Ping Ping was the first to fall.
Alone and exposed, the big girl lets loose with a heartrending squeak as shes dragged into the depths. The sound cuts off abruptly and her massive form disappears into nothingness, leaving behind a surface so calm and still its as if she never existed at all. Roaring in fury, Guan Suo dives in after her without a second thought, plunging into the unknown to
Do nothing, it would seem.
There is no clash of fists or exchange of blows, no shadowy figures darting back and forth or staggering explosions of power. There is only stillness and tranquility as I peer into the waters and see nothing but my reflection peering back. Wearing a mirrored look of fear and incredulity, my reflection is so lifelike it makes wonder if Im still inside my Natal Palace. Did I not only craft another Baledagh, but a second world for him to live in? Have I finally lost my grip on reality, and now my two worlds are colliding? Which parts of my life are real and which are imagined? How can I tell the difference? Have I been living in an illusion all this while, and now the dream is finally unravelling? What will I find when I fall through the looking glass? Will I be lying in bed back ho, safe beneath my warm covers with my dog sleeping beside , or will I wake just in ti to catch a boot to the ribs, ready to go back to work in the mines after a single nights delusional reprieve?
I suppose Ill find out soon enough.
Rising on all sides, the waters of the Azure Sea block out the sun as they close around us like the jaws of a ravenous beast, devouring the Runic Barge and all its inhabitants with a single bite. Thrown from the ships surface, I take a deep breath before my world is engulfed in cold and darkness, unable to tell up from down or left from right as I tumble about the watery void. Clutching the mouth of my hip pouch, I pray the treated leather keeps the water out and holds enough air to keep poor Blackjack from drowning, and a part of wonders if I should free the tiny black hare and hope he or she makes it out of this alive. Im sorry for getting you into this ss little buddy, and sa goes to Mama Bun. If I had stayed in my yurt and slept in with all my floofs, then we wouldnt be in this ss.
Choking back my helpless despair, I hold Unity at the ready as I face the void, unsure if Im still tumbling about or have co to a standstill. The pitch black darkness does more than obscure my sight, hindering my other senses along with it. Complete nothingness is the only way to describe it, this unnatural murkiness suppressing the feeling in my fingers and even the sound of my beating heart, leaving only with the sensation of cold isolation in this weightless imprisonnt.
Its so... Peaceful. There is no fear or anxiety, only tired acceptance as I welco Deaths embrace. No longer will I need to struggle and suffer in this hellish existence, for my ti has co. Finally, I can lay my weary head to rest and let go of everything weighing down, to shuffle off this mortal coil before I fuck up and ruin what little good I still have left in this life. Its not a bad ti to go, truth be told, so soon after securing my place as Number One Talent in the Empire. This way, my family can rember fondly as the little foundling they rescued, instead of as an imposter who deceived them with his stolen body and mories.
Its only a matter of ti before they discover the truth.
Knowing this, its as if a burden has been lifted off my shoulders, because in these last few monts of life, I no longer have to hide who I truly am. How many tis have I frozen in fear because I thought I accidentally revealed my deepest, darkest secret? How many nightmares have I awoken from where I was discovered for the fraud I really am? How many days have I spent in self-loathing because I know Im living a lie and dont deserve anything I have?
Too many to count, and for good reason.
My loving family? They took in and cared for , but would they have done the sa, been as patient and loving, open and accepting, if I didnt have the body of a child? I doubt it, and I wouldnt bla them for it either. Pragmatism is vital to survival in this world, and a broken and battered adult is far less likely to recover and much more susceptible to Spectres than a child. Case in point, . After all this ti and all the love and care Ive received, I still cant let go of the past and adapt to my new surroundings, a stubborn, set in my ways outsider who never gets anything right.
Number One Talent in the Empire? An utter joke. Im a grown-ass man competing with children, so of course Im gonna excel. Sure, the argunt could be made I started training later than most of my so-called peers, but it's silly to take pride in learning faster than developing children. Take an average twelve-year-old and fully developed adult, then have them study a topic brand new to both, and its a given the adult will master it sooner. If you take pride in being smarter than sixth grader, then maybe you should set higher personal goals for yourself.
How would Lin and Mila feel if they learned they were betrothed to soone more than twice their age? Disgust and revulsion is my best guess, because thats what I feel when Im honest with myself. Ive known them both since they were little girls, but now Im eagerly counting the days before I marry them. Without a doubt, I am a rotten, lowdown scumbag, a detestable pervert preying on young impressionable won. Forced into marriage by Akanai? What a joke. I was thrilled beyond belief when she brought it up, and if not for Bekhai tradition keeping at bay, I would have brought Mila to bed without question and used her to fulfill all my base desires, without ever considering if I truly love her and want to marry her. With Lin, its even worse because when I look at her, I see both the adorable, pig-tailed little girl she used to be and the beautiful, enchanting young woman shes grown into, giving rise to conflict between basic decency and primal urges.
And with every passing day, basic decency loses a little more ground.
In ti, my secret will get out and ruin everything, so maybe its better I die now before things go too far. My family will grieve, but theyre strong and will make it through this, even sweet Tali and Tate. Mila and Lin are both young and... mostly untouched, theyll have no trouble falling in love with soone else, soone far more deserving. This is the best ending I could expect. For a long ti now, Ive known this life was not for . I knew it when Vivek Daateis Demon showed thousands of lives, thousands of possibilities which didnt even remotely feel right. I knew it back in Sanshu, while pretending Baledaghs dreams were not my own, dreams of being a normal child without all my ntal baggage and hang ups. I dont belong in this body or this world, and regardless of what cosmic twist of fate brought here, it was undoubtedly an accident of epic proportions. In a way, my death will be a correction of sorts, a balancing of scales in the universe, removing what never should have happened in the first place. I only hope Taduk, Mama Bun, Ping Ping, and the others make it out okay, but it looks like poor little Blackjack is destined to share my fate.
Sorry little buddy. We havent known each other for long and we had a rough start considering you ate my finger, but I love you all the sa.
Warmth and affection floods through my mind as I reflect on my ti with Blackjack, of nuzzling the skittish hare and stroking those small, chubby cheeks. My thoughts turn to my other floofs and my ti spent with them, of riding roosequins and cuddling bunnies, hugging bears and wrangling wildcats. Even though theyre only instinctive, unthinking animals, their unwavering trust ans more than they will ever know, because those short monts are the only tis when I can forget all my fears and insecurities and just be . My floofs dont care about who I am or who Im pretending to be, they only know I love and feed them. They dont care about my morality and I dont have to wonder what would happen if they found out who I really am, because in their eyes, I treat them well and thats all that matters.
No wonder why I like animals more than people. Animals dont judge.
I wish I could say the sa for my family. I know they love , care deeply for , but its all based on a lie. I am not who they thought I was, not the defenceless child they took for, and even though I didnt set out to trick them, even though theyve shown nothing but patience and acceptance, how do I know things wont change if I told them the truth? No, its worse than that. I know things will change if I told them the truth, and not for the better. Overcoming my fears has always been my greatest challenge, but for good reason. I have a genuine reason to be afraid, because I am not Falling Rain of the Bekhai, nineteen year old Warrant Officer of the Empire.
Im plain old Rayne, coward and pretender.
My end is well deserved, but Blackjack is too young to die. Pulling the pouch free from my belt, I release it to the void and hope against all hope theres enough air trapped inside and itll float to the surface, escaping the attentions of whatever calamity Ive brought upon us and bringing Blackjack to safety. Having done everything I can, I muster up what little Chi I have left and reach out with Aura, because if Blackjack doesnt make it out alive, then at least the little hare will know I love him or her to pieces.
So young, we dont even know your gender. Live little Blackjack, then go find Tawny One who will hopefully be the appropriate gender for you to woo and start a family with, assuming hares and rabbits can reproduce, although theres no evidence to back it up.
Rage and indignation well up from within my chest, a curious change of pace considering I hold no anger at my passing, or the lack of rabbit/hare crossbreeds. In so ways, death cos as a relief, so why am I so angry all of a sudden? Parsing through the emotion, I realize this rage is both unfamiliar and peculiar, not the final struggles of a dying man, but sothing far more... alien. Underneath the anger is a core of exhaustion tinged with disappointnt and frustration, rejecting the love and affection I tried to convey to Blackjack. Its an anger which stems from distress and indignation, an instinctive reaction to hide the grief of betrayal, so raw and visceral my heart aches with empathy.
And just like that, Im struck by an epiphany. This is not my anger, nor is the despair entirely my own. Whatever is out there, whatever powerful monstrosity responded to my call, also knows how to use Aura to convey emotion. Whats more, its weaponized it, using an Aura of sorrow and dejection to bring its foes down without a fight.
Putting aside my amazent, I channel everything I have into my Aura and impart the sa feeling of ho and safety I projected before, knowing whatever is out there responded to this first. My efforts are t with fury and disbelief, outrage I would try and use the sa trick twice. Redoubling my efforts, I open myself up to this unknown creature and release a torrent of emotions in hopes it understands I ant it no harm, that it learns who I really am, or most likely, is so overwheld by my crippling depression it swims away to kill itself.
You think depression is your ally? You rely adapted to despair, but I was born to it, moulded by it.
Haha, humour. I laugh, but inside, I cry.
The darkness lifts as I open my eyes and find my companions suspended around in the crystal clear waters, though I see no sign of our all-powerful assailant. Limp and listless, my Teacher and the cadre of Experts look fast asleep as they float about the watery depths, all save for sweet Mama Bun whos flailing for all shes worth in a futile attempt to stay afloat. Thankful for my compulsive overthinking, I kick my bare feet and swim over to rescue her, snagging Blackjacks slowly rising pouch along the way. Wondering how Im supposed to save the others all by myself, my worries are for naught as I notice their bodies floating towards the surface, saving a world of trouble even though its only a handful of ters to swim.
The bottom of the upended Runic barge and the floating scraps of our skiff is the only evidence that remains of our dangerous encounter, so with little other choice, I head towards Ping Pings unmoving but floating body and climb atop her shell for safety. After making sure Mama Bun and Blackjack are both alive and well, I leave them to go back for Taduk, swimming past Lei Gong and Guard Leader to get him. Flipping him onto his back, I check for a pulse and cry out in sheer joy, thankful I didnt kill my Teacher with my impulsive and poorly thought out plan. There will be no more excursions out into the bay, much less out of it. Im putting my foot down, because forget about Spiritual Plants or Blobby, its not worth the risk.
Forget a droplet, Id trade an entire Ocean of Heavenly Water to keep Taduk safe. Even though Baatar, Sarnai, Alsantset and Charok adopted into their family, its only because Taduk is barely capable of caring for himself, much less Lin, and adding into the mix would have only made things worse. Hes not the most responsible person around, but hes never treated like the broken person I am, never worried I might turn Defiled and Taint him or Lin. Hell, he barely even batted an eye when I told him how close I ca to losing myself to the Spectres, just patted my cheek and said Well now you know better,. He believes in more than anyone else, and for that, I will always be grateful.
Hauling my teacher out of the water, I carefully lay him on his side in a recovery position and head back to rescue the others. Keeping an eye out for dangerous monsters and the like, I find nothing but empty water in all directions, which is not reassuring in the least. Why did the creature just up and leave? Was it overwheld by my Aura? No, impossible. Its strong enough to muscle five Peak Experts into submission, how could my paltry Aura powered by my drained reserves be enough to scare it off?
Tired and confused, I set about rescuing the comatose Experts one by one, a task made far more difficult without Chi to Reinforce my body. Saving the Tyrant and Guard Leader is simple enough, as even though theyre both Martial Warriors, theyre still won with sowhat delicate fras. Carefully keeping my hands from straying to inappropriate places, Im tempted to take a peek under Guard Leaders veil, but after a monts thought I respect her right to privacy and leave it covering her face. I do, however, take a mont to ogle their tantalizing bodies, prominently displayed since their clothes are soaking wet and plastered to their supple bodies. The way I see it, even though I got them into this ss, I also saved them from it, so I deserve to look from afar for a second or two.
...I knew it. The Tyrant totally has nipple piercings, which is super hot until you consider theyre Runic Nipple Rings which probably fire lasers or sothing. Still, Id put em in my mouth. Assuming she consents, of course. I may be perverted, but Im no molester or rapist.
Storing the ntal image for later use, I move on to the unpleasant task of saving the n. Lei Gong and Guan Suo will undoubtedly wake with a few bumps and bruises, but in my defence, one is a rotund, burly bastard who reeks of wine, while the other is a deceptively heavy half-red panda, so heavy I cant actually lift him. After multiple attempts each ending in failure, I make do with draping Guan Suo over Ping Pings shoulder, hoping the big girl doesnt co to with a start and the grumpy old man doesnt freeze to death. Though lightheaded and feeling the onset of hypothermia, I head back into the water one last ti to grab my cooking pot. Dragging it back onto Ping Pings shell, I peer in and find Sir Inky curled up in a ball, unhard and untouched throughout this endeavour. Sighing with relief, I poke the octopus to make sure hes still alive, and Sir Inky responds by slapping my hands away, his eyes still screwed shut in fear.
Well, I dont bla the poor guy.
Ready to collapse where I stand, I take one last look around to make sure nothing is awry, though Im pretty sure theres nothing I could do about it if there was. Finding nothing amiss in the waters, its Mama Buns thumping paws which draw my attention. Unusually spirited considering she just almost drowned, the tangled ss of soggy fur darts back and forth along Ping Pings shell, leaving poor Blackjack to shiver alone in the cold. Wondering if its her way of dealing with near-death experiences, I tuck Blackjack into my shirt to share warmth as I head over to calm the poor Mama Bun down.
Silly rabbit, I call, crouching down with arms open. Co here. Its okay, youre safe now.
My words go unnoticed as the crazed rabbit lunges forward with a crazed look in her eyes, sliding to a stop before turning around to try again. Following her line of sight, I notice a tiny, oval stone sitting on Ping Pings shell, no larger than a pocket watch and covered in green, grassy moss. As luck would have it, weve sohow found a second stone covered in Spiritual Algae, and driven wild by the tempting treat, Mama Bun is so excited she cant even walk up and eat it, failing to approach her stationary target ti and ti again.
No wait. Shes not missing, theres sothing keeping her away, a gentle force leading her away. Is the stone Deflecting her? Or is that the work of the Algae? Holy shit, is this all the work of an intelligent plant? My god, the implications of -
A head pops out of the stone and the world makes sense once more. Not a stone, but a shell, with a tiny, adorable turtle hidden inside. Not a jagged, armoured dinosaur like Ping Ping, but a round-shelled, smooth-skinned regular turtle with the most adorable little eyes, yellow lines running down its neck, and so much moss on its head it almost looks like it has hair. Craning its neck, the tiny turtle blinks once and its Aura surges out, enveloping in a familiar sensation of warmth, safety, love, and acceptance, tinged with a hint of hope and shrouded in plenty of hesitance.
Ho? it asks, using its Aura to communicate. Is it safe here?
Catching Mama Bun on her next pass, I hold her close and lie down with my cheek next to the turtle, too drained and tired to use my Aura to respond. Instead, I pray my actions are enough and slowly place my hand over the tiny, but powerful creature. Gently stroking it between its eye ridges, I scrape the moss away and whisper, I dont know what youre running from, and I cant promise to keep you safe, but Ill do what I can, okay?
Im not sure if it understands my words, but the turtle presses its head against my finger and closes its eyes, a sure sign of trust as Ive ever seen. Withdrawing its Aura, the turtle ambles into the palm of my hand and retreats into its shell once more. Since it doesnt seem to mind losing the Spiritual Algae, I feed what little Ive scraped off to Mama Bun while stroking the turtles shell with my thumb to collect more, marvelling once more at the trust and affection of animals. I offered safety, and this little turtle ca looking, simple as that. Sure, we had a little disagreent when he thought I was lying, but we settled it easily enough, and thats that.
Oh, I hope hes a boy, then he can fall in love and have babies with Ping Ping. True, theyre not the sa size or even the sa species of turtle, but true love overcos all.
Welco to the family Pong Pong. Sorry about your silly na, but its too adorable to pass up on.
Chapter
- End of Volu 20 -
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