Sothings not right, but I know exactly how to fix it.
Conjuring up yet another pillow, I set it down under my doggys chin just to make sure hes extra comfy, and give him a few more scritches while Im at it. Curled up on my bed with the blankets covering his head, Buddy sighs in contentnt and closes his eyes to sleep, exhausted after our long walk around the Natal Palace. Not entirely true, considering he is a creature of soul and emotion living in an environnt of the sa, aning he could walk from now until the end of ti without growing tired so long as my Natal Palace remains intact, but sotis, when dealing with your pets, its nice to put reality aside and pretend theyre real people.
The truth is much less fun, in that Buddy is my Natal Guardian and is tired because I myself am physically, ntally, and emotionally exhausted after staying up for multiple nights in a row in an effort to convince my waking self to go find Kukku. I dont understand why Buddy is exhausted while I still feel fresh as a daisy, nor do I understand why he chose to sleep on the bed rather than on the office chair, which I figured was my Natal Throne. Then again, maybe Ive been taking the word throne too literally, as theres no reason it has to be an actual chair. Pong Pongs Throne is a coral bed, and Ping Pings was a mud bank, so maybe my whole bedroom is my Natal Throne, the safe space where I oversee my entire Natal Palace, and the chair and computer are just the envisioned diums through which I control it. Still doesnt answer why Buddy needs to sleep and I dont, but it is convenient considering I have things to do and people to see.
Giving Buddy a kiss on the head and another on the snoot, I quietly back out of the room so as not to disturb him. Closing the door ever so gently, my hand lingers on the handle as I fight the urge to go back inside to greet him, knowing just how happy and excited hell be to see again, to hear his squeaky cries of greeting as he circles around , all the while wagging his tail so hard his whole butt shakes. Part of recognizes that this probably isnt healthy, depending so much on a dog Ive already lost once before, but I cant help it. Buddy is not just a dog, hes my dog, and he was with for a huge part of my past life. Just having him here with makes feel more real, more sane and not so crazy anymore, because he is proof that I existed in a past life in another world, sothing more than just vague mories and recollections. Though I might still be a stranger in a foreign land and possibly even an invader in a stolen body, I am still Rayne and Falling Rain both, my past and my present coming together to create a brand new . While Ive experienced this more literally than most, this is how it is for everyone, because no one is the sa person they were two seconds ago. So long as we draw breath, we humans are forever changing, adapting, growing, and developing, becoming soone new with every step we take on this journey called life.
And though we all must forge our own paths, we never do so alone, because every person we et and interact with cos along for the journey in so way. My dog, my family, my wives, my pets, my friends, my allies, my enemies, and even casual acquaintances, each of them have shaped in so way and left their marks on my soul, however minor it might be. These marks might not always be permanent, but the most substantial ones will not only shape my path forward, but will also be carried with from this life into the next, and every life thereafter. Maybe in my next life, Ill rely on Aurie, Mama Bun, or soone else entirely to get through the darkest of tis, but here and now, Buddy is my rock, the moral foundation upon which I build my ethical guidepost. Honestly, not the worst choice to make, considering he was the sweetest dog ever, though I am a little worried Ill develop an irrational hatred of squirrels and intense fixation on chasing balls. Its okay though. Buddy is the most loyal companion a man could ask for, and if he starts affecting my thoughts and behaviour in a negative manner, I can just fine tune the amount of influence his soul has over mine. He wont mind it at all, unlike Baledagh who resented playing second fiddle to Falling Rain, because lets be real here; Buddy is a dog, sweet, loyal, and stupid. I an, to be fair, having Baledagh around did help, although it probably caused more problems than it solved in the long run, but only because I insisted on treating him like an actual separate person, one with his own goals that were not always the sa as mine. On the other hand, Buddy is a dog, and while I will spoil him silly, hes still just a dog, which ans I dont feel bad if he stays in my Natal Palace all the ti, because he just wants to be close to and guard from the bad things, even if I myself am the source of said bad things. Sure, hell be lonely when Im gone, but hes a strong, independent dog who dont need no man, or rather needs his own personal ti and space. Itll just be like going to work everyday, and when I co ho, Ill take him on long walks and bring plenty of friends for him to play with.
...Okay, I realize reviving a long dead pet inside my imaginary mind space probably isnt the healthiest way to deal with my unresolved issues, but if its stupid and it works, well then it aint stupid.
Backing away from the door, I teleport myself to the pier and gaze down in the depths of my Natal Lake. The waterpark has long since been hidden away after playti finished, but the natural currents churn and writhe with the collective enmity of all the Spectres I recently Cleansed, carried down into the depths yet struggling to make its way out again. Thats Buddys work, as he closed off the Natal Fissure which was dumping all my bad juju out into the Void and essentially trapping all those negative emotions shed by the Spectres. I considered closing the fissure myself for the sake of Balance, as negative emotions have their place just as positive ones do too, but theres more at work here than I consciously understand. The symbolism was previously lost to , but I now realize this lake represents more than just the Cleansing waters of my soul, but is also indicative of the power at my disposal. Most of the lake water is just Chi, but a small, minute portion of it is usable Heavenly Energy. There was a ti when I kept the latter in a bowl atop my nightstand, but now I understand that Chi, Water Chi, and Heavenly Energy are really all one and the sa, though I have yet to comprehend how to properly utilize it. In this, I am no different from any other Martial Warrior, because while Chi can do anything Heavenly Energy is capable of doing, the limits are not in the type of energy used, but rather our imperfect understanding of how to utilize what we have at our disposal.
In short, using Chi is like cooking from scratch, while Heavenly Energy is ordering a pre-packaged al. Both are still food, and can even taste exactly the sa, but the difference lies in my own understanding of what goes into the whole process and the effort required. Maybe theres a better way to explain it, but thats the best I got now, though Im still not sure if Im right.
As for these negative emotions trapped inside my Natal Lake, I know emotion is power, so I would be a fool to vent it all into the void, as I have been all this ti. If Buddy thought keeping all of this bad juju would harm , he wouldve done away with it in an instant, but he deliberately closed my Natal Fissure and kept all this enmity contained here. Its odd, because I should know everything he knows, and I know he knows that this is a good thing to do, but I have no idea why he did what he did because he doesnt know either. He just knows, and thats enough for him, which I suppose should be good enough for too.
Hmm... It seems like having Buddy around has not done anything to improve my indecisive nature. Not that I shouldve expected it to, because why would it? Im still , whether Buddy is around or not, and only I can change myself if I so desire it. Putting aside my questions of the Martial Path and emotions, I focus on more pressing issues as I raise my head and stare out into the Void. Overhead, the rifts still lies open and unguarded, but the torrent of invading Spectres has long since co to an end. Only the black stillness of the unending Void lingers to greet , inviting out into its cold, dark embrace, and I would be a fool to not be afraid. This stillness is unnatural, for the Void is all encompassing, and the asly few Spectres Ive already Devoured were nothing more than a side dish in the grand sche of things. I feel that soone or sothing has cut off from the Void, placed a barrier between and the vast emptiness I see laid out before , which likely ans I have once again caught Zhen Shis attention.
Stepping outside unprepared might well be fitting the noose around my neck, and yet leave I must, because I require aid and answers, which I will only receive if I am able to make my way over to the Abbots Natal Palace.
It wasnt too long ago when Zhen Shi tricked into leaving the safety of my Natal Palace and trapped in a living hell of his own design, and that experience nearly unmade . This ti however, if he is waiting out there, then I will not be caught unawares. I will not be powerless like I was before, because now I have an inkling of how to fight him. Though these past few days, Ive been unable to contest the Spectres out in the Void, I now understand that this isnt because I cant fight them, but because I didnt know how to. Spectres are emotion bound in slivers of soul, just like the Natal Souls I sent out to do good in the world, which was why Gen Shi let slip about how surprisingly apt my naming sense was. Spectres are simply Natal Souls by another na, ones filled with hatred, suffering, vitriol, and all other manner of negative emotions, and it is for this reason why I was unable to fight them.
Not because theyre strong and Im weak, but because I forgot how to arm myself with the proper weapons.
Peace and Tranquility appear in my hands, so naturally its almost as if they were always there, my hands closing around hilt and handle with barely a second thought. My armour blinks into existence, the golden Runic plate modelled after Shen ZhenWus trappings, but on a whim, they transform into sothing more familiar and comforting, dark Sentinelarmour made of carnugator leather, with open mouthed beasts on each shoulder alongside a bestial helt fashioned in the sa style. I keep a few things from the Legates armour, like the character etched across my chest, the open-mouthed turtle on my belt, and the various animals depicted across the armour to liven things up, but at the core of it all is the armour I wore briefly during the Societys Contest. Alsantset and Charok gifted it to , and even though I didnt have it for long before my skirmishes against the Society Adherents tore it apart, I always loved how it looked and the thought they put into this princely gift. I lost an arm and almost my life to the carnugators, so my sister had this armour made from one of the carnugators I killed and specifically requested it be reminiscent of the overgrown lizards, because she knew the symbolism would help overco my fear, and it worked magnificently. I never really developed a trauma over carnugators, because she showed that I had already conquered them, and therefore had no reason to fear them again.
Hang on. Is this why the Defiled make armour out of their enemies? Maybe I should kill Gen and keep his tallic hands as a trophy. Grueso, I know, but I an if it works...
Much like the last ti I faced Gen Shi in my Natal Palace, I make sure my armour is Runic in nature and feel my confidence gradually building in the back of my mind. The armour protects because I believe it will protect , thats the basic premise of power in the Void. Thats why the Spectres are ugly and bestial in form, to scare into believing they can hurt . Maybe they actually can, but my belief in their abilities makes them that much stronger, and while I might not be able to render them weak and helpless with faith and conviction alone, these weapons and armour infused with my emotions should allow to at least hurt them.
Just to have another weapon in my back pocket, I bottle up the worst of the Cleansed emotions into a dozen gourds hanging off my belt, as well as a few gourds of pure Heavenly Energy. Im not sure how to use them, but I do know they should co in handy if Im caught in a pinch. Spectres are weaponized emotion, so I might as well fight fire with fire, right?
The only thing missing is Unity, and while theres nothing stopping from materializing the transforming glaive in hand, a vague sense of uncertainty strikes as I consider doing just that, a gut feeling that says its too soon for this. Though worried I might just be second guessing myself, I decide its best left for later when I have more ti to reflect on my mories and emotions from my third binding ceremony and move onto more pressing matters. The Void beckons to , calling to step out into its cold, dark embrace, and though Id be lying if I said I had no reservations about accepting the invitation, Im about as ready as I can be at the mont, so theres no ti like the present. Ard and armoured in faith and conviction, I step through the rift
And find myself seated in my courtyard manor, with my beautiful wives by my side.
Mila clutches my right arm while Yan has my left, radiating heat from their scantily clad bodies as they press themselves against . Their unrestrained hunger making them more bold and adventurous than Ive ever seen, and I yearn to give myself over to them and fulfill their every desire. Mounting a leg each, they pull into their embrace and I lose myself in the heady, intoxicating haze of lust and longing, my carnal appetite unleashed and ready to be sated. Their smooth, silken skin, their soft, tender flesh, their fresh, carnal scent, I take it all in and only crave more as my mounting desire peaks and
Arf.
Two, heavy paws land on my stomach and I double over in surprise, only to find myself sitting in bed with Buddy staring at in what I can only describe as tired discontent. Really? he says, using only his eyes and body language to convey the ssage, not the young puppy eager to play, but the old dog letting know in no uncertain terms that hes tired of my shit and wants to sleep. This is what you woke up for? Cmon man. Get it together.
Still shaken by my rude awakening, I absently squish his smooshy face and give his head a vigorous scratch, which is enough to earn all the goodwill I lost and more. Trusting to handle things on my own again, Buddy curls back up and settles in for a snooze as I wrap his blankets around him and place the pillow back beneath his chin. Once hes suitably pampered, I slide off the bed and tiptoe out once again before teleporting back out to stand before the rift once again. This ti, instead of barrelling through the barrier with all the grace and finesse of a bull in a china shop, I stop to study it again and sense a familiar presence there, one Id missed the first ti around because I was so fixated on Zhen Shi. Thats not whos out there waiting for , and Ive an inkling suspicion who it might be, so I kindle an Aura filled with an emotional ssage Ive only ever been on the receiving end of.
Play?
Bwak-bwak?!
The response is imdiate, confused curiosity followed by gleeful recognition, and my request for access is granted with a note of eager impatience. Accepting the invitation with a thought, I close my eyes as the world shifts around and open them once things settle in place. Standing before is none other than Kukku himself, a tiny, mouse-sized chicken to my human-sized self, but a thought is all it takes to fix that perspective. Strutting about with wings spread wide, Kukku clucks up a storm while doing a little dance of greeting, running circles around and expressing his heartfelt contentnt to have here. The roosters Natal Palace seems like a humble one as far as such things go, his Throne a simple dried grass nest that has been crafted to near perfection and tucked away in a cozy little cave that the two of us can barely stand in. Judging by the rising sun, Kukkus cave faces south and is ward and well-lit throughout most of the day, and there is no doubt in my mind that is why he chose this spot to nest in. Alas, there are no eggs for him to perch atop, nor any other anities for the rooster to enjoy, which tells either Kukkus Natal Palace isnt as well defined as one might expect, or his needs are so simple this is all thats required to satisfy his desires.
Or at least, thats what I thought until Kukku brings outside the cave to see the world hes created, a stunning reproduction of the Brotherhoods monastery and the verdant mountain oasis around it. Though many of the details seem a bit fuzzy and the perspective a little off, everything is almost instantly recognizable as I realize exactly where we are. Wings still spread on either side, Kukku runs up the rocky path while looking back to make sure I follow, clucking all the while. Allowing myself to get caught up in the mont, I chase after him with a grin and laugh as he leaps into the air with feigned fright. Picking up the pace, he disappears into the brushes, but I can still sense his presence for he is poorly Concealed, knowing that I will never find him if he goes all out. Hide and seek is Kukkus ga of choice, and I am more than happy to indulge him, pretending to search high and low even though Ive already spotted his hiding place, crouched in the shadow of a tree and peering out at with his big, adorable eyes. The thrill and tension of almost being found is all part of the fun, while the practice and experience he gains in a lifesaving skill is just an added bonus. Its the sa way Ping Ping and Pong Pong love playing tag, to help hone their skills at chasing and being chased, while Mama Bun just likes running for the sake of running, without need to play a role as predator or prey.
As for Buddy? Dogs are supposed to love playing fetch, but while hes happy to chase anything I throw, the ga invariably turns into tug of war when he brings the toy back but refuses to let go. No take, only throw, thats his mindset when it cos to fetch, only proving hes not the sharpest tool in the shed. Thats sothing I love about him though, his big, dumb, adorable self, a dog who is neither traditionally handso or remotely elegant, just a silly mutt that loves no matter what.
The first ti I find him, Kukku leaps with joy and flutters his wings while bawk-bawking all about, emitting a range of emotions too jumbled and chaotic for to interpret with any accuracy. Best I can tell is hes happy and nostalgic, stamping his feet repeatedly in the shade of the big tree. Theres a ssage here ant for to understand, but its lost in translation as he cycles through his emotions too quickly, from fear and anger to comfort and relief, a deluge of sensations that Kukku is all too happy to share. Then, before I can explain my confusion, he crows to the sun and disappears once more, leaving to let find him again.
His second hiding spot is inside the monastery proper, in a shed around the back which is now used for tool storage, but in Kukkus Natal Palace, its a chicken coop instead. Hay and feed are scattered across the ground, and again, the silly rooster bombards with emotion while doing a little chicken dance, albeit a muted one seeing how hes constrained by the small size of the shack. As far as I can tell, he was furious to be here, then happy and relieved again, but I still cant understand the ssage hes trying to convey.
And so it continues, the sa ga followed by the sa story and dance as Kukku brings to all his favourite spots, including the monastery bell tower, the mountain paths behind the monastery, the oasis shore close to where the Defiled are now camped, and even the pit of worms Guard Leader almost inadvertently led us into. Going there wouldve been a death sentence for all of us, but Kukku sees it as a hunting spot where he goes to grab a delicious bite every few days. Those ugly, carrion worms emitted so sort of unnatural power, one that Im not sure I couldve defended against, but theyre nothing to Kukku who grew up in these parts and might well be the veritable king of the Arid Wastes. Kinda hilarious considering hes scared of most things, but to be fair, he is a chicken.
Around the tenth ti Kukku does his little emotion-filled song and dance, the ssage finally clicks with . Much like when Ping Ping and Pong Pong brought on a tour of their Natal Palaces, Kukku is sharing his life story with , showing where all these important events took place. I dont know what events hes trying to convey, but theres an elent of safety and comfort in all of them, one I think I might have already identified. Did you co here with the Abbot? I ask, and Kukkus expression perks up at the ntion of his friend, and I swear the rooster nods like... well, like a chicken pecking grains. He brought you to all these places, didnt he? Helped you beco a Spiritual Beast. Probably found you in the wild and tad you first though, so he wouldnt have to worry about you turning wild and powerful. Though Kukku doesnt understand all the words Im using, I like to think hes picking up on the general gist of what Im saying, as I have more practice than he does when it cos to communicating through Aura. The silly rooster cant even use Emotional Aura in the real world, though I have no idea what it is that keeps him from doing so. I do know that Aura is usually the last milestone for Spiritual Beasts, though I have no idea why considering its usually the second or third after Core Creation for humans. If anything, I wouldve thought Aura would co easier to animals, seeing how in touch with their own needs and emotions they are. Then again, you could argue that this is because animals are controlled by their emotions rather than the ones in control, beholden to instinct and inclination for survival while humans usually try to rise above them.
Of course, this whole experience brings to another question, which is why did Pong Pong, Ping Ping, and Kukku all feel the need to tell their lifes story as seen in their Natal Palace?
The question lingers in the back of my head as we continue to play hide and seek, until Kukku brings to a cave Ive never seen, but recognize from Joranis descriptions. This is where Vyakhya hid GangShu and the Ascendants, I say, more for my benefit than his. Judging by the torrent of glee, guilt, alarm, and anxiety, I sohow sense Kukku is telling the story of how he t Jorani, a suspicion cented in place when the rooster stands at the narrow pass and blocks an unseen but supposedly terrifying figure from passing. This rooster is so dramatic, but I love it, except now Ive been reminded of why Im here. Hang on a second, Kukku. Pausing mid-story, the rooster cocks his head at the sound of his na, expectantly waiting for to continue. I need to see the Abbot. Can you bring to him? Feathers deflating now that playti is over, the rooster looks so sad I cant help but add, We can play later, I promise.
That puts a little pep in his step, and he brings back to the desert dwelling where I found the Abbot in real life, only here in the Natal Palace, Kukku has no need to go inside. Resting his beak on my shoulder, he seeks a comforting embrace as he grieves for his friend and father, the Abbot who hand raised him from a chick and guided him along the... not the Martial Path, but Kukkus Path, whatever it might be. People who say animals dont feel emotions the sa way people do just havent spent enough ti around them, and Kukkus concern is all the proof anyone should ever need. He knows the Abbot needs help and wishes he could do sothing about it, but alas, hes just a chicken and doesnt understand whats happening.
Sadly, he doesnt think theres anything I can do either, but hes not going to stop from trying.
Rubbing his cheeks in fond farewell, I make no promises as I slip out into the Void, guided to my destination by Kukkus unspoken directions. Again, I close my eyes as the world shifts around , and when I open them once more, I stand in the monastery once more, but a different monastery from the one I visited judging by the vast body of water stretching out across the horizon. The salty tang of the air tells were probably by the ocean, though I have little else to go on besides that, but almost everything else about the monastery is exactly the sa, from the plain, stone courtyard to the carved pillars full of characters I cant read.
Standing at the back of the courtyard, I turn my gaze upon the monks seated before in quiet ditation, the instrunts of their self-inflicted punishnts nowhere to be found. Instead, they sit with hands ford in a Sutra of self-study as they seek inner calm and Balance, every last one of them breathing to the beat of a drum in the hands of a wizened old monk who I do not recognize. The drum is familiar though, an exact copy of the wooden fish the Abbot used in Sinuji, though it cant possibly be the sa one. That was the Abbots Spiritual Weapon, and this one... well this one is also a Spiritual Weapon, but one that belongs to the old monk seated at the front of the crowd. Moving around to get a better look at the monks, I imdiately spot a familiar face, but not one I expected to see here. There in the front row sits none other than Mahakala, but not the obese, ragged monk I knew in life. This Mahakala I recognize from his appearance inside his Natal Palace, a lean, chiselled man in the pri of life and clothed in spotless, unwrinkled robes. Peace and serenity are etched into his youthful features, and while they do much to ease the lines of worries in his face, this younger Mahakala has seen too much suffering to ever let himself wholly relax, even here in the company of his Brothers.
Other than him, I dont recognize anyone else in the crowd, but that doesnt an the Abbot isnt here. I cant find him because I have no idea how the Abbot visualizes himself, but after going through the crowd a second ti, I realize most of the monks looked different from the first ti around. Only a select few have the sa features as before, and upon further study, I notice that Im not actually seeing faces on most of the monks, but rather my mind is filling in the blanks as I gloss over them. Theres no way the Abbots Natal Palace could be this unstable given how hes a bonafide Divinity, which ans... theres sothing off about this scene. Im guessing this is an illusion brought about by Kukkus dream attack, but why the Abbot would allow it to affect him like this is a complete mystery.
Your presence here is unexpected and unwelco. The Sending sounds in my mind, delivered by an unfamiliar voice, but there is no mistaking it for anyone else besides the leading monk. Eyes closed and expression neutral, he doesnt miss a beat on his fish drum while radiating an Aura of polite suspicion. Please be so kind as to remove yourself, lest this monk be forced to remove you himself.
Ignoring the wizened old monk, I study the crowd once more until I spot a single frowning face, one seated towards the back and far away from his Senior Brother. Apologies for the intrusion Abbot, but I require your assistance, and this was the only way I could speak with you.
For long seconds, the Abbot wavers with indecision, torn between indulging in his pleasant dream and responding to my entreaty. In the end, he sighs and lets the illusion fade, leaving himself unchanged while everything else shifts in place. The monastery is still similar, but there are subtle differences in the stones and atmosphere, the ocean sounds and slls replaced by those of the Arid Wastes, a drier, earthier scent tinged with danger and uncertainty. Opening his eyes, the young Abbot slumps his shoulders and gestures for to approach, his slow and deliberate movents giving away just how hard it is for him to move. That shouldnt be the case, as this is technically his Natal Palace, because thats how Kukkus dream attack works. Unlike Zhen Shi, who favours crafting the illusion himself, Kukku simply lets the targets own innate desires create the illusion, a far more effective thod in my eyes. Zhen Shis thod has the benefit of ensuring all details are accounted for in painstaking effort, but the downside is that its easy to overlook sothing as simple as scent or texture, which was how I got out of one or two close scrapes.
That being said, if this is one of Kukkus illusions, then it ans the ditation scene was sothing the Abbot wholeheartedly desired, to sit down and be in the presence of his ntor and Senior Brother again. anwhile, my innermost desire was a threeso with my two wives, which is totally understandable, but still shas and makes feel like a filthy pervert.
...Hang on. Thanks to the dicinal baths, courtesy of Taduk, Taiyi ZhuShen, and Li TieGuai, I have a refined body thats tougher than your average Martial Warrior. Does this an... I can have happy fun tis with Mila... without breaking any bones?
God dammit! Ive wasted so much ti already. I need to get back in working order and er... test this theory, stat!
Taking a seat in front of the Abbot, I resist the urge to launch into a litany of my own problems and study him instead. You... dont look well.
Do I not? Gesturing at himself with a wince, he makes an effort to straighten up with pride. Even old as I am, I am still sotis surprised by my reflection in the water, one I barely recognize at tis. This form however, this is how I saw myself for many a decade, a handso man with a winning smile, despite never winning anyone over with it. Frowning as he studies my features, he adds, Odd that you see yourself as older and less handso than you are in life Junior Brother SanDukkha, an idiosyncrasy I would gladly delve into if matters were less dire.
SanDukkha? Oh yea, my monk na which ans perpetual suffering. No one ever uses it, so I almost forgot all about it. You know how matters are progressing in the outside world?
No. Shaking his head with a knowing smile, which I cannot deny is charming, the young Abbot looks up and down, though his gaze lingers on my many gourds of negative emotion. But if matters were not so dire, then you would not risk the destruction of your eternal soul to co here, even if you are ard for bear.
...See, I figured thats what was happening here, but its still disconcerting to have confirmation. Even though I dont really know what a soul entails, I dont feel great about risking it every ti I go Natal Palace delving. Then again, the fact that Pong Pong and Ping Ping are willing to co visit and risk their souls is heartening indeed, and it might be the sa with Mama Bun, except Im pretty sure she doesnt understand the risk. Cute as a button but dumb as a bag of rocks, thats my sweet Mama Bun, and I love her so. Okay, so I find dumb animals adorable, sue . Yea well, Im having troubles communicating in real life. No idea why. Still reluctant to dive right in and bombard him with questions, I glance around the Abbots Natal Palace in search of sothing amiss and ask, So... whats happening with you?
I am dying. Though delivered with a casual tone and easygoing smile, the statent hits with the force of a truck and knocks the non-existent air out of my unneeded lungs, but he continues speaking without missing a beat. Slowly, but surely, and short of a miracle of Heaven, I fear there is no cure in sight. Holding a hand up to forestall my argunt, he does that thing people do where they read my thoughts and then later deny having ever done so. Damage done during a battle between Divinities is not limited to re flesh and bone. Suffice it to say, my injuries go beyond the physical, and even your unique Healing thod is not enough to save . Pressing his hands together, he bows in apology, and its easy to see how much even this minor gesture costs him. Apologies, Junior Brother SanDukkha. This monk studied your thods in secret without first obtaining permission, and has long since uncovered the secrets to your undying flesh. A clever thod, to rely on the bodys ability to naturally Heal and rely accelerate the process, though the base root of your thod speaks to an unprecedented knowledge of the human body.
Thats bait if I ever saw it, an attempt to lure into changing the subject and moving on from the Abbots dilemma, but I refuse to take it. What sort of injuries go beyond the physical? Even as I ask the question, the answer reveals itself to . Damage to the soul? How can that keep you down though? Repairing the soul is easy, just... do things you enjoy. Enjoy the company of people you care about. Reflect on mories that bring you comfort and happiness. Give Kukku a hug or sothing. All things that are good for the soul.
A remarkably astute observation for one so young and unlearned. Tilting his head, the Abbot asks, Did Brother Mahakala tell you this? Or perhaps your Teacher, the dical Saint? No, neither one would be so irresponsible as to share such pertinent information before you were ready and risk ruining your future progress. Eyes lighting up in understanding, he continues, Of course, of course. You no doubt have a unique perspective of the soul, seeing as you are the Devourer. Eh-Mi-Tuo-Fuo.
Partially true, but not entirely, as I owe most of my understanding to those feel-good story books, Chicken Soup for the Soul. Also, I did sever a whole bunch of my Soul and Devour it again, which now that I think about it is kinda gross, like swallowing sothing Id already vomited up. Stop deflecting. Why wont any of my proposed solutions work?
Because, Junior Brother SanDukkha, the Abbot says, his expression softening into one of easy acceptance. This monk has no more people he loves or cares about, and believes he has nothing left to live for.
Now theres a conversation stopper if I ever heard one, so I sit and wait for him to elaborate. Glancing about the monastery, his eyes take on a forlorn cast as he sees sothing I cannot, sothing he rembers rather than what is shown before him. You saw the illusion, yes? The differences in the monastery? That was in a ti long past, one this monk can barely recall anymore, for it was long before I Ford a Natal Palace. Though I have tried to lock those mories in place, I cannot help but wonder about the details Id since forgotten and wish I could rember them in greater clarity, if only so that I might indulge myself a little better. Pointing at a now vacant spot, he sighs and says, There, my Senior Brother sat, the role model for all to aspire to. Moving his hand to point at the front where the aged monk sat and beat out a steady rhythm on his drum, he continues, And there sat my ntor, my Teacher, and a man who beca a father to , for he took in and tended to my broken self when none others would have .
And now theyre both gone, I whisper, understanding where hes going, and the Abbot nods in reply while reflecting on mories of a past that are denied to him forevermore.
After a long silence, the Abbot heaves another sigh and brushes away an unseen tear. Not only this, but I have ruined everything they sought to create. By passing over Senior Brother and appointing to Abbot, my ntor inadvertently knocked Senior Brother off his Path, a misstep I failed to help him recover from before he died at Zhu Chanzuis hands. Under this monks leadership and his endeavours to better influence the mortal world, the Brotherhood was forced into hiding, and recently fractured beyond all repair. Now, the world teeters on the brink of non-existence, but its mbers are too indifferent to even care, and this monk does not know how to sway them to his cause. Whatever will be, will be, is their prevailing thought, abstaining from taking a side for fear of being tainted by the red dust of the mortal world. Mistaken though his beliefs may be, at least Brother Vyakhya had the wherewithal to act on his convictions, while the others simply hide their heads in the sand and hope to weather the storm unscathed. Such arrogance, such sin, Eh-Mi-Tuo-Fuo. Hanging his head in sha, the Abbot closes his eyes and sighs a third ti, his heart heavy and tears flowing, grieving his failures and welcoming the inevitable end, because he sees no other way to escape the pain.
I ca here in search of help, but it seems the Abbot needs help even more than I do. Though I have no idea what to do, I do know that sotis, people dont need others to solve their problems for them, they just need soone to listen to them vent. Ive done it often enough to know how it feels to have my problems trivialized by people who dont understand. Why are you depressed? theyd ask, before the inevitable, Just go out, relax, and have so fun, thatll cheer you up. As if I havent tried just being happy. Thanks for the advice, cured my depression right there. Ill just be happy instead of being sad. Genius.
Knowing he has plenty more to get off his chest, I reach out to take his hand and wait until his eyes et mine. I am here to listen, if you care to talk.
Despite the sorrow in his eyes, the Abbot manages to squeeze out a small smile, albeit a brief one that disappears soon after. You have much wisdom for one so young, he says, puffing up with the tiniest bit of pride. Perhaps not all of this monks decisions were misguided, for though it divided the Brotherhood more than anything that ca before, your words and actions have proven that you deserve your place as Wisdom of the Brotherhood.
Arguable, but I dont think now is the ti to bring this up. Maybe later, when the Abbot is no longer suicidal and back to full health, but for now, we need to take the spotlight away from and focus on him for a bit.
A sha he cant be like and just get a dog. That would for sure fix all that ails him, the love and companionship of a sweet pupper.
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