"Roll it up and shove it up in your ass," a fat man said, then ended the call rudely.
It was a beautiful sunny day. Adjusting his pants while grabbing the small bag on his waist, Fatty Zhang walked towards his post in the street, and as he was walking, his phone rang suddenly.
*ring-ring*
"Hello, BingBing, How are you?" Fatty, receiving the phone call, asked smilingly with a lot of affection,
"Shut up, Fatty. What did you say to my husband last night?" BingBing’s angry voice ca in.
"Well, don’t grunt like a Hungarian lesbian. I didn’t say much, I just asked him if he’s doing the arduous task without asking you anything," Fatty said as he was walking towards his favorite post, which was just past the rail line.
"What do you an, fatty? Are you out of your fucking mind? Explain yourself. He was crying the whole night yesterday." BingBing’s angry voice reverberated in her small apartnt.
But Fatty was chill, and a smile hung on his face even after hearing her scream from his phone.
"There’s no need for an explanation, as I’ve just shared a childhood story with him—nothing much." Fatty calmly saying this, stopped in front of the rail track as the train was about to co. He stopped because he didn’t want to accidentally die under a train like an idiotic TikToker.
"Yes, tell about that story, motherfucker. My husband was crying all night hearing that story, which is supposed to be ’nothing much.’"
"Alright, The story goes like this: When I was a child, my father used to ask my mother if she was enjoying it or if he was doing the hard work for nothing." "Fatty," he said smilingly, as he wanted to laugh out loud, but he held back after seeing a beggar coming towards him.
The man was a beggar who begged on the street. Fatty pulled out his wallet to give so change to the beggar as a part of good karma.
"So, what does that an?" BingBing’s fierce voice rang out. Startled by the sharp tone, Fatty hurriedly handed the beggar three hundred-dollar bills, money he wanted to bet on MMA tonight.
"Shit!!... Yeah... so your husband asked the sa question as you, so I answered him. My father used to ask it when I was pretending to be asleep at night," Fatty said while wanting to grab the money back, but a sudden rush of beggars ca in, and they started to fight among themselves. Fatty’s almost-grabbing hand returned to his pocket, as a pro MMA fan, he was actually enjoying the fight.
"You an sex? Your parents had sex when you pretended to be asleep?" BingBing asked, as she was not sure what to make of this shaless fatty or his ugly story.
"Yes, and I was joking, of course, so your husband was drunk, and he said sothing that even made feel stupid, so it’s natural he should cry at night," Fatty said as he watched the final battle of the beggars. The last two of them were standing, and blood was dripping from their whole bodies. They didn’t even care about the dollars anymore, nor did Fatty, because he was getting his dollar’s worth of entertainnt.
"So, what did he say?" BingBing asked again, this ti patiently, as Fatty was not a good man, she didn’t even know him till two weeks ago.
"Your husband said... wait, wait, fuck!" Fatty’s panicked voice echoed through the phone. Just monts ago, as the train was closing, one of the two beggars who were last standing among the fifteen shoved the other onto the tracks. The train crushed the poor beggar, and Fatty saw a splash of blood rise into the air.
"What?" BingBing asked as she heard Fatty’s panicked voice.
"Nothing. You don’t see this in UFC. I suggest showcasing this content for increased entertainnt value," Fatty remarked, as he witnessed the smallest beggar quickly seize the dollars and flee.
"What are you saying, fatty?"
"Nothing, So, as I told my story to your husband, he said he once heard his mother and father talking too in his sleep. His mother was saying, ’Your cock is too small, I will buy a nine-inch dildo and shove it up in your ass.’ That’s what your husband said to ." Fatty said as he casually crossed the rail track with a slightly overweight jump, which was now red with blood.
"He said this to you? What a jerk," BingBing said, as she had no idea what just Fatty did.
"And that’s not even the best part," Fatty said smilingly.
"So... What’s the best part?" BingBing asked curiously.
"So, it turns out his dad had a bit of a revelation and decided he liked the whole ’dildo in the butt’ thing, which led him to embrace his gay side. anwhile, his mom is now shacked up with his stepdad. And guess what? After a little ’experint’ with his stepdada few days ago, he also realized he’s on the sa team! As his original father, Fatty laid it all out there in a way that you could totally picture it.
"What nonsense are you spouting, fatty?" BingBing’s dreaded voice ca over.
"Yes, so don’t let him enter your ass, and don’t enter his ass either," Fatty said.
"I... I gave him my dildo yesterday, he asked for it for so kind of scientific purposes." BingBing’s voice was shaky.
"Well, good luck," Fatty smiled and then ended the phone call.
Thirty years old this year, Fatty was a traffic police officer in Shanghai and was very serious about working here until he retired.
He was wearing a typical traffic uniform, a sky blue shirt, the buttons in the belly were almost bursting open with the fat in his body.
As he stood in his post, he smiled and looked at the cars and bikes that were moving past him.
Nice, the road is as busy as ever. I’ll be as honest as possible today too.
Thinking this, Fatty smiled, retrieved his speed gun from his waist-mounted bag, and pointed it at the cars. The indicator indicated that everything was normal and that no cars were speeding.
Fatty sighed with regret, as when he was first stationed here as traffic police, he was very reluctant, but after getting this job, he has almost single-handedly reford the whole Bund area of Shanghai. There was almost no speeding now.
Fatty then looked at his watch. It was a Rolex, which was silver in color. The ti was exactly eight in the morning. A young traffic police officer ca running after seeing Fatty from afar.
Reviews
All reviews (0)