"Diary of Ralyn Steelheart." Those are the only words boldly written on the first page with ink as red as blood.
I see. It’s not surprising that soone like him kept a diary.
The paper makes a flapping sound as I flip open the next page.
My eyes widen.
This language.. It’s not English, but I understand it. Even when I never learned any other language apart from English back on Earth.
It must be because of Ralyn’s fragnted mories, or the fact that his brain can’t easily forget sothing that had been cramd and learned years ago.
I slowly and cautiously trace the surface of the page with my right palm. Then I squint my eyes as I begin to read the hieroglyphic-like language that reminds of the patterns on that brass candle.
=====
Hello, Mr Diary.. My na is Ralyn Steelheart. And from today, I’m going to tell you eeeverything that happens in my life! It was Aunty Rachael who gave that idea.
Today is the 300th day of the 100th year of the Literian calendar.
My birthday. I’m 5 years old now!
Today was odd, though. No one wished a happy birthday. Even mommy.. She’s begun to avoid , too, just like Daddy and my big siblings. The only person who wished a happy birthday was Aunty Rachael! Oh, I love Aunty Rachael so much! But.. when she gifted this book as my first and only birthday present.. She looked sad. I wonder why.. Maybe it’s because the light didn’t shine when I touched that crystal thing.
=====
Hello Diary!
So, it’s been about twenty days since my fifth birthday, which I’d been looking forward to my whole life! But, I’m still wondering and waiting.. When am I going to start sword training? That’s the whole reason I’d been waiting to turn five, to swing swords like my cool eldest bro!
It’s supposed to begin imdiately when I turn five. That’s what Aunty Rachael said.
But, when I asked Jian, my eldest bro, he called ’disgusting,’ I wonder why? I’m not even slling, and I bathed veryyyy well too!
Well, I’m sure he didn’t an it. Maybe he just had a bad day! I’m gonna keep waiting.. Maybe I’ll be able to train soon. I can’t wait, Mr Diary! I’m brimming with excitent!
=====
Hi Diary.
It’s the 57th day of the 102nd year of the Literian calendar. Almost two years since my fifth birthday.
And, honestly, I’m starting to lose hope. I doubt that I’d ever be able to learn swordsmanship.
Am I just not good enough? Why am I being treated this way? Why do things like this always happen to ? I just wanted to learn swordsmanship like everyone else in our family.
Now, no one talks to . Not even my mom. She.. I don’t even rember the last ti I saw her. I’m afraid of her now, becaus.... because I heard from Rachael today — the only person who still visits and speaks with — that mom gave birth to another child about ten days ago. I think it’s a girl.
But I don’t care though. I don’t even co out of my quarters anymore. Aunt Rachael said that my Fath– the Patriarch ordered so. That I shouldn’t ever leave my quarters.
It’s been about a year since I last stepped foot outside of my quarters. I don’t even know anything because I’ve been here..
I can only ask these questions:
Am I that much of a burden to them? Am I really... disgusting?
=====
Hello, Diary, my good friend. I have a lot of things to tell you about today..
Today, the 8th day of the 103rd year of the Literian calendar, I found out sothing cruel. Aunt Rachael told that my birthday three years ago was the day the amount of Chi — the life force that every living being carries within them — I possessed in my soul was to be asured in accordance with the Steelheart tradition.
That large crystal that I touched back then was supposed to shine a bright light, signifying that I have a good amount of Chi in . But.. it didn’t shine at all... and...
Now I get it.
It explains everything. The reason I’ve not been allowed to train in swordsmanship, the reason why my siblings treat like trash, the reason I’ve not been able to leave my quarters, the reason I don’t even know what my Father looks like anymore. And also the reason why.. mom. I haven’t– she hasn’t spoken with ever since that day.
It’s because having a weak Chi ans inferiority in this household, where every mber has a high amount of Chi.
And I’m inferior. The lowest of the low. Now I know that they were all right.
I am truly disgusting.
=====
Diary.. dear diary.
Today was... sothing else.
It was the 300th day of the 105th year of the Literian calendar. My 10th birthday.
And, as usual, I got no birthday wishes or anything.
Oh. I did get a birthday wish from Rachael. She hugged . And she looked at with those sa warm eyes she always did. Those eyes that had pity etched in them.
I’m tired. I’m tired of staying here, all alone. I don’t want to live here anymore. I don’t belong here, these people aren’t my family.
I want to go outside. To see the world and its fullness. To see those places that I’ve only read about in the books that Rachael always gifted for my birthday. Those books that talk about lands filled with water, oceans they call it. Deserts, I want to ride on a horse and travel around the world.
But alas, I’m stuck here. In the four walls of this Steelheart Estate.
I’ve begun to dream. Maybe.. just maybe I can leave this place. To run away.
But the Patriarch called for today. I was quite shocked that he still rembered that I existed.
I t him. That man. That dreadful man who looked like the word death itself. In front of him, I couldn’t even stand properly. I couldn’t..
I’m scared of him. And I’m scared of what he said. He told that I’m going to participate in so kind of tournant once I’m fifteen. A tournant that all my elder brothers passed through..
And if I should fail to do well in that tournant, then he’d banish from the household and strip of the na Steelheart.
Good right, Diary? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Until he said that if I ca in dead last, I’d be beheaded.
And the tournant is like a sword-fighting competition. A competition!
When I haven’t even held a sword ever since I was born! A competition with our branch families 15 year olds that have been training since they were five!
What the hell is this??! Why ?! Why am I being treated this way?!
I’ll probably... no, I know I’ll be dead last. So that’s how I’d die? Just like that? Without ever having to..
I feel.. I feel caged.
=====
39th/108th/Literian cal
Diary, today I was called by my mother, whom I haven’t seen in years.
She apparently forgot about and just wanted to see how I look now. After she took a good look at , she sent away.
I didn’t even feel anything when I saw her. I’ve long lost any type of love a child can feel for his mother. At least that’s what my heart tells .
The breeze outside was soothing today, I don’t rember the last ti I went outside. It felt refreshing. Truly refreshing. It was like a dog finally stepping out of its cage for the first ti.
On my way to my quarters, I saw a beautiful field. Like a garden. And in that garden, I saw a knight. He was practicing his swordsmanship, and it was beautiful. Then, I rembered the tournant — probably the day of my death — was coming up two years from now. So I had a crazy idea on the spot.
Should I really allow myself to die when I can change that? If I train hard enough, then even with a weak Chi like mine, I can at least try to put up a fight in the tournant and not be dead last. Then I can be banished. Free from my cage.
So I walked up to the knight to plead and beg him to train . I stuttered as I spoke because I’m not used to interacting with people. Even when I interacted with the Patriarch, I only nodded or shook my head. Even Rachael is getting worried.
The knight’s na is Dinan. And he refused to train , so I ca back ho.
Haha, it was a good idea. Too bad.
=====
59th/109th/Literian cal
Diary.
Today again. I found Dinan again today. It’s the fourth ti I’ve co across him. I was on my way back from sneaking out to find Rachael to tell her to get new books.
He isn’t a bad guy, honestly. I pestered him every single ti I t him, but he never snapped at , even when he knew he could do so and go unpunished. Instead, he politely turned down every single ti.
I really need to start learning the sword before the tournant next year.
=====
20th/109th/Literian cal
Diary!
Finally! He accepted after countless pleas! He agreed to teach swordsmanship! And... I didn’t know Dinan was the Vice Captain of the Steelheart forces. He’s a guy with the power to kill whenever he wants. But he doesn’t, and I’m grateful.
I’m learning swordsmanship in that field first thing tomorrow morning!! Man, I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep properly with all this excitent.
Now, Diary, I have a little hope. Hope that I might not die. Hope that I may one day exit this.. this cage that I’m trapped in.
Even though the tournant is about 200 days from now, I’m not scared. Because Dinan is strong. I do not doubt his abilities and capabilities.
Yes, tomorrow is the beginning of my journey to escape my cage.
=====
As I read the last sentences written in the diary, I freeze.
My eyes just stare at those last words of his. Of Ralyn’s.
A tear squirms inside my right eye, fighting against my will to break free.
And I lose. The lone tear slides down my right cheek, dropping solemnly on the diary in my hands.
"He’s not a coward. He’s stronger than ." I whisper, cleaning the tear as I stand up and drop the diary back on the bed.
My heartbeat is calm and stable. Sa with my breathing. My entire body is in perfect condition.
He saw a world in which he was caged and attempted to escape that cage.
Whereas I..
I walk toward the desk and take a seat, resting my head on it.
"Today is the 21st day of the 109th year of the Literian calendar. And.. Ralyn Steelheart is no more. He has escaped his cage." I mutter to myself, twisting my silver hair. "And I, Viriel Radcliffe, have entered a new one."
Now I understand his fragnted mories. He... knows nothing about this world. He has been trapped here all his life. I–
Knock~! Knock~!
I raise my head imdiately when I hear the knock on my room door. "Who?!"
"It’s , Young Master Ralyn." A voice chis in. A beautiful, lodic voice.
My heart llows, spreading a weird feeling around my body as my face lights up with a smile.
"Rachael?"
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