Carynne smiled bitterly at the silence. She could guess exactly what Raymond was thinking. His solution was predictable: kill everyone and run away with her. That would be his plan.
But this ti, in this life, she couldn’t let that happen. She didn’t want that. She had struggled so much to get this far. It was the world outside the book that she had finally found after a hundred years. How could she choose such an easy way out?
“Crown Prince Gueuze has ordered to kill His Highness Lewis.”
Raymond’s body stiffened. Feeling his reaction within his embrace, Carynne thought, As expected.
“Of course, I have no reason to kill him… But the important thing is, as you said, if we do nothing and just run away, Lewis will die this ti too. Are you okay with that? Will that satisfy you? Does it not matter to you?”
“Carynne, I…”
Carynne placed her hand over Raymond’s mouth.
I don’t care about that.
She didn’t want to hear those words. She didn’t want to hear that lie. That couldn’t be true. Living for one person alone is essentially a life where you give up everything.
It was the sa as how she had once devoted herself entirely to pleasure and distraction.
“Sir Raymond, perhaps it really is none of our business. Just as you said, just as you told not to worry about Isella. We are detached from ti, and this mont could simply repeat again.”
Because nothing outside the two of us matters.
“You said there was no future where Lewis becos king. That it’s inevitable. But how about now? What do you really think?”
“Even now… I don’t think he’ll survive.”
“But you don’t want him to die.”
“Carynne, honestly… as long as I have you, nothing else matters to .”
“Then will you kill Lewis?”
“Carynne, I…”
Raymond clenched his teeth.
Carynne continued.
“This ti, we agreed to try building a more constructive life, to try harder. Didn’t we?”
“I didn’t agree to that.”
“But you said you’d follow along.”
Not just for the two of them, but for the world, for society, for a broader world with family and friends. For progress, not stagnation.
“I’m pregnant.”
What she had longed for.
Her ending. A new ending with Raymond. A new life for the two of them to create together.
But Raymond’s face didn’t show joy.
Ah, so that’s it. He knows. He knows the truth…
Carynne felt a pang of sadness, an urge to cry. Looking up at Raymond’s face from within his arms, she lowered her head again and asked quietly.
“Did you hear it from Isella? Or did Zion tell you?”
“I heard it from both of them.”
“Sir Raymond, I’m glad Isella ca all this way for . And I want to see Prince Lewis live, to see him wear the crown on his head. I want to see that boy who once admired you survive. The boy who was killed by his own father right in front of —I want to see him beco king.”
The sound of the rain grew louder. Carynne felt grateful her face was wet from the rain—it hid her tears.
“Because until now… it’s never happened before.”
Just as Isella had co to her for the first ti, Carynne wanted to believe in such miracles. She wanted to hope for a better world. A world where good is rewarded with good, and evil is repaid with evil.
“Sir Raymond… honestly, I wanted to say sothing like this. That we should try to make a better world for our child. Yesterday, that’s what I was thinking.”
“……”
“But you know it too, don’t you?”
She bit her lip. Raymond knew. Even without speaking, it was clear. They both knew.
That she was pregnant.
And that their child could never be born.
* * *
It was when Gueuze had Carynne examined by the royal physicians. One of them called Gueuze away, while another approached Carynne. His gray eyes darted quickly, and he raised one finger to his lips.
Shh.
Carynne caught on. Royal physicians of their caliber would always leave at least one path of survival. One of the older physicians, part of the royal team, spoke to Carynne.
“Prince Lewis asked about your condition and told to inform him.”
“Prince Lewis?”
“Yes, he is one of my students.”
Unexpected help arrived. Carynne entrusted her body to the physician without worry, setting aside fears that she or her unborn child might be in danger. After a long examination, the elderly physician looked at Carynne, his wrinkled face twisting into an odd expression as he spoke.
“You are indeed pregnant. However, you won’t gain wealth or status from this.”
“I don’t care.”
After all, it wasn’t Gueuze’s child. It was a lie she fabricated to survive. And Gueuze didn’t believe her either. They were simply pretending ignorance for their own amusent. All Carynne needed to do was survive until Raymond ca for her. This ti, she would claim a true life for herself. She would have a child. This ti, she would.
“…No.”
But the physician shook his head as he looked at Carynne’s hopeful expression.
That wasn’t what he ant.
“The child in your womb is already as good as dead.”
It won’t be born.
* * *
……
……
* * *
“Did y-you… really think… I-I-I would let th, is go… so easily?”
Dullan laughed.
Sir Raymond, how do you see ? I am weak, despicable, and possess nothing. You know it, and I know it. But even I have sothing I cannot, under any circumstances, let go.
The longing for eternity.
* * *
“Dullan, make sure Carynne doesn’t conceive until she truly falls in love.”
To delay the choice.
Catherine had said this, but Dullan had scoffed inwardly at her words. What was true love, and how could one possibly define it? And why did it fall upon him to ensure it? What gave Catherine the confidence to bargain with him? Did she believe he had nothing to lose? She was wrong.
If Carynne died, eternity would disappear.
Dullan was utterly determined not to let Carynne conceive. But as ti passed, Dullan Roid began to question himself.
What if my resolve falters? What if I make a mistake? What if, in a mont of weakness, I give up eternity?
He was all too aware of his own weakness.
What if, perhaps, just perhaps, Carynne told him she loved him? An impossible thought, but what if their engagent proceeded to marriage? What if… he chose to give it all up? What if he abandoned eternity, lived an ordinary life, and died like any other mortal?
No.
Dullan rejected the thought. That was an impossibility. He couldn’t waver. So Dullan resolved to administer more of the dicine.
For a longer ti, and more thoroughly.
* * *
“Why?”
Carynne asked blankly.
Hope had co so suddenly and disappeared just as quickly. She had always believed she was barren, and now, in the worst of circumstances, a sliver of hope—a pregnancy—had arrived, only to vanish again.
Carynne placed her hand on her abdon. She still felt nothing. But she had thought it was there. She had been told it was there.
“Why? My body… what did I… what mistake did I make…?”
The physician looked at her with pity, but the truth could not be altered.
“Have you not been taking too much dicine?”
“dicine… recently… I haven’t… I don’t think I’ve taken anything…”
Her head spun. What had she consud? Who had she t? What had entered her mouth? Her stomach churned. What had she done wrong this ti? What had she…
As Carynne’s breathing quickened, the physician steadied her and spoke slowly.
“Have you not been taking it for a very long ti? Upon examining you, I can already see signs of a stillbirth.”
* * *
This isn’t sothing that happens in just a month or two. It must have been taken consistently for years. Your body cannot carry a child to term. You’ve already consud far too much of the substance. That child cannot be born.
Miss Carynne, are you alright? Breathe slowly. There’s no critical damage to your body. With ti and gradual treatnt over several years, you might see improvent.
It’s just that your body isn’t ready yet. For now, breathe slowly…
Carynne could not scream. Gueuze was nearby.
Her eyes widened, holding back tears… It’s fine… focus on what can be done… right now…
/subliminalwayfarer
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