Chapter 46: Feeling Rejected
My eyes remained glued on the bed fra ceiling, thoughts and images overriding my mind, so clangorous and sleep was so far from my eyes, they were as wide as daylight, maybe from surprise... or pure disappointnt.
’I cannot give you a kiss on the lips just yet... For when I taste those lips it will be my undoing’
His words kept playing in my head like a lody. What exactly does he an by that? One minute he was willing to show
what a kiss is but he denied. Doesn’t he want to kiss ? Is that it? In all my life I never thought I would feel utter disappointnt until now... because of a kiss.
I sighed heavily turning to my side, I don’t think I will have a shut-eye, my mind kept exploring different reasons why he didn’t kiss . My features turned sad... maybe he doesn’t want to and just said those words to avoid it, maybe he doesn’t feel the need to kiss . That thought alone was enough to bring a spear to my heart. I ntally scolded myself for making my body feel worse than I have ever had. But what else could I think?
I buried my face in my pillow, the worst feeling I cannot fathom engulfing , it was pure sadness and I have no idea how to overco it. It was torture on a different scale, maybe way worse.
☆☆☆
I went on my tip toe placing a book I have just finished reading back to the exact spot I took it from, my finger searching for the next one that was when I heard a footstep, just when I grabbed a book I turned to the sound and my ti paused when I set my eyes on green ones.
William, standing as majestic and sinfully beautiful, appeared to be keeping books in order today, there was a height of floating books behind him and a floating scroll and quill, but the book I spotted looked quite different from the ones I always see, they were darker and had a gloomy feeling to it, it even had a strange aura too, I wonder what those books could possibly be but I was overly distracted by staring at William’s handso feature.
It’s official... there was no way I would get used to seeing his face every day, it felt like the first ti all over again. I gulped, knowing I should say sothing for I knew it was rude to stare long... but whenever it cos to William I cannot control it. All my life back at the orphanage I have always been taught to cast my eyes down for they hated it when I looked at them and feared I would curse them when I made eye contact.
But that part of
seems to be changing ever since I ca here, maybe because I wasn’t seen as a curse here but as an actual person.
"G-Good morning master," I said, holding my book close to my chest.
"Morning Ava" he ran a hand to his hair and I gulped watching as his silver hair pushed to one side. It was hot and my breath was picking up. How can one be so beautiful without even trying? The way his strong gaze pinned
down, it was just too powerful.
I bit my bottom lip, his voice... Dear gods! It was suddenly awkward now because the air was tight. Yesterday after what happened, William dismissed
and I was hurt by that, I was still hurt and maybe slightly angry, because of the fact he won’t kiss . Call
silly.
His beautiful face won’t convince
otherwise.
"E-Excuse !" I said quickly walking away or maybe I was running, how extrely stupid of
but I couldn’t bear it any longer.
I stopped when I made sure I was a far distance away from William trying to catch my breath, that was overly awkward, and thinking about that made
feel that the ground should just swallow
whole right now.
I turned hoping to see William, there was one part of
that actually wanted William to co after ... how ridiculous of
to think of such... I must be daydreaming, what happened yesterday was just a lesson and an experint he called it. It was just to settle my curiosity.
I rember vividly well what the book says, both partners must want it and it was not ant to be one-sided. Maybe it was one-sided between us. William wanted only to satisfy my curiosity but couldn’t go with it because he does not want it.
fгee??eb??ove??.c??m
I felt more heartbreaking than yesterday and it suddenly beca ntally draining for . If only I didn’t bring that book to his table in an attempt to gain his attention then maybe I wouldn’t have felt like this... I feel like my heart is being tightened, I should feel nothing because it was nothing but curiosity on my side then why? Why does it hurt so bad? I feel like I have been rejected without knowing why.
"Young miss?"
I turned. "Severus," I said with wide eyes, I didn’t hear anyone coming in.
"Are you alright?"
"Y-Yes I’m fine just..." I sighed heavily, giving up trying to mask it. "The truth is I’m not sure I’m in the mood for books"
"Hmm," he made a sound like he was thinking. "Then maybe you should join us for brunch"
"Brunch?"
"Yes it’s almost 12 noon you see"
"Oh"
"Maybe that will give you so air because you look like you would pass out any minute, did you and the master have a disagreent?"
I blushed. "N-N-No!"
He barked a laugh.
"It’s not funny!"
"Forgive
young miss, but you were so cute saying that"
I blushed.
"Well, whatever it is..." he said with a smile on his lips and tilted his head to the side. "The Master might be distant sotis..." He cast his eyes down. "I was even shocked when I saw him this morning without his mask, but I was relieved too"
"Relieved?"
He raised his gaze. "That the wind CAN make the silver flower move after all and maybe more. I’m glad you’re by my master’s side Young Miss"
I stared at him puzzled but in order not to seem too confused I offered a smile. "I would love to have brunch with you guys"
"Perfect" he grinned.
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