Short, Light, Free Chapter 51: Has Always Been I

Chapter 51: Has Always Been I

“Do you think we have any regrets left in this life, Xiaoi?” I asked.

“No kids. Does that count?” she answered, leaning against my shoulder and fanning her palm-leaf fan.

The gentle breeze brushed past my body. Cooling.

I smiled bitterly. “Counts. Let’s just try harder in the next life.”

“Why would I still be with you if there’s a next life?” She stopped fanning herself and gave a cold smile.

“Why? Are you suffering right now?” I asked faintly.

“No, not at all. If there’s a next life, I’d still stick with you,” Xiaoi choked.

“Don’t cry. Kids or no kids, we’re fine.” I caressed her hair.

We were of the sa age, 52.

We might never have any children in this life since Xiaoi was infertile.

We were childhood sweethearts.

At five years old, I was the king among a bunch of other kids.

And Xiaoi followed her granny around, sitting on a rattan chair at a corner of the street to cool off.

I only realized later that Xiaoi was envious that I could play with the kids so carefreely.

Of course, I envied her for having a kin to look after her.

That’s right, I was raised in an orphanage.

I had no worries. All I did was run about all day with the other orphans.

I missed those days. It was a pity there’s no going back.

I rembered getting acquainted with Xiaoi in elentary school.

We beca deskmates.

It was love at first sight for .

Who would’ve thought that the girl on the rattan chair would beco my deskmate? Who would’ve thought that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together?

After school, I invited her to join our gas and because of that, she’d gotten a hard beating from her granny.

From then on, I’ve been spending ti and having fun with my childhood sweetheart.

We got married in a church after graduating from university.

We lived together in a ho that we’ve strived hard for.

Our hairs turned grey and we continued living our married life, one day at a ti.

...

No regrets, basically, except for our lack of affinity with children.

Xiaoi was 20 when she got diagnosed with a serious gynecological condition.

Irregular periods brought little inconvenience to her daily life but the major concern was infertility.

We were able to keep pets for the first two decades but they had to leave us, too.

Our biggest dog, Whitey, died when we were 37.

It took so ti for Xiaoi to recover from his death and I caught her crying in a corner many tis.

I did bring up the option of child adoption. Obviously, I was an orphan and I felt that adoption wasn’t a bad choice.

However, Xiaoi looked at it from a different angle. “What if the child has a childhood sweetheart that he will be leaving behind? Is it not possible that we might ruin a perfect couple?”

I had no argunts. Won were sensitive creatures after all.

Who would dare reason with a woman?

Years passed. There are pros to living life with just your spouse.

I retired at 63 and we realized that we weren’t able to take care of each other any longer because our bodies were weakening day by day.

I have developed short-term dentia and started forgetting my keys and other little things.

Xiaoi was worse. She would watch television and forget that she’d been cooking just a mont ago, almost resulting in a few fire ergencies.

We were getting old and there was nothing the hospital could do.

After much discussion, hiring a housekeeper seed like a decent option.

In spite of that, we were worried that the housekeeper would have ulterior motives like what Xiaoi had read on the news.

Stealing and setting the house on fire were common occurrences.

Plus, our mories were deteriorating and we wouldn’t be able to tell if things did go missing.

At last, we decided to get an agent to sell off our house.

We then deposited the three hundred thousand into our bank card.

We moved into a nursing ho and the days were quite decent.

My sa-aged neighbor wasn’t my match when it ca to chess, and Xiaoi, too, had found an old lady to spend ti with.

Because her dentia was more serious, I was in charge of our finances.

And because of my own condition, I wrote the password on the back of the card.

Good things don’t last.

In our third year, Xiaoi was sent to the hospital and was diagnosed with stomach cancer.

The cancer was already in the terminal stage. I ran about in the hospital with my bank card, lost and frantic.

Xiaoi pulled my trembling arm. “Forget it, old man. Keep the money for yourself.”

I was a ss, bawling my old eyes out.

I asked her when did she start feeling pain but she refused to answer.

She only smiled.

I asked the doctor for the best dication and instrunts but he shook his head and said that she only had a few more months to live.

I started visiting the hospital every day after she got admitted.

She was sent to the ergency room in her third week.

When I reached it, I was told to sign an acknowledgnt form but before I could do so, the surgery room light went off.

Xiaoi was gone. Gone forever.

I cried the whole night and even fainted in the hospital.

When I woke up, the doctor told that my heart wasn’t doing so well.

At night, my mind was filled with thoughts of Xiaoi. I took the dical record hung on the wall and flipped it over to write my will.

I decided to leave all my money to the nursing ho, requesting for them to purchase few more chess sets and also to renovate the public square since Xiaoi enjoyed spending her ti there.

Finishing up, I walked up to the rooftop.

All I could think of when I jumped was Xiaoi.

Life without her was unlivable.

During the plunge, I thought about the pirate ship ride we took when we were 20.

It felt similar.

...

The night was dark and the road was long.

I felt strength returning to my body and I could stand up straight again.

Many things ca back to my mind.

Many, many.

I walked forward subconsciously.

On the other side of the road was a big river.

I noticed many similar souls walking forward, all seemingly in deep thought.

There wasn’t much scenery by the river save for the red spider lilies in full bloom.

I followed the crowd and heard a strange voice.

A creature with a horse’s face shouted as he held onto an iron chain, “Don’t rush. One by one. Reincarnate and start a new life!”

Helpless, I carried on forward. The bridge was very narrow and could only fit one person at a ti.

I saw many people crowding before the bridge, Xiaoi included.

She looked very young, 18 at my guess, and extrely beautiful, just as I rembered.

I ran over to her imdiately. “Where is this, Xiaoi?”