After dragging herself out of bed at an ungodly hour and spending more ti than she cared to brushing her hair, Mila arrived at Rains manor to find him still in bed.
Stifling the urge to lay down beside him, she took a seat at his bedside and waited for him to wake. Resting her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands, she studied his tranquil and contented expression and gave thanks to the Mother Above for keeping him safe. Fast asleep and snoring softly, he wore a slack, goofy grin while snuggling with sweet Baloo, nuzzling the lazy bears head with his nose and cheek. Though healthier now than he was before leaving for Sinuji, there was still a long way to go before Rain was fully recovered, no matter what anyone else might claim. As if his broken Spiritual Weapons hanging on the wall and the various cuts and scars decorating his body werent proof enough, his angular cheeks, sunken chest, and scrawny arms were all visible signs of his recent physical infirmity, yet still there were rumours floating about claiming his infirmity was all a ruse and he was the picture of perfect health. Even if he were faking, who were they to point fingers and accuse Rain of shirking his duties? How many junior officers could match Rain in ti spent or achievents accomplished on the front lines? If there were more than a handful, Mila would eat her boots raw, but it seed like every day there was yet another noble fop or diocre silk-pants condemning Rain for his deception and cowardice.
Fools one and all. Never mind his exemplary service record before he took injury, or how he helped devise a plan which killed half-a-million Defiled before the battle even began. Pay no attention to how his recovery was a miracle of Heaven, or that he slew three Demons barehanded in front of eight impartial Peak Experts, each one an honourable and reputable warrior with life-long careers in the military. No, the important thing to focus on was that despite all the evidence and witnesses which said otherwise, the only plausible explanation for Rains miraculous recovery was that hed been faking his injury all along in order to avoid fighting on the front lines. Thank the Mother Rain had the foresight to have his health publicly examined by several Imperial Healers stationed in Sinuji before his miraculous recovery. With respected nas like Lishan Suzhen, Taokang Geyan, and Taiyi ZhuShen speaking out in Rains defence and putting their reputations on the line to attest to his ailnt, the rumours were proven unfounded and unjustified, though facts rarely kept the ignorant from voicing their thoughts.
So outraged from even thinking about those hateful rumours, Mila almost let loose with a scream of frustration, but Taduk said to let Rain rest as much as he could so she settled for glaring at Baloo instead. Bright eyed and wide awake, the precocious black bear rested comfortably against Rains chest while shooting Mila a pleading gaze and suckling his paw in feigned distress. Though longer than Mila was tall and weighing over two-hundred kilograms to boot, Baloo expected her to believe he was trapped and unable to break free from Rains limp embrace. It was all a ruse to get her to bring him food, because the sleepy bear was too lazy to go outside to fetch his own als, a true silk-pants of an animal if there ever was one.
Truth be told, she didnt bla Baloo one bit for wanting to stay in bed. He looked so cozy and comfortable nuzzling with Rain that Mila wouldve long since joined them under the covers if Mama and Papa werent having breakfast just across the courtyard with the rest of Rains family and pets.
Running her fingers through soft Baloos belly fur, she stifled a sigh and ignored her rumbling stomach while quietly imploring Rain to wake. Shed packed her things and left with Mama, Yan, and everyone else as soon as they received word of the million strong army of Defiled marching for the front lines, but by the ti they arrived in Sinuji, the battle had been all but won and Rain was fast asleep in the middle of his camp surrounded by all his pets. Embarrassing as it was to find him cuddling in plain sight, it was much better than the hellish scenario shed expected to find. Things might have gone differently if not for Rain and Colonel Hongjis ingenious firetrap, but with half their army dead and the remnants burned and wounded, the Defiled army was in no shape to break through Colonel General Nian Zus unyielding soldiers, especially not with five-thousand Sentinel bows and crossbows supporting them from behind. Although the Imperial losses were not light, with less than half of the initial thirty thousand soldiers surviving to the end, it was a small price to pay in comparison to the Defiled tally. The fiery inferno and subsequent waves of earth made it all but impossible to count the corpses, but even the most conservative estimates put the Enemy losses at close to seven-hundred thousand, marking Sinuji as a stunning Imperial victory which would be spoken of for decades to co.
A victory in which Milas beloved had played no small part in, yet now, not even a week later, the Empire at large seed ready to condemn him for his actions.
Well... condemn might be too strong a word for it since it was mostly hushed whispers yet to gain traction, but the lack of praise or accolades aid in Rains direction was almost as bad. Oh how Mila wished shed gone to Sinuji with him, if only to see him in all his glory, but she contented herself with knowing he was physically healthy again, no longer in constant agony or barely able to stand up straight. It filled her with pride to hear of his prowess on the battlefield, but the stories Lin, Luo-Luo, and Song told hardly did him any justice. Being the idiot that he was, Rain himself had no recollection of the events, no idea how hed accomplished even half of what hed done, and was currently unable to consciously use Chi in any way, shape, or form, let alone display the sort of mastery hed exhibited in Sinuji. It was hardly surprising when one considered his past, for almost all of his greatest achievents ca from accidental success. Mother in Heaven, it felt like a lifeti had passed since she sat Rain down and painstakingly explained how he knew more Chi skills than just Honing. Such an idiot. He could barely hit the broad side of a barn with bow and arrow, but was able to throw his sword and have it pierce clean through a mans calf without breaking bone or severing artery. What else could it be except Guiding?
Though frustrated by the mory of her frustration, Mila couldnt help but smile fondly at her sleeping betrothed and quietly resolved never to let him go into battle without her again. Her smile widened even further when he ca awake and greeted her with, Good morning, beautiful. Grinning suggestively as he patted the empty space beside him, he feigned a shiver and added, Brr, its so cold in here. Care to share so warmth?
Rolling her eyes at his shaless behaviour, she moved from her chair to his bed and took his hand, for no real reason besides wanting to comfort him. Though his nights were calm and restful, his days were steeped in sorrow and lancholy, or at least they had been in this past week following the battle in Sinuji. Mila still rembered seeing him wake from his stupor after that fateful night, so scared and confused because he thought he was still in the midst of battle. For good reason too, seeing how he was so exhausted hed fallen asleep while playing with his pets only a stones throw from the battlefield. Overlooking his incredible performance against the Wraiths and Demons, Rains actions were not those of a man in his right mind, but he was not to bla. What did the Justicars expect to happen when they stationed an ailing, fragile man on the front lines for more than a month? A hotbed of conflict and danger, fighting on the outer walls took a heavy ntal toll on healthy veteran soldiers, so how could they expect Rain to withstand the stress and hardship when he could barely walk three steps unassisted? Hell, if not for Colonel General Nian Zu insisting all soldiers who served in the battle take ti off from the front lines, Rain might still be stuck in Sinuji with the last few survivors of Dastans dood retinue.
It was one thing to fight in battle, and another to stand helpless and afraid while your friends died protecting you. Were it anyone else, Rain would have long since been Tainted by the Fathers whispered lies, if not turned wholly Defiled.
...Which may or may not have been Yang Jixings goal to begin with, now that Mila thought about it.
How are you feeling? she asked, knowing he would lie but relying on the fact that he was a terrible liar to discern the truth.
Im doing better. Slept well.
Rains non-answer ant little, but seeing him shift closer and hug Baloo tight told Mila that his better ant not great, while experience told her that Rains not great was akin to downright depressed for almost anyone else. Suppressing a sigh, she squeezed his hand and silently sat at his side while he drifted off into his thoughts, knowing that if she interrupted him now, hed only co back later to wallow in misery on his own. It hurt seeing him so despondent and morose, but it hurt more knowing hed been this way for as long as shed known him, except he used to hide it from her and everyone else. At least now she could be here for him, if he should need her, and that would have to be enough, because despite wishing it were otherwise, there was nothing else she could do. This battle was not one she could win through strength of arms, or even one in which she could take part in, for this conflict took place within Rains psyche and was a personal struggle against despair and dejection.
She couldnt even begin to imagine how he must feel in the wake of what was uncovered in Sinuji. There was power lurking within him, a Peak Experts strength lurking in the hidden recesses of his mind, but strength he could not consciously wield, no matter how hard he tried. Whatever unique state of Balance hed now twice arrived at lay tantalizingly out of conscious reach, but this wasnt the reason for his low-spirits, not directly. Now that Rain knew about the power hidden within him, he blad himself for his ignorance and felt responsible for every death in Sinuji, because in his mind, no one would have died if he hadnt been crippled and stationed there. The deaths of his soldiers hit him hard, losing fifteen soldiers and twenty two Death Corps guards to Wraiths and Demons in that chaotic ambush, while only seven warriors from Dastans forr retinue still survived to this day. What hit him hardest, however, was the three Bannern who died in Sinuji, hawk-eyed Khagati, cheery ngu, and the fierce Kharnate, each one lost when the outer wall crumbled apart beneath their feet. Rain hadnt even known about their deaths until the funeral, and the look on his face when she told him broke Milas heart into a thousand pieces.
Shed grown so used to seeing him as her calm, confident, Warrior of a betrothed, a peerless talent and dragon among n, that shed forgotten all about the scared little foundling hed been when they first t, a mousy and anxious boy who looked ready to jump right out of his skin. While no longer that scared little foundling, he owed everything he had to the Warriors of the Iron Banner, and now he believed himself responsible for three of their deaths. A fool is what he was, the Defiled killed Khagati, ngu, and Kharnate, as well as all the other soldiers and heroes who died in Sinuji, not Rain.
Her beloved fool, so talented in the Martial Path yet so utterly unsuited for warfare. Truly a mystery of the Heavens.
Unable to leave him be any longer, Mila leaned over and kissed her beloved idiot on the cheek while slipping her arms under Baloos furry bulk. Telling him their deaths werent his fault would do no good, so all she could do was keep him from spiralling out of control. Stealing away the lazy bear as she backed away from the bed, she turned on her heels and strode out of the room with her squirming burden in tow. Enough moping. Get dressed and co have breakfast, she said before closing the door behind her with a foot. If she stayed inside, hed give her a pitiful look and ask her to help him get dressed, then spend the entire ti stealing kisses and more. As much as she enjoyed their little gas, she was in no mood for it right now, hungry enough to bite off his lips and swallow them.
Had she known hed sleep in this late, she wouldnt have insisted Song wake her for breakfast...
Given how it was his first night back in the Citadel, and therefore the first ti hed slept in a proper bed in months, she magnanimously forgave him and chose to wait a little longer so they could eat together. Indignant over being dragged from bed, Baloo groused and grumbled until she tossed him gently across the courtyard, though not before making sure the area was clear of children, pups, and bunnies. Landing lightly on all fours, the silly bear grunted in laughter while he ran back and jumped into her arms, his displeasure instantly forgotten when presented with his favourite ga. There was truly no saving this dismal failure of a bear, a powerful beast of fang and muscle who enjoyed tumbling through the grass in his best impression of a ball, and he even used Lightening to go about it better. Banjo loved the ga too, and the smaller bear ca dashing out of the dining room with his snout covered in half-chewed food, so well-fed he was willing to leave his al behind just so he could be tossed around like a sack of rice. Alternating between the two bears, Mila passed the long minutes like this until Rain ca shuffling out of his room bundled up in thick robes and a cloak to ward off the mild chill, but moving on his own two feet without need for a cane or walker.
Or so she thought, right up until he tripped stepping off of the veranda and landed face first in the dirt.
Rushing over to help him up, she arrived only a step ahead of Baatar who dashed over from the dining room, with Mama, Papa, and Taduk close behind. Luckily only Rains pride was wounded and he ca to his feet with a grin, albeit a sheepish one over having caused such a fuss. Thank you. Im fine, he said, responding to all their questions at once. Nothing to worry about, I just forgot how far the drop was.
It wasnt far at all, not even ten centitres from walkway to dirt, but no one ntioned it to spare his dignity. This didnt stop Taduk from checking Rains health of course, and his verdict was the sa as always. Still no change, he muttered, and Baatar scowled in response. Mama also pursed her lips and sniffed, which was usually a bad sign, and in this case, Mila had to agree. No change didnt an Rain wasnt injured, but rather that the dical Saint, a Healer standing near the pinnacle of his craft, detected no difference in Rains body now when compared to how he was before leaving the Citadel. Aside from being underweight, thered been nothing physically wrong with him then which could explain his symptoms, just as there was nothing to explain why he was better now.
Well... nothing aside from Rains almost nonsensical explanation about how he drank the Water Chi he kept in a gourd and unintentionally Cleansed the Spectres he only recently learned he had lingering inside him, rendering them into usable Heavenly Energy which he then used to inadvertently Orate and fight off Demons while imrsed in a fugue state, not unlike the one he found himself in shortly after shattering his Core and monts before he proceeded to beat the tar out of the Emissary Gen.
Honestly, it all seed like nonsense to Mila, and she didnt dare try to understand for fear of affecting her personal Martial Path, but whether he was right or wrong wasnt the issue. The problem was, now that he had no more Water Chi to drink or Spectres to Cleanse, Rain pessimistically believed there was a better than good chance his health would deteriorate until he reverted back to the thin-skinned cripple from before, unable to even eat without causing himself pain. Sothing to do with how he rejected the World and now had to face its burdens unaided, whatever that ant.
Her poor, foolish beloved. Hed suffered so much that he truly believed the world itself hated him and wanted him dead and gone. How tragic...
Dont look so sad, beloved, Rain said, smiling as he stroked Milas cheek. Im alive, and therefore am not entirely without hope. Just mostly. Even now, he just had to make bad jokes, even if they were at his own expense. Well figure sothing out. Taking her hand and squeezing it tight, he feigned nonchalance while brushing imperceptible dirt off of his clothes and asked, Any word about the Abbot and... the others?
Who had the only other two gourds of Water Chi in existence and therefore quite possibly his only hope of redemption, or at least thats how Rain saw it. Not yet, Taduk replied, and Mila sensed more than saw Rain choke back a sigh, But it could be weeks before we hear from them. Months even. Battles between Divinities that dont end in an instant tend to drag on. Why, the Arid Wastelands were ford by a decade long battle between Divinities, one which ended in a stalemate, so who knows when theyll be back?
While Rain and Taduk argued over the semantics of calling a ten-year altercation a singular battle, Mila followed them to the dining room and subrsed herself in her thoughts. Rain stopped himself short of ntioning Guan Suo by na because events in Sinuji had revealed he was no half-beast, but a Red-Panda Ancestral Beast. Ever since, Mama and Papa had been walking on eggshells around the subject, but truth be told, Mila wasnt entirely sure how to react knowing that crusty old vagrant was actually the father who abandoned her.
No, not father. Progenitor or sire, but never father. Divine Blacksmith Husolt of the Bekhai was Milas father, her cherished Papa who loved her with all his heart, not Guan Suo of nowhere who loved nothing.
She still rembered how hed reacted when she told him everything she wanted to tell him, before she knew who he truly was. She told him her na, her accomplishnts, about the wonderful life she had and the people who loved her, but he didnt care. She even told him she was far better off without him, but all he did was make so pithy remark about writing it all down in a letter instead. He made excuses afterwards, tried to explain his actions, but those made even less sense than Rains explanation about his current status. Beast at heart? Slave to his instincts? Which bestial impulse drove him to beco guardian to a giant turtle? Which instinct was he following which required him to smoke a pipe at all hours of the day? He could have been her father if he wanted to, but he didnt, so he tossed her aside. The worst part was, even knowing all this, knowing all the lies he would give and bullshit he would spew, she still wanted to know the truth. Who was her birth mother? Was she still alive? Did they love each other, or was she the product of... of a business deal or simply an act of passion?
...And why didnt she keep Mila? Why did she give her flesh and blood away? Was being mother to a half-beast really so terrible?
Slipping his arm around her waist, Rain pulled Mila close and kissed her forehead, not caring that Mama and Papa were right there, not to ntion the rest of his family too. Cheeks colouring from sha at this blatantly public display of affection, she glared at her insolent betrothed in an effort to put him in his place, but he simply smiled his infuriating smile and said, Thank you for waiting so I dont have to eat alone.
Knowing he was trying to distract her from her thoughts, Mila sniffed and gently laid her head on his shoulder. Dont expect to wait every day. If you slept in any longer, I would have soon starved to death. You might as well just sleep another two hours and wake up to lunch with Lin.
You say that like youre any better, Rain teased, giving her no face whatsoever. It wasnt so long ago when Lin-Lin woke you for lunch everyday.
Her glare continued to have no effect on his grin, and Mila wondered if she was doing it wrong. When Mama glared, Papas first response was always to raise his hands in surrender, even when he wanted to dig his heels in and be stubborn, but Rain didnt seem affected at all. Audaciously kissing her forehead again, he lifted his chopsticks to her lips and her enmity lted away as she rembered how ravenously hungry she was. Gobbling up the scrambled eggs, she gently nudged him aside so she had room to use her own chopsticks and set upon her al with more haste than proper decorum would allow, but it was Rains fault she was hungry, so if he didnt want to see her unladylike appearance, then he shouldnt have kept her waiting for so long.
While they enjoyed their sizable and delectable breakfast, everyone else went about their day, with Papa slinking off first to go work at his forge and Baatar following soon after to deal with the pitfalls of command. Mama left for so eting or another, Taduk ran off to tend to his garden, and Charok and Alsantset brought the twins and animals out to play. With Yan, Song, and Luo-Luo off training and Lin still fast asleep, Mila and Rain were left alone, which she was grateful for because it gave her the chance to ask about sothing shed been waiting weeks for him to bring up, but after the debacle in Sinuji, she was no longer willing to wait. So, she said, wiping her lips with a handkerchief while he watched her with lecherous eyes from behind his teacup. When are you going to set a date for our marriage?
So startled he almost choked on his tea, Rain coughed and sputtered in obvious panic. Excuse ? he asked, if only to buy ti to think. I didnt quite catch that.
You heard . This ti, Milas glare had the intended effect and Rain shrank back in his chair. When do you intend to set a date for our marriage? New years has co and gone, but the spring equinox is another popular date. Its the fifteenth day of the third month, by the way. Crossing her arms, she tried her best not to blush and added, I dont mind if you marry Yan at the sa ti, but Ive already discussed it with her, and if we do share a wedding day, you will consummate our marriage before consummating hers. It was no secret that the lecherous pair already spent most nights together, and while sharing a marriage day was one thing, sharing a marriage bed was entirely different, and as much as Mila loved Yan, she didnt love her like that. Swallowing her ire, Mila took a deep breath and continued, Also, I think you should have a marriage ceremony with Zheng Luo too. A real marriage ceremony, where you accept her as wife, not consort. Mila would never have allowed it if Zheng Luo had been an empty-headed fool without substance or significance, but between her phenonal musical talents, her brilliant business acun, and her developing Martial Skills, the Imperial Servant had shown her willingness to work hard for the sake of Rain and the People, which ant it wouldnt be right or fair to leave her as rely a consort. Besides, she was the only one who could bear Rains children, and whether Mila liked it or not, it would eventually matter in years to co. She didnt want her beloved future sons and daughters asking why their birth mother was only a consort instead of a proper wife like the rest of their mothers.
This was all Rains fault. Stupid lecher. He even fell in love with that village girl Qing-Qing, which Mila had long since suspected, but it still stung to learn about. Unable to suppress her jealousy any further, Mila looked away and quietly added, If possible, Id like it if you picked a different day for Zheng Luo. Sharing a wedding day with Yan was one thing, but Zheng Luo as well? If that was the case, Rain might well be shaless enough to suggest they all wait until Lin ca of age and they could all get married together.
Clearing the last vestiges of tea from his throat, Rain took both her hands in his own and took a deep breath. Beloved, he began, his mournful gaze telling her she would have to share her wedding bed with more than one woman. Its not that I dont want to set a date, but... its just... what if I never recover? I dont want to tie you down to a cripple.
Excuse ? Gripping his hands tight, she ignored his wince of pain and futile attempts to pull away, because this was far worse than sharing a marriage bed. Am I hearing correctly, or did you just imply you do not, in fact, intend to marry ?
No, of course not beloved. Mila squeezed his hands a little tighter and his voice went up in pitch. I want to marry you more than anything, but I just wanted to wait until I was better. You know, so I was healthy enough to, um, do the deed.
You can sleep with Yan and Luo-Luo but sohow youre too frail to consummate our marriage? Cheeks scarlet with fury and embarrassnt, she threw his hands away and crossed her arms. If youre worried about breaking... sothing, I talked to Yan about it and we ca up with a solution. By the Mother, this was embarrassing. Or rather she talked to Dain, who gave us a book about... bindings and... other things. I... made so shackles, based on the drawings. So we could... you know.
Mother in Heaven, Mila wanted nothing more than to just fall over dead. Anything to spare her the humiliation. She spent so much ti calling him a lecher and pervert, but now he knew she was equally as perverted, if not more.
First off, Ive never slept with Luo-Luo. Arms wrapping around her waist, Rain tried to pull her into his lap, gave up, and sidled closer to her instead. But shackles you say? His hot breath kissed her ear as he leaned in close, his amber eyes shining with predatory intent. Well, well, well. Why dont we go see if they work right now? You know, as a test?
Lecher. Standing even as she said the words, she all but pulled Rain to his feet and dragged him away. Youre not allowed to go too far, understand? she Sent, only now realizing the guards likely heard their entire conversation, but she could only pray they would keep silent because she still intended to go through with it. Also, marriage date. Set one. Or else.
Spring equinox sounds great, Rain replied, and she could hear his smarmy smile. You know. Provided the shackles work.
They better, because if they didnt, she might literally, but unintentionally, kill him herself.
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