Rise of the Guild Ma Choose Your Words Carefully

‘I don’t like the ocean.

When I open my mouth, the words escape . When I open my mouth, I can’t ever take them back.

I don’t like the ocean, when they escape they remind

of twisted and shattered reflections of the creatures that swim the salty depths. Only I know they don’t swim our seas. They retch and stir and twist among the hellstars in a perverse cosmic blackness that no one was ever ant to witness.

But when I opened my mouth, when they escaped , when I could no longer take them back, I saw it. And then I saw worse.’

-

I awaken with a horrified gasp. I’m sweating. A lot. I ruined the pillow with my sweat just the sa as I’ve ruined many others. Sothing is different about tonight, though. For the first ti in my adult life, I’m not in my tower and I’m not alone in the dark. I’m staring at him, and past his ruggedly handso face is Sammy... the three of us are cuddling in the middle of a big bed.

I can still feel him inside . An odd sensation, but I don’t dislike it. Sammy was right. The mont I tasted it I could confirm his sen is filled to the brim with potent magical energy... fascinating.

It’s only now I realize that my body is still shaking from the nightmares. Maybe I should get my own bed. He’s never going to want to sleep next to

when he finds out what I’m like during my worst dream terrors.

Maybe I’m being too negative. This could be my chance at happiness- that’s why I left Imperalis, after all. Sammy’s letter piqued my interest and I was worried about her. I answered the call to action and now I’m sharing a bed with a man who ca inside

scant hours ago, wondering how long it will be until he throws

out in disgust.

It’ll be a sha when he does. I really liked having sex with him.

I can’t ever be happy. Not after I opened my mouth all those years ago. But it’s not like I don’t want to be.

I take deep breaths and reduce myself to nothing. From the whiteness of nothing forms a little lavender girl living in her own little world. She would probably make a very powerful mage, but this little girl doesn’t go down that path. She does normal little girl things... like horses. And tea. She’s best friends with a Princess, and there's a weird boy with glasses who hangs around too. Strange. He’s never been here before.

The little girl grows up. She’s normal. She has a happy, normal life doing happy, normal things and she never says the wrong thing. She shuts her mouth. She never lets the words escape their prison.

... And I’m back. I’m no longer shaking. I don’t feel good, but I never do. I can’t stay in this bed, I need to get up, but the absolute blackness of night scares . It reminds

of the ti that the little girl did open her mouth.

I probably should have told him about my fear of the dark before we went to bed, but I didn’t have much choice in the matter. All I rember before sleep is being the most content I’ve ever been, and having been fucked silly.

I wordlessly summon a little glowing orb from the tip of my finger to light my way to the bathroom. It’s a cantrip, and takes no mana, and has no incantation. Perfect for a broken girl like

who can’t even speak properly.

Although I guess I said sothing out loud a few hours ago. I just rembered.

‘I’m cumming.’

It took twenty seven years of endless suffering to find enough motivation just to try and work past the residual horrors of my childhood and ‘I’m cumming’ ended up being the first words to escape my sealed lips.

Even as I shuffle off scared to the nearby bathroom with my glowing finger lighting the way I can’t help but find the humor in it. After that brief mont passes, though, I’m just as sad as I was before.

If it was so easy to speak all along then why couldn’t I before? Why did I never try?

I shut the door behind , turn on the arcane lighting of the room and rest my naked body down on the cold lid of the toilet. I’m still trembling. I don’t expect it to stop for a few hours, but at least I don’t have to be in the darkness.

I know why I never tried and I’m terrified of how easy it was for him to inspire

enough to make the effort. I didn’t want to let him down.

I try and hold myself back but I can’t help softly sobbing as soon as realization starts to sink in.

If he asks

to try again, I know I will.

If it keeps up I’m going to end up trying again... and again... and again. I may have only just t him, but as a mage I’m far from blind to his unnatural magic pull towards the fairer sex. I could resist that much if ‘destiny’ was all he had going for him, but it’s not.

Sir is so much more than a re magical pussy magnet.

He doesn’t have an aura of unconditional attraction swirling around him, and I certainly made the decision to have sex with him of my own volition. No magical coercion or anything of that ilk. Whatever supernatural charm he may have only amplifies what’s already there... or maybe that’s a bad way to phrase it.

It’s more like it inspires you to take a closer look at sothing you might normally write off. It makes you want to know him.

There’s also a chance this is all in my head.

Maybe I’m just so lonely and desperate to be loved, or fucked, that my fragile mind is doing ntal gymnastics to rationalize sleeping with a man I just t?

Evidence suggests the forr, while my crippling self doubt suggests the latter.

If I were soone else... soone less damaged, I could probably fall in love with him. Maybe I will anyway and I’ll ruin him forever.

All I know is I should never have left my tower.

Using another low level cantrip I summon the letter Sam sent

that started it all. It was just in the pocket of my dress the other room over, so it’s no big deal.

Her letter ca two days ago and right away I was absorbed by the beautiful dream. Sammy’s optimism was infectious and I dared to hope maybe sothing would change if I followed her lead. So then I spent the day after getting things in order for my departure, and clearing things with Theo. He was supportive. While I didn’t tell him I was leaving to be with Sammy I’m sure he knows.

Who else but Sammy would send -- a letter?

Once more, I open the folded parchnt and am greeted by Sammy’s terrible penmanship. I want to see if it still makes

feel the sa as when I first read it.

‘Dear Zuzu,

Yeah so uh... I left. You probably already know that by now though, right? I didn’t wanna leave without you but it was a very spur of the mont kinda thing. Besides, you know how rough things were getting between Father and I... when it happened I just decided suddenly that it was ti. I didn’t think about you, or Mother, or anyone else it’d affect. I couldn’t... So I stole so of father’s armor, a fat sack of gold and a big ass sword before fucking off on my rry way.

I used the gold to bribe the Guild Master of Perlshaw and got my Hero License, just like we always talked about. I’m finally doing it, Zuzu...! I know I don’t know how to fight, but the royal blood runs strong within

and it makes

much stronger than your average man. I’m sure I’ll figure it out the rest of it as I go along, right?

I couldn’t stay in Perlshaw. For one, Father would find

too easily and... the Guild Master there was such a fucking sleezeball you wouldn’t even believe. Sure, I’m definitely wearing slutty armor, but he was trying SO hard to make subtle advances on

that I was sorely tempted to cut his dick off in a fit of rage. I didn’t- promise- but I did kick his nuts in as hard as I could. I don’t regret that decision.

Anyway I hit the road and found myself in Dewhurst. Gods... It’s the shittiest place I’ve ever seen, no joke... but as of a few days ago I decided to live here. I’m kinda fucking the local Guild Master.

I know how this sounds but please, just keep reading.

When I say I’m fucking him I an like. I’m REALLY fucking him. Rember when I was little and you read

all those stories about Princes and Princesses falling in love at first sight and I thought it was the dumbest shit? Ugh. It’s like... that, but not stupid because it’s happening to .

Don’t worry, it was the day after I turned 18! Not that it probably would’ve stopped either of us, honestly... there’s just SO much chemistry. He’s not perfect, and I kinda need to whip his ass into shape. His Guild is on the verge of ruin and I’m the only adventurer he’s got. I swear I was gonna write to you anyway but it hit . Didn’t Father try and get you to do sothing with your life a couple years back and you got a Hero License?

You should co here and put it to use. Don’t worry, I know you got your issues, but... My new ‘Daddy’ is already putting up with my inexperienced ass so I’m sure he could figure out sothing for you and your voice thing.

Oh. And in case you’re worried about being a third wheel while I’m fucking this random guy then... please don’t be. I kinda want to share him with you.

You’ll love him, he’s got these weird magic eyes that he was born with and he’s super nice and sexy and... Zuzu... I lied. All those tis I walked in on when you were ‘going at it’ I knew what you were doing. I just didn’t wanna make it awkward between us. So yeah, I know you’re repressed as hell.

Co stay with us and maybe we could fix that and be together?

- If anyone asks, my na is Samilda

PS. He doesn’t know so if you get here don’t ntion anything about who I am.’

The letter is warm and it makes my heart sing. I like this feeling, even if it’s not real. It’s temporary... fleeting... fake. This kind of warmth is for the people who can feel hope in their hearts and use it to survive another day. People like Sam deserve this warmth.

It’s not ant for wicked, broken little girls who can’t keep their mouth shut.

I’m not done sobbing, apparently, but I try and keep it as silent as I can. I don’t want to wake anyone else. If Sir woke up and saw

like this right after we slept together then he’d think I hated him... or he’d think I’m fake and the girl behind the floating magical text wasn’t as cute as she seed.

He...

He called

his doll. I like it, it’s a cute idea... But I wish I really was just a doll. Quiet, lifeless, still. Then I wouldn’t be alone crying my eyes out in the bathroom in the middle of the night.

If I could only just-

“Zutiria?” Sir’s low voice whispers from the crack in the bathroom door after knocking lightly several tis.

‘Stomach problems. Go back to bed without , Sir. I’ll be fine. Happens all the ti.’ I lie.

The quietness as he reads my text is palpable.

“May I co in?” He’s not backing down. Shit.

‘No. It’s... really bad in here. I would be ashad if you saw

in such a state so quickly after eting . It’s not ti for you to see

at my worst.’ This ti my words are more vague and strictly speaking none of them are lies.

The door opens and he steps inside. He’s not wearing his glasses, but he did manage to find his boxers again. He also found a trembling girl in his bathroom, covered in sweat and tears. As he looks down at

with those pupil-less eyes of his, I feel like we’re thousands of miles apart.

Can this distance ever be closed? Dolls can’t move unless they’re picked up and played with.

He doesn’t say anything and neither do I.

After who knows how long, he approaches

and sits down on the edge of the bathtub right by my side. Sohow, I manage to feel embarrassed in this situation and I cross my legs and cover up my tiny, inadequate breasts.

“Are you cold?”

I shake my head.

He smiles... he shouldn’t be smiling... why is he smiling?

“I used to have nightmares a lot too, you know.”

No, I don’t know. Why would I? I barely know anything about you. And why are you telling

this now? Stop.

“They were usually about my Grandpa... Actually, if I’m being honest I woke up from one right now.” He laughs in that hollow way people do when they’re afraid of the silence that will co when they finish speaking.

I just stare. No crying, no trembling, no sobbing. I’m a doll.

“I never t my dad, but the old bastard would often say a lot about him. He was so sort of lady’s man and I think Grandpa was really jealous about that. Despite being a lecherous old horn dog, he’d always tell

I should only ever have sex with one girl my whole life. According to him any more pussy than that would rot my brain, or make my dick fall off, or whatever bullshit he could think of in the mont. I... was just dreaming that he saw what I did with you, and he added it to the growing pile of ways he’d be disappointed in how I turned out.”

Dolls... can’t talk. I want to be his doll, I really do... but... I...

‘That’s awful. Was he really like that?’

“He wasn’t so bad, but by the end of his life you could definitely say he was very disappointed in .” Sir goes cold. Distant. Yet sohow this only makes

feel closer to him. “But hey, it was just a dream.”

‘Just... a dream?’

“Mhmm. It was scary, sure, and it made

feel bad... but just like any other dream- I woke up.” His smile is genuine, and warm, and I can’t look at it. Yet I keep staring, even if it burns . I’m crying again, and trembling.

He pulls

into a soft, protective embrace and I cling to his strong, muscled back as if my life depended on it.

“How often does this happen?”

‘I don’t want to answer. You’ll hate .’

“I won’t hate you.”

‘... Almost every night...’

“Was this a bad one?”

‘No. If it was a bad one you would know. Trust ... I... AH!’

His huge hand cups the back of my head and pushes

towards him to nuzzle the warmth of his neck. Sir begins to pet .

Slowly...

Gently...

Lovingly...

I don’t deserve this, I don’t-

“I already changed your pillow sheets. We can stay here as long as you’d like, Zutiria. I promise I won’t leave your side even even if it takes all night.”

‘R-Really...?’

“Really. I won’t pretend to know what left you this way, but all I can tell you is that you don’t need to hide yourself away.”

Please... soone... help.

Anyone...

Sammy?

Theo?

D... Dad...? Mom?

Big Sis...?

I don’t understand. Sobody please tell

why I keep crying even though his words fill my soul with passionate, loving heat.

Is this normal? Am -I- normal?

‘I wasn’t... hiding here. I’m... afraid of the dark...’

He doesn’t say anything. He’s judging , because of course he is. What kind of thirty-five year old woma-

“We can leave the bathroom door open a crack from now on. I’m sure Sam won’t mind.”

He’s... not judging . He’s smiling- he’s always smiling. Am... am I the reason he’s smiling? Sammy’s not here. I can’t think of any other reason he’d be smiling if not for... for .

“Co back to bed with .”

My lips open. I can’t do this. But I need to. I press further into his neck and I hover my mouth just outside his ear. My throat stirs. It’s trying so hard that it itches and burns- but it works.

In the dead of night, I whisper into my lover’s ears, “... Yes, Sir...”

Not a word is said when he lifts

up into his arms like I were his bride to be. Ironic, considering what I almost blurted out as my fourth condition hours ago. We leave the bathroom behind us and true to his word, the dim light pours out of the exposed crack of the door.

Sammy is still sound asleep, as expected. The Master of the Guild carefully slips back into bed so as not to disturb her and when he’s safely into position he pats my vacant spot next to him. There’s a fresh blanket covering where my naked flesh soaked the bed sheets.

I can’t feel a single trace from the stains of my terrors as I lay back in my spot. Sammy instinctively cuddles up to him, and much to my surprise, he cuddles exclusively up to myself. I feel so tiny in his arms... small... safe.

“It’ll be ok.”

He strokes my head again as if I were a little kitten. I wish I knew how to purr for him, but I nod my head instead.

“Everything will be ok.”

Sir continues to whisper comforting statents to

and I feel the darkness of sleep reaching its ghastly hand out to drag

down once more. I don’t want to sleep. I want to lie here, forever.

With him.

I’m so scared, and so confused, and there are so many, many things I don’t know.

I’m glad I left my tower.