Considering the fact that madness could be seen as the evolution of mutation or uncontained emotions, it stands to reason that the emotive chains could potentially bind the emotional triggers, or at the very least, stabilize the emotional waves—the plethora of dark emotions that lead to madness—thus eventually suppressing or delaying it.
Right about then, a frown crept up on my features.
But in this case, the source of madness is a "fallen being." Hence, it would require multi-layered bindings and imrsive clarity to keep it in check. And to make matters worse, madness isn’t static.
The frown on my face deepened. ’It’s fluid, it morphs, adapts, and sotis, it feeds on the very chains ant to bind it. And while emotions are discrete and comprehensible, madness is contradictory and irrational, making it harder to define or target.’
"Hence harder to keep in check."
And that wasn’t even the worst of it all.
My face paled. ’The worst thing was that binding madness could result in the emotive chains being tainted or becoming unstable, especially if the chains reflect the binder’s ntal state. In this case- my own.’
Though if that were to be the case, then I probably had nothing to fear.
The reason?
My inner state, or rather, my soul space, was sowhere even I myself couldn’t enter. As though it wasn’t mine. Apart from summoning things from it, and keeping things within, I had no other dominion over the soul space.
’I could only imagine the dreadful reason behind it.’ I shuddered at the thought.
Rubbing my temples, I muttered under my breath, "However, on the bright side of things, binding my emotions can indeed keep the [Monochro Thorn] in check. If only barely."
...I could bind the roots, but binding madness itself was like chaining molten fire. Possible, yes. But dangerous. And worse still, it may cost my sanity.
Thinking about the little experiences I’d with emotions, I thought in exasperation, ’I could indeed do all that and even more. But at the end of the day, to truly bind madness, I had to understand it.’
How could you control what you had no knowledge of? However, at the sa ti, that very understanding could bring my fractured mind closer to it. C-closer to madness.
I exhaled and stared at the lightless void above. A few monts in total silence passed by. It was then that the thought ca to my mind.
"Hmm, I haven’t even seen what the [Monochro Thorn] looks like," I muttered under my breath.
Raising a brow, I summoned the arcane relic from my soul space. Shimring specks of light surrounded for a split second, before congealing into a single ball of light. The light slowly faded into the dark, replaced by a pendant.
It was a twisted silver-back pendant in the shape of a cracked mask. Save for the fact that this mask was weeping obsidian blood, perfectly encapsulating the the of Azrael’s story. The anguish, sorrow, pain, and the madness, I could feel every single one of them.
It felt as though nurous souls were screaming right into my head, as though to tear it apart. I could have made use of the emotive chains to withstand the passive effect of the [Echoes Of Grief.] However, I wanted to see just how long I could last for.
This way, I would know just how long I could make use of the charm’s passive enchantnt, [Fervor Of The Lost], while still being a dormant Arcanist.
Sweat drops poured down the side of my face, and as the seconds ticked by, the piercing screams and the anguished cries echoed through my mind, each seeping deeper into the cracks in my mind. And eventually, just when they were on the verge of breaking through...
’Aah...’
I dismissed it.
"Ten seconds," I said, still gasping for air. Collapsing on my butt, I laid on the floor, trying to calm my rapid, strained breaths.
Ten seconds.
It wasn’t much. But in a harrowing battle, every little bit of second amounted to everything. Just a single second could determine the winner and the loser. And in retrospect, who wins and who... dies.
The thought brought a grim expression to my face.
Exhaling sharply, I glanced ahead and caught sight of the crimson haired lady. She had just finished healing everyone with her fla.
That was also the reason I had stayed away. Knowing that my body would eventually recover by itself, added to the fact that I had no idea if I could stop the chaotic fla if she used her fla on , I knew it was better to keep a safe distance.
...That was one of the major reasons why I had stayed away from the rest of the cohort for the anti. The other was because I wanted to sort through my mind previously in shambles and disarray. Which, even if only barely, I had succeeded with.
With a light sigh, I rose to my feet, and walked towards the others.
Step, Step--!
The crimson haired lady had slumped onto a dark rock, her gaze drawn towards Aezel who was watching over the unconscious Livia with an intensity that made shiver.
It was also in that mont that I thought back to the blind girl’s terrifying prowess, a cold chill running down my spine.
I finally understood why I had always had that strange sense of dread towards the blind girl, right from the very first ti that I saw her. And in addition, I finally caught a glimpse of just what she was capable of, apart from her seer’s trait.
Though as I neared them, a single thought ca to my mind:
’Is that what it ans to be an Arcanist?’
The thought filled with a sudden surge of adrenaline.
When will I be able to wield such prowess?
I couldn’t help but imagine myself surrounded by thousands of warriors, and then, every single word of mine sends blood splattering into the air, and heads skittering across the floor.
A wide grin slowly crept up my face, and I subconsciously rubbed my hands, an evil glimr flickering within my eyes. But alas,
"Hah..."
Realization, cruel and cold, slowly dawned on .
Such a broken ability would definitely have devastating consequences. As Garren had said—the more powerful an ability was, the greater the backlash one experienced when using said ability.
For Mia, it was the pain she had to go through whenever she made use of the fla. For Aezel—it was probably his inability to engage in physical combat—or at least, until he’s forced to his limits.
And then, there was the blind girl who had fainted after making use of her ability. And that definitely wasn’t the only thing.
I could feel it, sense it even, there was a more devastating effect to her ability. And the grim expression on Aezel’s face only further served to strengthen my assumptions.
...The grim expression on his face hinted at sothing worse- sothing far darker, a cost which I couldn’t quite grasp.
But for now, it was none of my concern.
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