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~ NYSSA

Rowan sat in the back seat with , both of us covered in blood from the sa person.

It was a sight to behold and as I glanced at myself in the mirror, I could not help but cringe. I looked an utter ss.

The car was silent for the entirety of the ride. Eric and Aria sat in the front seats, doing everything humanly possible to avoid looking or talking directly to Rowan and I.

I did not completely bla them for their silence, I was in no mood to converse and Rowan had taken it upon himself to spend all of his ti and attention on . He glanced at when he thought I was not looking, lips pressed tightly into a firm line.

I sat curled up to the side as before, legs pulled up to my chest. There was ample distance between Rowan and I but as much as I wanted to bridge it, I did not know how. The tension from our last conversation remained, and I knew we would have to address it before we could move forward. However, that did not change the fact that all I wanted to do was curl up next to him.

I must have slept off at so point because when I ca to, the first thing that out to was the intense warmth around . It felt like I was cocooned in so kind of warm oven and I could not help but nestle closer.

A low rumble ca from the heat source and I felt a warm hand run down my arms. Panic coursed through my veins, lighting up a fire inside of my chest. I was drawn back to another pair of arms; more probing, more urgent.

I pushed away from the heat source, eyes flying open. "Get away from !"

Rowan’s eyes widened in surprise. He lifted his hands imdiately, showing that he ant no harm. "Are you okay?"

I could not speak.

I could feel them all staring at , watchful eyes assessing slowly, trying to draw their own conclusions from my outburst,

Sha crawled up at the back of my throat, tightening around my neck like a noose. I opened my mouth to apologize, but I could not form the words.

I turned away from Rowan, eyes locking on the large trees on either side of the car. I shifted closer to the door, pressing my body up against it.

"Nyssa," he began softly, reaching out to .

I stiffened as his hands grew closer and out of the corner of my eye, I saw his lips purse. It was very obvious that there was so much he wanted to say but for whatever reason, he held himself back.

"How far away from the palace are we?" I asked, swallowing the knot in my throat.

The sun was already high up in the sky. We had to have been driving for a few hours at least.

"Around four hours," Eric answered from the driver’s side. "You might want to rest again."

I wanted to... I needed to.

I was beyond exhausted at this point but I could not risk it. This ti, I was lucky enough that I realized it was Rowan before I did sothing stupid. There was no way to confirm that I would get lucky a second ti.

************************************

The rest of the drive went by in a blur of trees and nibbles on snacks that Rowan handed over to .

Against my better judgnt, I did fall asleep again and when I woke up, we were already arriving in front of the palace. I had only been gone a few days and yet it felt like years had passed.

"I’ll walk you to your room," Rowan said to as soon as the car pulled to a stop.

As appealing as that sounded, I shook my head. "I think I can do it myself, thanks."

He frowned, lips curving downward. "Alright then, it is as you left if. If you need"

I did not wait for him to finish before rushing out of the car. My skin felt dry and crusty and the sll of blood had stuck to so badly that I briefly wondered if I would be able to get it out at all.

I threw open my bedroom door, letting my head fall back against the cold wood. My eyes squeezed shut and I took a large breath, trying to calm my heart when I heard a loud squeak.

My eyes flew open instantly and I found Leah standing in the middle of my room, holding a large towel in her hands.

"I am so sorry!" she squealed, bowing low. "I didn’t know you would be back by now. I lost track of ti."

U forced a small smile onto my lips. "It’s fine."

"No, it is not. The King will kill . He specifically asked that we all disappear before you returned."

I went still at her words. "He did?"

She nodded. "Didn’t you notice that there were no guards or maids outside?"

Truthfully, I hadn’t, but now that I thought about it, it made so much sense. I was so focused on getting away that I didn’t pay attention to anything.

I was so dismissive to Rowan whereas he was looking out for without knowing.

Guilt gnawed at ; a deep, bitter feeling that left the taste of ash in my mouth.

"I should leave," Leah said, snapping out of my thoughts. "I already ran a warm bath for you. If you need anything, you may call."

With a bow, she walked out of the room, the door closing quietly behind her.

I made my way into the bathroom and sure enough, a large bath was set for complete with large bubbles and sweet slling jasmine. I stared at it longingly, but I could not step in. Instead, I turned on my heels, heading straight for the shower.

I did not undress, did not even check if the water was hot.

I sat cross legged on the ground, letting the cold jets of water hit square in the face.

The water made it hard to breathe and see, but at the sa ti, it drowned the noise in my head and that was enough.

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