Returning back to the room with all the portraits, the girls settle down to have a discussion. They stop right in front of the large, intimidating boss door. Each adventurer takes a glance toward it, anxiety brewing within.
The threat looming over their head is real and closer than ever before. It’s no longer just waiting off at the end of the dungeon. They’re here, and the ti is now.
“Girls,” As I start, each of the three... well... two of them, make a determined expression. Sam is still just sort of vacantly smiling And Zutiria is still her usual brand of blank, so... at least ri looks very determined and passionate.
“You’ve done a hell of a job so far. I know in retrospect that so parts of this dungeon were more comical than we expected. But for every room that ended up a joke, you all overca a real, legitimate threat that could have killed you- and you did it without batting an eye. I want you to know more than anything else before I send you off into that next room that I’m incredibly proud of each and every one of you.”
Sam starts laughing, her cheeks flushing even in her goofy state. “Aw, c’mon, Daddy! It’s all cause we got you to boss us around like so sort of, uh, boss-man!”
“T-That’s right, Master! We wouldn’t have made it this far if you weren’t helping us!” ri pumps her fists up, trying to show how serious she is.
‘Indeed. I’m terrible at thinking for myself unless there’s a big, strong man telling what to do.’ Zutiria says with the best sarcastic smile her doll-like face is capable of.
The kitties all have themselves a laugh at that, especially Snow. She seems to think it’s hysterical, and I have to give the drugged-up, stressed-out maid a minute to catch her breath. “It’s funny because she’s so much stronger than you,” Snow snorts. “Weak, little, baby man...!”
...Right.
“Girls, just let complint you, alright? You can all suck my dick when you get ho. There’s no need to lay it on so thick when I’m trying to be serious.” Their love makes my heart race, and it becos harder to fight back the butterflies in my stomach. I’m about to send them into the most dangerous room in the entire dungeon.
“Sam... when we t, you couldn’t lift your sword without fucking up, yet now you’re halfway decent with the potential to beco even greater,” Sam smiles vapidly.
“Zutiria... you went from years of self-enforced silence to a veritable spell-slinger.” Zutiria raises her hand and begins twiddling with her sweaty, lavender-colored hair. A slight blush forms on the Mage’s face as she looks down at the floor.
“And ri... you’ve gone from being the most timid little thing I’ve ever seen into a fierce shield which stands firm.” ri, too, finds herself overwheld by my praise and hides her increasing blush behind her tower shield.
“...So when I say this next part of my speech, please, PLEASE don’t take it as implying I don’t believe in you.” As I knew they would, everyone’s becos much more concerned upon hearing my transitional statent.
To my left, Snow hangs her head. She’s a brilliant woman, even while high on catnip. She knows what I’m about to say. Behind , Peri and Cherry react similarly.
“If I give the order, I want you to use a Returner and co ho the exact second I tell you to- no questions asked.”
Sam’s mouth drops open wide, and she speaks up, “But the kitties! And the puppies! And the bunnies! And the-”
“You’re more important to than them.”
Zutiria wastes no ti and nods her head. ‘Of course, Sir. It’s only logical.’
“I... I don’t know if I can just...” ri struggles with her duty as a Shield Maiden. “They need our help, Master!”
‘We’re no good to them dead, ri. A tactical retreat just ans we can attempt to help again in the future.’ Zutiria reaches up to stroke ri’s hair, sowhat easing her conflicted mind.
Eventually, ri nods her head, too.
For the slightest mont, I almost think I see Sam’s face contorted in surprise. But if it did happen, it returns to being a conflicted smile short after. “But... Pretty kitty and Cherry and Peri will be so sad!”
Snow steps up to my defense. “Mistress Samantha, I’m grateful for everything that the four of you have done, but I’m not expecting you all to die on our behalf, nyaa. Just promise the Myaster you’ll do as he says. Beastfolk are strong. Even if things go wrong and you have to pull out of the Pimpfort, we’ll manage... sohow. I promise.” Apparently, being a bit high doesn’t impair Snow’s rationale, and the experienced maid can still summon all of her grace when speaking if she feels the need.
“But...” Again, Sam appears troubled.
“Please, Mistress. You gotta do what Myaster says!” Peri pleads to her, biting her lip out of worry.
“Snow’s right, as always! Sam, don’t be stupid, nyaa!” Cherry stands up, putting her hands on her hips. “You three are just as an important part of our forever ho as the Myaster is!”
Pushing down her reluctance, the addled Princess closes her eyes, and her dopey smile returns. “Ok! If Daddy says it, then I have to do it!”
‘If only you were this easy to control all of the ti, Sammy.’ Zutiria pats the back of Sam’s armor teasingly.
“Wha?” Sam tilts her head, not getting it.
“It’s not important,” I sigh. “Are we all in agreent, then?”
“Guess so!” Sam gives a thumbs up.
“If... if I have to...” ri frowns.
‘I’ll force them ho myself if need be, Sir. If soone has to play the bad bitch, it might as well be .’ The little Mage shrugs. ‘I doubt even you’d be able to argue with throwing a Returner at you, ri, if it ant saving your life.’
The Shield Maiden tilts her head, making the floppy tips of her hair bow bounce to the side. “Y-Yeah, I guess you have a good point...” She ends up nodding.
“Good. According to Taskmaster, you’re all at near flawless health, stamina, and mana. Don’t count on a chance to use potions in this battle unless we can manipulate the situation to give you a chance.”
“Anything else, Master?” ri asks while taking a sip from her canteen.
I start to wrack my brain for any other pieces of advice that co to mind before I send them into the boss room. My thoughts spiral into negativity soon after. “Well, I have reason to believe that Pimpington’s class as an adventurer might have been ‘Fencer’. We’ll know shortly on into the battle whether this guess is correct or not, but... if it IS correct-”
“It won’t be good news, will it?” Cherry frowns, clasping my knee from below.
“No. It will be almost the exact opposite circumstances compared to fighting the Whiplashers. You all had an excellent match-up against that class, but... Sam, ri, if I’m right, then your armor will an absolutely nothing to his sword.”
‘Of course, it wouldn’t be easy. Why would it?’ The little Mage shrugs her shoulders with indifference. ‘Then again, perhaps if we’re lucky, then the ultimate punchline of this dungeon is that the boss will be defeated in one blow.’
“Don’t count on it- especially if he’s a Fencer.”
“Then let’s just hope you aren’t right, Myaster!” Peri tries to keep things optimistic, but it fails to relieve anyone. Without sounding like a pretentious know-it-all, I’m not often wrong in my analysis.
“Hang on, if he can tear through armor t-then what about my shield?” ri’s anxiety begins to rise, and I have to nip that in the bud.
“You know as well as I do that your shield is special. I won’t pretend like I’m an expert on how they’re made, but for whatever reason, Shield Maiden shields are known for being virtually indestructible. You’ll be able to do your job as usual.”
The anxious brunette lets out a long sigh of relief. “Oh, good... I-I don’t know what I’d do if it got damaged...”
I don’t think there’s much else I can say past this point that hasn’t already been said. “Has everyone had a drink from their canteens? Is anyone hungry? Now is the last chance you’ll have, so-”
“Daddy, where can I pee?” Sam asks vapidly, her loopy lack of conversational filter rearing its head once more.
I just sort of stare at her screen in silence before forcing myself to say, “...Well, a lot of adventurers wear expensive, enchanted-”
‘No matter how rich the Guild gets, Sir, I will never wear magic adventuring diapers. It is perhaps one of the few things I refuse to do, even for you.’ Zutiria blushes, making a powerfully defiant expression uncharacteristic of her typical coldness.
Snow unsuccessfully holds back a laugh that transforms into a snort on its way out.
“Just go back in the other room and piss on the floor, for fuck’s sake,” I groan and shake my head.
“KAY!” Sam eagerly runs off, and I cut off her cara.
“Anyone else?”
ri shakes her head, blushing, as does Zutiria.
Not long after, Sam cos back from the statue room with a satisfied grin spreading ear to ear. “Daddy! Guess what?! I’m so lucky. Everyone will just think soone spilled water cause the floors are already gold!”
“Gods damn it, just put the fucking keys in the pimp door!” Losing a bit of my patience and blushing, I snap at Her Highness. Six girls collectively laugh at as I sigh. A small smile creeps onto my face, but I push it down to keep objective.
Sam takes one key and plunges it onto the display of Sir Pimpington while on the other side of the door, ri inserts the second key into the exposed heart of Sir Chasteworthe. The keys are turned, and a glowing pink light shines from within the heart of each lock. The ornate doors give way and open wide, even without anyone pulling them ajar.
The entrance to the boss chamber creaks ominously, swinging apart and revealing the nerve-wracking display of the party’s first-ever boss room fully for all to see.
This final stretch of the Pimpfort is a long but wide-open hallway with a path of golden bricks leading down the middle of the room. The ceiling is high, very high, and all that can be seen aside from nurous magic spotlights is darkness. On each of the room’s walls is, as I’ve co to expect, a rose garden.
Unlike the rose gardens we’ve seen before, this room is not made of stone. Four tall stone statues rise from within each rose garden, for a total of eight.
For the first two statues on either side, they take the shape of generic won wearing Pimpington’s preferred uniform, kneeling as if before a King. If these four are real won, we didn’t encounter them in the dungeon, and I don’t rember seeing them in the Pet Shop.
I think they just represent the many won under his thrall.
The next set of statues are Lemira and Rhaelyn, bowing but with their heads raised to set them apart from the ordinary grunts.
Lastly, the largest pair out of all is a towering duo.
On the left stands the Pimp as we know him, decked out in his outrageous wardrobe and accouternts. He holds his cane in his left hand, and with his right, he extends it in a handshake to the figure on the opposite row. His hand is clutched tightly by the tall, snappily dressed, faceless gentleman who introduced himself to ri and myself as the Duke of Dewhurst.
Pimpington smiles, and while the spindly Duke cannot emote, I’d say he looks pleased with himself.
At the end of the shining hall is a raised platform of stairs leading to a balcony with a locked door behind it, just like the dungeon’s first room.
Fancy velvet curtains hang down both sides of the exit, drawing all eyes to the room’s centerpiece. Atop the balcony and in front of the back door sits an enormous, golden throne with plush red seating and a bevy of encrusted jewels lining every edge.
Sitting on the resplendent throne with his legs crossed, his sword across his lap, and a bored look on his face is Sir Pimpington.
Since we last saw him four or five hours ago, he’s had a minor change in attire. The villain’s armor is no longer gold. Instead, it’s a wondrous, shiny, platinum-like tal with gratuitous laden diamonds.
The pimp yawns as he twirls his oily, curled mustache. Wiping the tiredness from his eyes while looking down at the adventuring party, he says, “Well... at least they gave a pimp a mothafuckin’ chair this ti, ya feel ?”
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