#Chapter 101 I Don’t Want You
Nathan POV
Moonglow Pack - Modesty Cabin
Running cleared my head enough to push back my beast. Lyon wanted to be free, to roar his protest to the sky, but I needed him to work with to hold us together. I had no idea what would happen if I were caught going Lycan on Moonglow territory.
My parents didn’t deserve to deal with the fallout though. I was their miracle child. I was their hope for the future. They had given everything they could and they’d continue to try to give everything they had until they were unable to give anything more because there was nothing more to give.
I wanted to be the son who made my parents proud, not the tantrum-throwing boy-beast who shad my House.
Throwing open the door to the Modesty Cabin, I entered the living area where the scents of my companions lingered. I focused on picking them apart as I paced the open space in front of the sofa.
Art slled of secrets and musky Alpha power while a hint of Tyler wafted around to put a bold, masculine foot forward as if to remind anyone near he was a threat to rember.
My own sll partially masked Rachel -probably because my Lycan slip had intensified my natural scent trail- but there was no way I would miss Rachel’s spicy aroma. She slled of exotic flowers and hot nights.
Passionate nights.
Rachel and I had been the first of everything for each other right up to the mont she t her so-called ’mate’ Tyler Wright.
I’d never gotten the chance to find full satisfaction in her arms. I could still close my eyes and call up all the nights we’d kissed until our bodies were fit to burst with desire.
One minute to focus was all I needed to rember exactly how she’d slled, tasted, felt in my arms and I was suddenly hard, aching with desire for the woman I loved with every part of my heart and soul.
How could I have another mate? How could that random girl be my mate?
Lindy Campbell was lovely, certainly lovely enough to turn the head of most Alphas. Her dark hair and features were very reminiscent of Rachel. They could have been sisters even.
Except they weren’t sisters and she could have been the most beautiful she-wolf on the whole planet without it mattering a damn bit to .
She wasn’t Rachel.
Pressing my fists against my eyes, I clenched my teeth to bite back a howl of pure fury. How could the Moon Goddess do this to ? How could she choose for the woman trying to usurp Rachel’s place in her mother’s pack? Why was I being given this substitute when Rachel herself had loved first, loved freely, loved , , ---!
"You’re going to hurt yourself."
"I can’t hurt myself any more than I hurt already. I feel like I’m dying. A part of is---giving up. I’ve loved her my whole life. How can you be my destiny when I love her?"
Dropping my hands, I turned to face Lindy. Her voice was hesitant and soft where Rachel was confident and loud. She was a poor copy of the woman I loved, but I could feel myself starting to see her differently as the mating instinct rose up inside .
The longer I stared at her, the more details I noticed: her hair was thicker and longer than Rachel’s though it was the exact sa dark shade, her lips were full, her cheeks were rosy, and her skin was flawless.
I knew if I kept staring at her? I would only see more and more reasons to want her, desire her, crave her. If I let it, would this mating urge overtake my need for Rachel? Would I just---just stop needing her?
"Do you see when you look at ? Or as you looking to see her? She might be my sister, you know? You t her first, but the Moon Goddess ant you for ! Can’t you feel it? We belong to each other!"
Growling a warning I took a step towards Lindy as she took a step back from the open cabin door.
Rachel wouldn’t have backed up. Rachel would have stood her ground. Rachel would have fought . She’d only run before because she was worried about that bastard’s baby in her belly.
Thinking of Rachel’s growing belly had my strength draining away. I dropped down to sit on the couch, letting my hands droop in defeat.
I didn’t want to fight this girl. I didn’t want to hurt her. She was only trying to tell the truth as she knew it.
Lindy wasn’t the one who was breaking my heart.
Our Moon Goddess was the one betraying right down into the depths of my soul and, for the first ti in my life, I felt pure hatred for her.
"I don’t want to hurt you."
"Then don’t! Love ! I’m yours! Isn’t that enough? She’s mated to that other Alpha. The Wright Alpha! Why can’t you accept we’re destined for each other? Why can’t I be good enough when I was made for you?"
I tried to find words to answer Lindy. She deserved answers from . If I couldn’t give her my love, she deserved my words.
I clasped my hands together to keep from forming fists again. I focused on taking her in even as I realized looking at her was changing my view of her. I knew the longer I studied her, the more the mating urge would overtake my thoughts.
I had chosen Rachel. My feelings for Rachel were real. The way I felt about Linda Campbell was not sothing I had chosen or wanted.
"What are you thinking? I can tell you’re upset. Hurting. I don’t know why. Can I help you? Can I help at all?"
I swallowed my feelings down. Neither of us would be benefitted by a loss of control. Lindy deserved words and I had the ability to form them because I was more than an animal.
"My heart is breaking. Can’t you see? Can you feel that? This is killing . I don’t have it in to love two won at the sa ti. I can’t love you the way you deserve. I can’t be the mate you’re supposed to have. There’s no room left inside for another female."
Rachel took up every part of . I loved her with my entire being: body and soul. I didn’t have anything left to give to her.
"I don’t care," she said, rushing to co forward and drop to her knees in front of , "I don’t need you to give anything. Not yet. Not ever maybe. I want to give myself to you. I’ve never wanted to belong to anyone, but I want to be yours. I want you to be mine however you can be."
Could she be so selfless? Could anyone want to put soone else first so badly? Could I trust her?
I wished I could talk to my father. I needed him to tell what I should do and I needed him to remind I was more than my instincts.
All my instincts wanted to do was seize my pleading mate, jerk her to , bury my teeth in her throat and claim her, mark her and make her mine forever. My hands were opening and closing on their own with the urge to reach out to her. I wanted to take her more than I’d wanted anything in my entire life.
Including Rachel.
And I suddenly hated her with a fiery passion because how dare she co to and try to force to give up on Rachel? My Rachel? No! I wouldn’t do it.
No goddess could make .
"I don’t want you. I don’t want to be yours. I want Rachel. She’s the real heir to your House. You know that, don’t you? You know you’re not her sister either. I know Rachel better than I know anyone or anything on this earth and you are not her. You’re not even close to her. I could sll it on you if you were from her line."
My beast was too close to the surface. My throat burned as I forced words when all my body wanted to do was howl in a combination of rage and grief. All I’d ever wanted for my future was getting pushed aside, lost, and I was getting lost too.
"I need you to leave now, Lindy. I’m not going to be able to control myself much longer. You won’t like when I’m angry."
I hoped Lindy listened.
I really didn’t want to hurt her, but I would if I had to as I stood to get away.
"If you value your life, you won’t try to touch . Go back to your father, Lindy. You’re not Rachel and you’re never going to be."
I went for the door only to feel her grab my hand and, just like that, my control snapped.
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