Chapter 120: Pain
Pain
A straightforward word but with a aning so profound and cluttered and yet it couldn’t explain my present situation, not even that simple word could explain how I feel. I feel like I was at the rim of a cliff and the little thing holding
was nothing but a tiny rope and then it snapped. It snapped
Sothing fractured within , the exact mont he took off his mask, and reality sunk. An unlit reality I wasn’t quite sure I could accept but yet here it lies before , like the easiest thing ever and yet the most haunting thing ever.
William
His sad eyes were on
like he could see , the sadness drowning into mine and he looked younger and not the mature William I know but it doesn’t make any difference.
It’s him
William
He was the one who abandoned , all along it was him.
I awoke with a gasp, searching for air and it felt like my lungs needed it badly. I was too focused on trying to breathe as I held my throat, not making note of the voice telling
to calm down.
"Breathe, sweetness, breathe"
I did just that, asuring my breathing and not taking it too far, and then the air was back, my vibrating body settled, and then I noticed his arms around , his tight hold like I was a possession, his smooth voice speaking to my ears.
And that was all it too, I pushed off him, away from his hold, and drew further away from him while pulling my knees to my chest, my rapid breathing coming again.
"Ava?" His voice was a mix of confusion and surprise.
I said nothing because my increase in breathing ca again, I felt like I was having a panic attack.
"Ava, you need to-"
"Stay away!" it ca off
before I could think, I don’t know... sothing just snapped within
when he reached for . He instantly freezes, almost like he didn’t expect that outburst from
like he couldn’t believe his ears.
"Ava," he said my na again with disarray and also a pain in his eyes, a pain that I felt too, but I was too lost to give the faintest damn about it.
"Did you have a bad dream?" He asked softly, keeping his distance. "I’m here I won’t hurt you"
You did hurt
"Tell , I’m here"
And yet you left
Was everything all a lie? His coming to the mortal realm to purchase
after years of cruelty, after he dumped
at the orphanage, was it all a play? I knew what I saw, it wasn’t a dream... it was a mory, everything was true and that cannot be false. It was William, he was the one who abandoned
and yet all these years I thought I never had a loved one but I did.
I HAD William
And yet he left... because it was my destiny?
"Leave
alone" was what ca from
as my bloodshot eyes settled on him, the tears silently falling, my cheeks were wet and I knew I had been crying for a long ti now.
William searched my eyes, for the pain and confusion spelled the very emotions in his eyes. But I gave nothing away, only my teary gaze staring at him like a demon in the dark.
There are demons
Even the one closest to you
’What do the voices say?’ the man’s voice ca to my ear. A voice said in my head... the sa voice that belonged to that man, I knew what the voice said... They were calling.
"If that is what you wish" William’s voice broke
out of my thoughts, his features suddenly turning unreadable, back to the faceless mask he always wore, but the pain spelled different, they danced in his eyes like a storm, but I only looked away not having it in my heart to look at him.
I think what snapped was my heart
Confusion
Pain
Anger
It was when I heard the doors slamd shut I broke into a storm of tears, I didn’t care who heard my loud cries but I just needed to let it out, to at least let my pain out, but after years of constantly crying I knew it doesn’t take the pain away but only relief it for a while, that was what I needed right now... so relief.
It felt like my heart would give out, I curled myself on the bed like a ball and cried like a child, I cried like a toddler who was abandoned.
I’m lost
I’m confused
I’m in pain
The back of my head told
that what I saw was a lie... that it should be a lie and William would never do such a thing but I rembered the books about the Isle of Pathways, they were sacred, lies were beneath that place and whatever it shows you is always true. I called that place because subconsciously I needed clarity, it was a realization that dawned on .
Who am I?
A witch?
An on?
A Fairy?
A wife?
Were those all a lie too? Was everything about
all a lie? Why? Just why?!
Just my cries and ... still searching for relief, but it never ca... so I cried the entire night. Replaying the image over and over again until my heart shattered completely and I scread in tears at the pain in my heart, for it felt like it would just stop beating. Lost and drowned in nothing but tears, replaying the image just to clarify that I might be seeing things... but no, even when I close my eyes I see the sa thing.
The sa scene
Feel the sa pain
The relief will not co anymore, only the pain and cruelty of a truth I was finding hard to believe, and yet it was there.
What is real?
Maybe what is real is that I’m a lost girl.
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