No matter how much I thrust in and out of her, the bitterness didn’t leave. It was there, beneath every thrust as I penetrated her. Every kiss. Every ti she smiled up at , I wondered:
Did he make her smile like this?
Did she give him what I waited for?
I tried to focus on the way her body writhed beneath . How good it felt to finally be inside her. To hear her moans, feel her nails scrape down my back over and over and how her lips parting in surrender.
But all I could think of was him. Ignacio. That smug fucking demon.
"She didn’t look like she was under a spell. But... what if she was? Ignacio’s power is subtle. Maybe she didn’t rember. Maybe she was ashad." Hugo tried to reason.
Maybe. Or maybe I’d been a fool.
I thrust into her again, harder this ti, trying to chase the high, to bury my heartbreak in her warmth. She cried out beneath , clutching tighter, saying things like, "I love you. I’ve always loved you. Please don’t stop."
I didn’t stop.
But I was numb. For the next twenty minutes, I thrust in and out, applied pressure and slowed down when I needed to... all for her.
Hugo tried to ease the pain in my heart. I didn’t think anything could, really.
When I ca, it wasn’t with a shout. It was with a clenched jaw and a raw silence. Like every nerve in my body had been burned out.
She held afterward. Kissed my neck. Whispered things I didn’t want to hear.
"That was... incredible," she said softly. "I never imagined this is how it feels or that it could feel like this."
Tch. Acting all innocent again, are we? A scoff escaped my lips.
I didn’t answer. I rolled off her and stood up, heart pounding like a drum in a funeral procession.
"Axel?" she asked, eyebrows raised. "What’s wrong?"
A whole lot, girl. A whole fucking lot.
I didn’t respond. I grabbed my pants and headed straight into the bathroom.
....
The mirror stared back at , and I didn’t recognize the man in it. My skin was flushed. My eyes were dark and lost. I looked like soone who’d just been handed everything he ever wanted... and realized it ca too late.
I gripped the sink, hard. My knuckles went white.
"I waited," I whispered to myself.
I had waited. While others touched. While others bragged. I had waited like a fool. Like so naïve schoolboy believing love ant purity.
"You still love her. That didn’t change." Hugo pointed out.
"But she lied."
"Maybe she didn’t."
I looked up. "Then how—how the fuck...?"
"You think she’d give herself to that demon by choice? You think he didn’t do sothing to her? Look in the eye and say she wasn’t scared that night."
I couldn’t. Because she was. She looked so terrified when I told her to handle Ignacio. Hell, if I had known he was a demon, I would never have used her as bait.
I wouldn’t have sent him to her when I subtly dropped that lie at Luis’s place, or put her in charge of fighting her sister for our union.
Maybe this was my fault.
My pain would have been a lot more bearable had she not lied. Fuck, she lied. Why? She didn’t have to. She should have told he fucked her, and I swear, I would have make sure I had his head on the wedding day when he hid in the woods.
Why, María José? Why did you do this to us? Oh, fate was cruel. So cruel.
My heart stung so bad, I clenched my chest. I lowered my head to the sink and let the tears fall. So this was it? The almighty heartbreak.
I had never felt a pain so jarring. It hurts. The air stalled and I began to hyperventilate.
"You love her," Hugo said again. "Even now."
"I don’t know what I feel," I sobbed out like a little girl.
I wanted to believe her. I wanted to hate her. I wanted to crawl back into bed and hold her and ask her why. But I didn’t know what the hell to say.
"I fucked her," I whispered to my reflection, eyes bloodshot and tears running down my cheeks. "And I still feel empty."
I had to run the shower to avoid my sobs drifting into her ears. She was a wolf now, and that ant having elevated hearing.
Steam blurred the glass. Water thundered down my back, scorching hot—just the way I liked it when I was trying to wash away the rot. But no matter how hard I scrubbed, no matter how long I stood there under the stream, I couldn’t get her off of . I could still feel her. Taste her. Sll her.
María José.
She was in my bones now, and no amount of pain, or water, or rage could burn her out.
I leaned against the tile wall, the heat making my skin raw, and let the guilt wrap its cruel fingers around my throat. I’d taken her. Loved her like she was mine. And I wanted her to be mine. Every goddamn part of her.
But now... now there was a crack. A deep one.
And no matter how soft her voice had been, no matter how sweet she’d clung to afterward, that crack scread you weren’t her first.
I punched the wall. Hard. The sound echoed through the bathroom, the tile spider-webbing beneath my fist.
Was I being petty? Fuck yeah.
But I was also bleeding; emotionally, spiritually, whatever the hell you wanted to call it. This wasn’t just about sex. This wasn’t just about Ignacio.
It was about trust.
Hugo chirped in mournfully. "I understand your pain, Axel. You waited thinking you’d be her first. It’s all about trust."
Yeah. I did. And for what? A fantasy? So pretty little lie wrapped in moans and trembling limbs?
I ran my hands through my wet hair, tugging at the roots until it hurt. The pain helped. Made things clearer.
There was a soft knock at the door.
"Axel?" Her voice. God, her voice.
I didn’t answer.
She gave another pause. "Can I co in?"
I still didn’t answer. But the door opened anyway. Slowly. Hesitantly. And when I turned, dripping, angry, vulnerable, I saw her; wrapped in the white ranch robe, hair mussed, cheeks pink from what we’d just done.
What I’d done.
She stepped in, careful, like I was a wild animal she didn’t want to startle.
Her eyes flicked to my hand. "You’re bleeding."
I looked down. Didn’t even feel it. My knuckles were torn open, a crimson sar trailing down my wrist.
"It’s fine."
"No, it’s not." She stepped closer.
"Don’t," I bellowed. "Don’t touch ."
She halted. Hurt flickered in her eyes. "Axel, talk to . Please. Did I... did I do sothing wrong?"
I let out a bitter laugh. "You’re asking that?"
She’s got to be fucking kidding .
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