the qi and vital energy never stopped flowing through him. His body beca more perfect, more spiritual. The changes were slow and subtle, but his features were becoming sharper and more even. His teeth, all strong and healthy, minutely shifted to give him the perfect bite. His eyes sharpened, his ears beca more sensitive. His skin beca astonishingly soft, yet strong. Slow and subtle, but constant. He was growing.
He would end his ditation with his hands stretched into the sky, reaching towards the light. On a good day, when things went right, just at the end, he could imagine himself as the cosmic tree Brother Fu had ntioned when he gave Tian the Advent of Spring. A tree so huge, its roots plunged endlessly deep into the earth and its branches covered the sky. His brothers and sisters could live in his shade, protected from the winds and rain. Safe.
He would usually lose focus at that point. He couldn’t imagine his brothers wanting to live safe all the ti. These were people who went bandit hunting to relax.
Still. Just for a mont, he could imagine himself at the span connecting Heaven and Earth. A feeling that touched on sothing so imnse, just the shadow of it was enough to leave him breathless.
He opened his eyes, slowly releasing his cultivation and stowing the cursed dagger in his ring. There was a soft noise beside him. He glanced over. While he had been ditating, Hong Liren had turned up. It looked like she, too, was erging from cultivation.
“Didn’t know you also ditated here. Good session?” He asked.
“Pretty good. I’ll be Level Six soon. Don’t worry. I will carefully look after my little brother.” She smiled. Far too smugly for her own good, Tian felt. He thoughtfully didn’t ntion that his own cultivation pace was rocketing forward. As his body beca more spiritual, his ability to pull in, refine and retain qi improved. His coming breakthrough would no doubt be a delightful surprise for her. Then he frowned. Hong shouldn’t be progressing this fast.
“You aren’t eating any weird treasures are you? Or pills? I know you have survived eating trash before, Little Sister, but really-”
“Oh, shut up! I’m an earth-fire physique, practicing a tal body cultivation art. We are in a place with stupid amounts of earth and fire qi, which generates tal. Excessive amounts, even. What would I use drugs for?” She gave him a cranky look. Which he figured was probably fair, but decided he would be damned before he admitted it.
“And I’m running an experint.” Hong grinned slightly. “No results yet, but I’m hopeful.”
“Oh? What experint?”
“Does soone who cultivates a wood aligned art start leaking wood qi?”
Grandpa Jun started coughing and sputtering in Tian’s mind, but he had no idea why.
“I don’t think I do, but maybe?”
“So far no, but there is hope for the future.” She waved him away. “Work hard. Your wood qi will fuel my fire qi. Go. Practice. Beco fuel for the furnace.”
This ti the dreaded choking disease had reached Grandpa. Even ghosts weren’t immune. Terrifying. Tian tried to rember what physique he had. It was a dustless body, he rembered that, with lotus root ridians and python flesh. Or sothing like that at any rate. When he was tested at the sect, his two most dominant elents were wood followed by water. Which made sense, as water generated wood and lotuses rooted in ponds.
As for his body cultivation, it was a yin-yang art. Yin-yang gave birth to the five elents, and the elents ultimately returned to them. Tian figured he was well ahead there. The thought made him laugh.
“What are you laughing about?”
Tian pointed at Hong- “Earth, fire, tal.” Then he pointed at himself. “Wood, water. Yang.” He pointed back at Hong. “Yin. We are a cultivation diagram.”
Hong snorted and looked away. “Funny. And both of us are from West Town too. Feels like one of those destiny things.”
“Don’t know about destiny.”
“Who does?” She shrugged. “I have just enough ti to grab a late lunch then get over to the Discipline Squad. You?”
“Sa. Co on. I’ll buy you sothing at the ss hall.”
“The food is free in the ss hall.”
“Yes. I am broke. But I’m still buying because I am the big brother. And yet you never say thank you. Shaful. Unfilial.”
“You aren’t broke. You aren’t broke at all! You just got paid, you cheap bum. And who’s a big brother? Why haven’t I t them? They can’t be hiding behind a shorty like you.”
“No, I’m very broke. All my rewards went into this cursed dagger, which is so cursed it’s actually unusable. I would throw it away, but the curse keeps dragging it back to . I was cheated. Bullied. My kind heart taken advantage of. Probably by unfilial siblings. At this point I’m going to have to squat by the gate with a bowl, begging for alms.” Tian shook his head firmly. “See, even my shoes have holes in them.” He pulled a worn pair from his storage ring.
“The ones you are wearing, however, appear to be in perfect condition.”
“I don’t see how that is relevant.”
“Why do you even have those shoes? Is this so jungle rat tendency? Do you want to make a nest with them?”
“Rats do look cozy in their little nests, to be fair. But no, one of my brothers suggested it when I pointed out that there are no brothels or bars at the depot so I can’t use them as an excuse.” Tian looked deep into the blue sky. “These days, I think I’d like to live like an eagle, not a rat. It might be less cozy, but they have nests too.”
“Do they line them with shoes?”
“I have no idea. But since they have nearly killed at least once, I’m up for knocking over their nests a few tis to find out.”
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