Roommates With Benefits [BL] Chapter 91: Congratulations, I Played Myself

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My mouth went dry. "Oh."

Oh no.

She moved closer, slowly, her hips swaying as she approached. The nervous smile on her face stirred sothing in my stomach because she was putting herself out there, vulnerable and ready.

"Is this okay?" she asked softly, stopping right in front of .

Before I could answer, she climbed onto my lap, straddling . Her thighs pressed warmly against mine as she settled in.

Her hands slid up my chest, fingers curling into my shirt as she leaned in close. I could feel her warmth through the lace, the softness of her breasts pressing against with every breath.

"We’ve been together for over a month," she whispered, her voice sultry. "You’ve been such a gentleman... never pushing, never rushing for sex like other guys. I really appreciate that."

Her lips brushed my ear. "But I want you, Oliver. I’ve wanted you for so long."

And then she kissed .

It started soft, her warm lips on mine, her tongue teasing for a way in. When I parted my lips, the kiss deepened.

Fuck...what do I do now?

I shouldn’t have accepted her invite to co up to her dorm room...I should have just co up so random excuse and made a fucking run for it.

She moaned softly into my mouth, swaying against in a slow, sensual rhythm. One hand tangled in my hair, while the other slipped under my shirt, her pink acrylic nails grazing my skin.

I tried to respond, I really did...I was her boyfriend after all. She was stunning, eager, and obviously turned on by of all people...her body warm and soft against mine, her breath coming quicker as she rocked against .

For a few seconds, I focused on her, the way her body pressed against and her tongue danced with mine, the little sounds she made.

But it wasn’t working.

All I could think about was Damien.

The mory of his kiss on the kiss cam, possessive and hungry, claiming. The feel of his body wrapped around mine that morning, warm and solid. The low, rough sound of his voice when he teased .

The way he looked at .

This... this felt wrong. Like I was betraying sothing I had no right to betray.

No...no I couldn’t do this.

I gently pushed her back, hands on her shoulders, breathing heavily.

"lanie... wait. I’m sorry."

Then another flash of mory hit fast, waking up tangled under a shared blanket, his arm across my waist, that specific sense of safety that ca with that weight, the warmth that lingered with throughout the days like sothing I’d borrowed but never returned.

Damien laughing in the kitchen over my burnt ran. Damien snatching bacon off my plate like he owned the place. Damien pulling closer in his sleep without waking, a small gesture that ant nothing and yet everything.

Damien... Damien... Damien.

My chest tightened. Panic surged through , flooding everything at once.

This was wrong...not lanie—but ! Sothing was off with . Why couldn’t I focus on the person right in front of , kissing , offering sothing real and vulnerable?

Why did it feel like I was going through the motions rather than actually living in the mont? And why did so small part of feel like I was cheating?

Cheating on who? Damien wasn’t my boyfriend. And I had a sexy ass girlfriend who actually liked for crying out loud!

Yet, the feeling lingered, strong, uncomfortable, and impossible to shake off.

I pulled back, my breath uneven, not even realizing I’d done it until I was a few inches away from her.

lanie froze. Confusion replaced her smile, dimming the warmth in her expression.

"Oliver?"

I stared at the floor, unable to et her gaze.

The silence was suffocating, heavy and imdiate, filling the space the mont sothing went wrong, neither of us knowing just how wrong it was.

"Did...did I do sothing wrong?" Her voice was small.

I looked up quickly. "No! God, no, lanie. No!"

Her face fell at the edges. "Then what happened?"

I didn’t know. Or maybe I did, and that was the real problem.

"I—" The words caught in my throat. How could I explain this? That she’d done everything right, she was wonderful and brave, sitting there being honest about her needs with and yet none of that changed the fact that sothing within felt completely wrong the mont our lips t?

"I’m... sorry," I said again.

Her shoulders slumped, not in anger, just hurt, quiet and visible. That sohow felt worse than if she’d yelled.

"I thought maybe you were just waiting for the right mont," she said, almost to herself.

The guilt hit hard.

"I’m sorry," I said a third ti, feeling pathetic and helpless, but it was true.

Eventually, I stood up. "I should go."

She nodded slowly and quietly, not looking at , and I slipped out without saying anything else because I had nothing else to offer.

The walk back to Preston Hall felt longer than it should have. The campus was mostly dark, streetlights casting long shadows on the sidewalks, other students passing by without noticing. My thoughts were a chaotic ss.

I’d hurt lanie, whether I ant to or not. Whether I saw it coming or not. A part of probably had, given how distracted I’d been and how I tried to avoid overlapping with her too often...I’d still hurt her.

Shit, I was such an asshole!

And the worst part, the part that just kept coming back, no matter how hard I tried to redirect my thoughts, was that I finally understood why.

Because the whole ti she kissed , soft and warm and aning every second, all I could think about was soone else.

That realization hit hard, weighing on my chest like a stone that wasn’t going anywhere. She’d been right there, beautiful, tender, and vulnerable, offering sothing genuine. And every part of my attention was sowhere else entirely.

She truly deserved better than ... I should have ended things with her, but I was too afraid of hurting her.

But I ended up still hurting her in the end whether I wanted to or not.

I kept walking, the campus quiet around , my own footsteps echoing in the night. Underneath the guilt and confusion, there was a small, terrified certainty I’d been running from for weeks, and now, I had finally run out of road.