He always ca at around this ti. Always. Always. The place was different now and then, but the chance, the necessity, and the intention. None of those changed. He always t Carynne.
Until now, it had been within the bounds of the Hare estate, even when the actual places differed. Still, it would not hinder the fact that he would et Carynne, no matter the setting. Just as ever.
But what about this ti?
She knew it in her head. This ti would be the sa yet again. Shes in danger, and Raymond would save her. Isella would be jealous, and Verdic would get mad. Just as ever, these instances would repeat themselves. It was at the beginning of this cyclical year that she was already so sick and tired of. This cyclical year without any smidgen of stimulation.
Knock, knock.
Once more, soone knocked from outside the door. Was it him out there? If he was, nevertheless, it would not surprise her.
But even so, Carynne found herself afraidafraid to confirm it.
Carynne had not spoken to Donna since she was 117 years old. She did not wish to et her again. She only saw the maid from a distance, being bullied by the other maids, but Carynne no longer wished to have a close relationship with Donna. She just wished to recall that life as it was. She wished to preserve it. She wished to leave behind sadness as sadness, and frustration as frustration.
If such things were to repeat, then the novelty of the experience would not be impactful anymore. Even if she was not from outside the novel, it still felt like it.
Shes getting sick of everything. Including Raymond.
Hes soone who could not rember all the years before. For Carynne, all the people here besides herself were characters made from ink. Even if there was no world outside the novel, nothing had changed.
Carynne knew.
Originally, she would have welcod the unexpected presence of the aging Duke Luthella rather than Raymonds appearance. Raymond was a man she continuously saw each and every year, whereas Duke Luthella was soone she had never t before.
But now, Carynne was distressed about confirming Raymonds imminent appearance. Just like how distressing it was to see Donna. It was the sa bitter feeling that she would have as she recalled how she had failed in the end in that iteration.
She had a strong feeling that she would fail again this ti.
Donna could not rember. Nancy could not rember. Dullan, who she had tortured to death nurous tis, also could not rember.
It was an established fact that no longer needed to be confird.
Raymond would be the sa.
Carynne did not want to see his face.
If they were to et again this ti, she would have to apologize to him, thank him, fall in love with him. Or maybe this ti, she could tell him the whole truth once more and propose that they be on the sa side. Perhaps this ti, they would be able to stab Crown Prince Gueuze on the back, or perhaps they could eradicate Verdic completely.
There was also the option of revisiting her mothers history, or participating in the conflicts and wars between the great aristocrats and the royal family, which involved Duke Luthella, Crown Prince Gueuze and Prince Lewis.
But Carynne loathed to think of all that.
She did not want to be acquainted again. She did not want to repeat it again and again and againto act as if she was being saved by him for the first ti, as if she did not know who he was in the first place. She despised living. She despised being in love. Shes so sick and tired of even breathing.
So, Carynne did not open the door. She did not want to answer. All she wanted to do was this: run away. If it was not Raymond on the other side of the door, she was going to die anyway. And if it was Raymond, it was no worse than death itself. Perhaps its because that iteration was the first ti she had done her best to extend such courtesy towards Raymond. There were so many reasons. Carynne wanted to lock the door. If not that, she wanted to just hang herself.
Creak
But regardless of her will, the door opened. The man outside no longer waited for Carynnes answer. The door was not locked. Unlike how it was before, the door now opened much too easily. No one had locked the door.
For a mont, it felt to Carynne as if ti had slowed down trendously.
The first thing she could see was the mans hand. Just with that, she already knew who it was. Then, whats revealed next were his arms, his clothes.
With the sunrise behind him, he appeared.
This ti again, it was just as Carynne had expected. Her knight had co to her rescue. Even his clothes were the sa. Yet again, it was the sa dark military uniform. Too dark to tell whether or not there was blood splattered on it. From his hand, thunk, his gun slipped and hit the floor. It was the sa one he always used.
There was no plot twist.
This ti again, he ca to save Carynne. Or, perhaps he was swept away by so other force and happened to face Carynne.
Whatever it was, Carynne did not doubt him. Even as she had committed murder, he remained to be on her side. This ti again, he would be on Carynnes side. This would never change.
Carynne thought.
What should I say this ti? Thank you? No, who are you? If not that, please save ? I dont know which one will sound more natural.
The rays of the rising sun shone from behind Carynne. Before she knew it, the sun had risen from the horizon, and morning had already co. Yet again, another terrible and tireso day had co. Yet again, she t Raymond.
Raymonds hair and his face were revealed. Carynne lowered her gaze. She did not know what kind of expression to make. Shed rather close her eyes.
She gritted her teeth.
I cant expect anything. I cant.
Though she could not speak of it, she felt miserable. She didnt have to feel this way, but this was how it was.
She heard footsteps.
Hes approaching.
What should I say? Carynne thought. I dont know. I dont know.
Nevertheless, she had already lost the chance to run away. She needed to talk to him. She needed to ask who he was. As if its her first ti eting him. She needed to give him a natural answer.
She raised her gaze. Raymonds chin, his lips, his nose. Then, his eyes beca visible. His face was as beautiful as ever. However.
Carynne could not say anything.
And Raymond did not say anything either.
There was once a ti, during the first few years of her repeated life, that Carynne had spoken to him about the terror of death. Im afraid of dying. Im afraid you wont rember again. But he smiled and stroked Carynnes head. Ill co to you again. Then, lets make a code. I dont know how Ill ever rember, but Im certain
She would never forget, but he never rembered even once. He was the one who said that they should make a code, but it was like a farce of succor.
Raymond was a rational person. He never truly believed what she had said. That iteration, too. Until the very end, he did not believe Carynne.
Even so, he had bet everything.
This was the reason hes Carynnes male lead. Carynne had told Dullan about this without hesitation. How would she be able to deny a man who did his best, even when he had no trust in her? Even if she could not love him, he was a man who did his best for her. Who else would she choose?
Shall we make a code?
No. Theres no need for that kind of thing.
Raymond stepped forward, closer to Carynne. He placed a hand on Carynnes shoulder. Carynne looked up at Raymond.
For the first ti, Carynne looked at him properly.
Raymond was crying.
Carynne was aware that she was truly holding him with her own hand. Raymond opened and closed his lips a few tis, but eventually, he drew her into an embrace without saying anything. She felt her shoulder getting soaked by the second. Raymonds hands were shaking.
She had always been curious about what his crying face would look like. Throughout all the years she knew him, she had only ever seen his smile, his wrath, his surprise. But never his tears.
Carynne vaguely thought that, if he ever cried, he would only quietly shed tears. But that wasnt the case. Raymond was not crying quietly and gracefully.
What left through his lips were akin to the pained howls of a beast. And Carynne noticed a similar sound coming from her own throat. She felt suffocated.
How did he know? How much did he rember? Who was he now? Why here, and why now?
But Carynne forgot all of those questions swirling through her mind. She placed her arms around Raymond, who was embracing her. They embraced each other so tightly that their bodies might break.
No words were needed. The dizzying sadness and emotion perated through their bodies like the slash of a blade.
There was no need for a code. There was no need for any probing. There was no need for a confirmation. Love was not a test. Ti could not be hidden by anything.
There was no need even for language. No words at all were needed right now. One glance was enough to know. Only tears existed in this mont.
Now, in this world made of ink, there existed two human beings.
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