Finding them wasn’t to difficult. Evelyn was in her office reading what was likely a philosophical book of sorts. Camille was curled up curled up in our bed, I couldn’t tell if she had breakfast quickly and went back or if she had never left in the first place. Sienna was in the kitchen, cleaning up the breakfast dishes with thodical precision.
"Can you all co to the living room?" I asked, my voice steadier than I felt. "I need to talk to you about sothing."
The simple request was enough to get their attention. Evelyn paused mid-read, she put on her blindfold, before looking at as if Psychological Insight picked up on subtle changes in my tone or body language. Camille looked up from her comfortable position with eyes that bead curiosity. Sienna set down the dish she’d been washing and turned to face directly.
"What’s wrong?" Sienna asked imdiately, because of course she could tell sothing was off just from the way I’d made the request.
"Just... co sit down. Please. All of you."
They exchanged glances, but didn’t ask any more questions. Within a few minutes, we were all gathered in the living room. Evelyn and Camille settled onto the couch while Sienna chose the chair closest to where I was standing, her posture alert and ready for whatever bomb I was about to drop.
I looked at their faces, these three incredible won who’d chosen to trust with their lives, their futures, everything that mattered to them. The weight of what I was about to tell them felt heavier than anything I’d ever carried.
"I lied to you," I said.
The words ca out blunt and graceless, nothing like the carefully prepared speech I’d been rehearsing in my head. But once they were spoken, sothing inside broke open, and the rest ca pouring out in an unstoppable flood.
"Yesterday night, when I ca back from the gym limping and covered in bruises, I told you I’d sprained my ankle working out and fallen onto so equipnt. That was a lie. I didn’t sprain my ankle. I deliberately, systematically destroyed my body for hours until I was on the verge of death, because I wanted the System to give a skill called Pain Resistance."
I could see the shock starting to register on their faces, but I didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop. The truth had been bottled up for too long, and now that the cork was out, everything was going to spill.
"And this morning, before breakfast, when Sienna saw on the couch, I was there because I had perford a second experint. I ingested enough alcohol to hospitalize most people. Enough to kill soone if they weren’t careful about the dosage. I did it deliberately, because I wanted another skill called Poison Resistance, and I knew that it was the only way to get it."
Camille’s tea cup had stopped halfway to her lips, her eyes wide with sothing that might have been admiration or horror. Evelyn had gone completely still in that way she did when processing shocking information. Sienna’s face had drained of color, her hands gripping the arms of her chair so tightly I could see her knuckles turning white.
"The assassination attempt," I continued, the words coming faster now as montum carried forward. "It made realize how vulnerable I am. How mortal. How easily soone could poison my food or torture information out of or kill in a dozen different ways that all my combat training and tactical skills couldn’t prevent. I felt... helpless. Exposed. Like I was walking around with a target painted on my back and no way to protect myself from the kinds of attacks that don’t involve direct confrontation."
I started pacing without realizing it, my body needing movent to channel the nervous energy that was building with each confession.
"So I decided to do sothing about it. To push my body past every reasonable limit until the System had no choice but to give the tools I needed to survive what’s coming. Because there is more coming. There always is. More enemies, more attempts on our lives, more situations where the difference between living and dying cos down to whether I’m tough enough to endure whatever they throw at ."
I stopped pacing and faced them directly, forcing myself to et their eyes even though what I saw there made my chest tighten with guilt.
"I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t let it happen. You would have tried to stop , or find safer alternatives, or convince that there had to be a better way. And maybe you would have been right. But I also knew that safer alternatives would take months or years to develop these skills, and I didn’t think we had that kind of ti."
"Does Alexis know?" Camille asked quietly. Her voice was carefully controlled, but I could hear the strain underneath.
"She found out a couple of hours ago," I admitted. "She figured it out during the dical examination—my injuries were healing too fast, my story had too many holes, my body language gave away when she started asking questions. But she told she wouldn’t say anything to you. She said telling you was my responsibility."
I ran my hands through my hair, a nervous gesture that betrayed just how much this conversation was costing .
"And she was right. You deserved to hear this from , not discover it through dical reports or overheard conversations. You deserved honesty from the beginning, and instead I gave you carefully crafted lies designed to protect you from worrying about decisions I’d already made."
The silence that followed was deafening. I could practically see them processing what I’d told them, working through the implications and trying to reconcile this information with the person they thought they knew.
"I feel pathetic," I said, because the silence was becoming unbearable and because it was true. "This isn’t the first ti I’ve done this. This exact pattern of making dangerous choices, hiding them from you, getting caught, promising to do better, and then repeating the whole cycle the next ti a crisis cos up. I keep breaking my promises to you, and I keep telling myself that each situation is special enough to justify it."
I looked specifically at Sienna, because I knew she’d been through this with more tis than anyone else.
"How many tis have we had conversations where you’ve expressed concerns about the risks I take, and I’ve assured you that I’ll be more careful? How many tis have I promised to keep you inford about anything that might affect our safety? How many tis have I looked you in the eyes and sworn that I’ve learned my lesson, only to prove a few weeks or even days later that I haven’t learned anything at all?"
Evelyn was the first to respond, her voice thoughtful but strained. "I understand why you felt you needed these skills. The assassination attempt... it highlighted vulnerabilities that traditional training can’t address. And if these resistance abilities actually work the way you think they do, they could save not just your life, but all of ours."
She paused, choosing her words carefully.
"But the deception..." She shook her head. "Rey, we’re supposed to be partners in this. All of this. That ans trusting us with the hard decisions, not protecting us from them."
Camille nodded in agreent, setting down her cup with care. "If I’m being honest...I’m not angry about the experints themselves. In fact, I’m kind of impressed that you found a way to trick the System into giving you completely a new categories of skills. That’s brilliant, in a completely insane way."
Her expression grew more serious.
"What bothers is that you assud we’d try to stop you without even giving us the chance to understand why you thought it was necessary. You made the decision for all of us about what we could and couldn’t handle knowing."
Their reactions were almost exactly what I’d expected. It was disappointnt tempered by understanding, frustration mixed with reluctant admiration for the results I’d achieved. It was the sa pattern I’d seen from Alexis, and it gave hope that maybe this conversation wouldn’t end with them walking away from everything we’d built together.
But throughout this entire exchange, Sienna hadn’t said a word.
She sat in her chair like a statue, her face carefully blank in a way that was more terrifying than any emotional outburst would have been. I knew that expression. It was the look she wore when she was so hurt and angry that she couldn’t trust herself to speak without saying sothing she might regret later.
"Sienna?" I said softly, taking a step toward her chair. "Please say sothing."
She remained silent, but I could see the tension building in her shoulders, the way her jaw was clenched tight with the effort of holding back whatever she was feeling.
"I know I’ve disappointed you," I continued, desperation creeping into my voice as her continued silence stretched on. "I know this is exactly what you were afraid would happen. I know I’ve broken your trust in the worst possible way, and I don’t expect you to forgive easily. But please, just... talk to . Tell what you’re thinking."
Still nothing. The silence was becoming physically painful, like a pressure building in my chest that made it hard to breathe.
"I’m sorry," I said, the words coming out in a rush. "I’m so sorry, Sienna. I know sorry doesn’t fix anything, I know I’ve said it before and then gone right back to the sa behavior, but I an it. I really do. I promise—"
Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain...
One mont I was mid-sentence, pouring my heart out in what felt like the most sincere apology I’d ever given...the most sincere apology I could have ever given. The next mont, my head was snapped to the side and my cheek was burning with the sharp sting of her palm making contact at full force.
The sound echoed through the living room like a gunshot, leaving an imdiate silence that felt different from the tension that had preceded it.
The slap ca so fast I hadn’t seen it coming.
I straightened slowly, raising my hand to touch my cheek where the imprint of her fingers was already starting to throb. My mind was struggling to process what had just happened, like a computer trying to run a program with corrupted data.
Did... she just slap ?
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