Cosette made a lot of thinking the entire night. Her father's words last night rewired in her brain and set them correctly. Cosette had been focusing on the thought of enjoying her youth she had slowly forgotten what the real world was like.
This was a sensitive topic.
If things were just as easy as that, then those victims of such atrocities wouldn't stay silent. If it was that easy, then everyone would get justice. But the real world wasn't like that. The reality was much harsher and cruel than any nightmare.
'I was selfish,' Cosette thought as she stared at Olivia from the side of the hospital bed.
Cosette didn't attend school because she wanted to visit Olivia. She made a call yesterday to the hospital to confirm about her, so she was reassured Olivia was taken care of the entire night.
"How do you feel?" asked Cosette soothingly, while Olivia lifted her eyes.
"I don't know," Olivia breathed out with a shrug, her back against the headboard. "I don't know."
Cosette pressed her lips into a thin line. "You didn't tell your parents about it?"
"No." Olivia quickly shook her head. "I can't. Not yet. They will be devastated if they hear about it."
"Then what did you tell them last night when you cannot go ho?"
"I told them I will be staying in a friend's ho." Olivia drew a deep breath as she relaxed her stiff shoulder. "My mom and dad are both working two jobs, so… they weren't at ho that much."
"I see…"
Olivia's brows rose, staring at Cosette's figure. "What happened to you?" she asked.
"Huh?"
"I thought you will try to convince today to report to the police or to tell my parents about it. But you're not. So, I was wondering what happened to you?"
Cosette didn't answer imdiately as she assessed the curiosity and surprise in the girl's eyes. It wasn't surprising Olivia already thought that much. Olivia was smart. And to be honest, Cosette would've tried to convince her if not for her conversation with Conrad last night.
"Nothing." Cosette shrugged, lowering her eyes with a bitter smile. "It's just… I feel so hopeless."
"Hopeless? You?"
"Mhm." Cosette nodded, lifting her eyes to Olivia. "I made a lot of thinking last night, and I should apologize for saying things that might've hurt your feelings. I swear I didn't an to undermine your problems and feelings about this."
Olivia opened her mouth, only to close them again.
"I was upset," Cosette continued with a deep sigh. "I want to help. I'm angry that this happened to you. We might not know each other, but I know no one deserves to be bullied or treated like this. It makes angry, and I want to punish those who were responsible."
"But, I realized… the decision is not mine," she added under her breath, smiling bitterly at Olivia. "No matter how angry I felt when I heard your story, it is not my story. I'm just a part of the background, an extra. Whatever your action after this, it will still be yours to carry and not mine. So, I understand why you've been silent all this ti and chose to suffer alone."
Olivia swallowed the frustrating tension in her throat without looking away from Cosette. She sniffed hard, rocking her head, preparing herself to speak without her voice cracking.
"You're a good person, Cosette," she said, breathing heavily so she wouldn't cry. "It would be nice if I… transferred to Winter High instead of this school."
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?" Olivia smiled subtly. "You shouldn't be the person saying those words to . You did nothing to . In fact, you only showed kindness to . I appreciate that you were angry in my stead… it really felt nice that soone was able to express my anger since everybody else just turned a blind eye to what was happening around them. I don't bla them, though, but that doesn't an I don't feel any sort of anger towards them."
Olivia peeled her back from the backrest to hold Cosette's hand. Tears shone in Cosette's eyes and watching her hold her tears back, Olivia also bite her lip to stop herself from crying.
"I want to stay silent, Oli…" ca out Cosette's muffled voice. "... but how can I? I want to convince you to report, but at the sa ti, I cannot take it if you go through another hell because you did."
Olivia puffed her cheek as she blew air, but a drop of tears still rolled down her cheek.
"I'm scared, Cosette," she confessed. "I'm not scared of giving them hell, but I'm scared of what others will say. I'm scared of what my parents will feel if they hear their youngest was r*aped and bullied. It will destroy them."
Cosette squeezed Olivia's hand and clenched her teeth to stop herself from arguing.
"So people might think, you should go out there and teach them all a lesson. If I do, I'd be the hero. I will save countless others from experiencing the sa from those bullies. They will never hurt others again if I did. But to be honest, I don't care about others," Olivia continued, laughing in ridicule. "I know this is selfish. But I can't… let them hurt my parents."
"Putting myself out there is the sa as stabbing my parents. I'd rather keep the pain and trauma all for myself instead of implicating them." She smacked her lips as she took another deep breath, forcing a smile on her face. "Thank you, though. Really. It's nice to know you. It makes want to believe there were people out there who are still kind and nice."
Another tear rolled down Cosette's cheek. Olivia cupped her cheek and wiped Cosette's tear with her thumb.
"I'm okay," said Olivia with a reassuring smile. "I will be okay."
Cosette wasn't able to say a word to Olivia and just cried silently. She wanted to argue with Olivia or even force her to report this bullying. However, they live in reality. It would take a lifeti of guts for Olivia to co out and speak up. Not that Olivia was weak or not strong enough; it was just that she chose to spare her parents the pain she had endured.
It was stupid and Cosette wanted to yell it to her, but that was life. It wasn't always a happy ending for everyone.
And that was a hard pill to swallow.
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