"You have already predicted the worst outco for us, what else can I say?" Fang Chuning sneered, "So couples are deeply in love at the ti of marriage, but drift apart over the years. No one knows what the future holds, even if the Emperor removes from my position, my ambitions co to nothing, it’s my choice, and whatever the end is, I can bear it. You think you’re the only one who thought of the worst outco? Haven’t I considered it too? Since I am ntally prepared, why should others worry for ?"
"Am I ’others’? I am your father!" Marshal Fang said in a deep voice.
"Soone said you consider a lifelong disgrace, so do you really regard as your son?"
"Rubbish, who said that?"
"Guess, Father. I have regained so mories, and this is the first thing I recalled after my amnesia. Guess how old I was then, who said it in my ear?" Fang Chuning looked at him coldly, as if eting him for the first ti, "Everyone says that your harshness towards is because you want to succeed, but so say you wish I died during rigorous training. Should I believe them?"
"Have you long regained your mory?"
"Why? If I haven’t regained my mory, would you deny what you did to ?" Fang Chuning sharply questioned.
"I don’t care who you heard it from, that’s not the truth. Tunan, your arrival was indeed unexpected. But ever since I married your mother, I accepted this marriage. Indeed, when I was young, I occasionally vented old grievances on your mother. Before you were born, I intended to return to the Capital City, but the flood in Jiangnan, the battle in Ningzhou erupted, the struggle between the clans and royal authority was brutal in the court. The Li Family controlled the Ningzhou battlefield using grain transport. I couldn’t split myself, had to stabilize Jiangnan, replace the Marquis in persuading Sannan to open new grain routes, unwilling to be controlled by others. We had to fully control the northern and southern battlefields. I wouldn’t allow family trivialities to affect the lives of millions at the border and Jiangnan. Your mother misunderstood further. At that ti, I resented her and didn’t explain, but you are my eldest son. My harshness towards you was to ensure you survive the crisis-ridden battlefield. The Marquis Zhenbei Mansion is loyal and valiant; which one of them wasn’t brave and ferocious? In the end, what happened? Everyone died except a young Marquis who had to lead the cavalry and manage politics. Our Fang Family’s ancestors all died on the battlefield too. You were born into the splendors of the Capital City. Your mother cherished and protected you like a treasure, raised you spoiled, mistakenly thought I hated you due to my strictness and forbade from approaching you. I had to exert great effort to persuade her – either you live in the Capital City as a leisure nobleman, or accept the upbringing I received from your grandfather and the Fang Family. I’m not like the Marquis with gentle patience as a father, indeed I was harsh and ruthless with you, but if I didn’t treat you as my own, I’d have let your mother spoil you, let you grow up as a wealthy nobleman in the Capital City!"
Only after so many years did he hear Marshal Fang’s personal admission, Fang Chuning’s eyes reddened slightly.
Grief-stricken, aggrieved, yet also relieved.
When he was very young, he suffered such sha, being told he was his father’s disgrace, hence his father hated him. He was too young then to understand the aning behind the elders’ harshness. He indeed misunderstood Marshal Fang, desperately trying to prove himself, striving for his father’s approval. Being the successor in a general’s family, being the legitimate eldest son of a military Marquis, why were Xie Zhang and his treatnt worlds apart? The Marquis was a loving father, Xie Zhang was both scholarly and martial, why was his father so cruel wanting to see him dead?
As he grew a little older and gradually adapted to Marshal Fang’s harshness, slowly getting in tune with Marshal Fang’s pace, he also learned Yuwen Dynasty’s developnt and the Ningzhou Battlefield’s cruelty from history books, gradually understanding his father’s intentions.
Yet he could never receive his father’s praise, he longed for his father’s open acknowledgnt, but stubbornly refused to speak; becoming increasingly rebellious, self-destructive, yet climbed back from the abyss. Discovering his parents’ past, he spent a long ti in self-loathing, self-abandonnt. His parents never brought him out of the darkness. At that ti, how he longed to hear his father say, "I don’t hate you, you’re not my disgrace, I am harsh to you to ensure you survive the battlefield."
This wait lasted twenty years.
He can calmly persuade his mother not to misunderstand his father, clearly understanding his father’s deep intentions, but understanding is one thing, disdain is another.
He often thought, if only he were the son of the Xie Family, he wouldn’t have endured such suffering since childhood, repeatedly struggling on the edge of life and death. He often didn’t want to be Marshal Fang’s son, also envisioned being a leisured nobleman, why must he inherit his father’s career, generation after generation sacrificing for the country, wasn’t it all for their descendants to enjoy peaceful prosperous days?
With so many noble sons in the Capital City living in glory and wealth, why not him?
Now hearing his father’s explanation, he felt relieved, yet the harm had been done long ago.
"Have you long regained your mory?" Marshal Fang looked at Fang Chuning’s red-eyed expression, feeling uncomfortable inside; if he hadn’t regained mory, why this look?
"Yes!"
"I should have known." Marshal Fang said painfully, "In Pingnan County, you regained mory; why did you always conceal it from ? Did fooling your father feel good?"
"If I didn’t hide it, how would I know if you regretted? Don’t forget, the amnesiac poison bottle was drunk by myself personally, you lost!" Fang Chuning looked deeply at him with disappointnt and an indescribable grievance, "I gambled my life to get the outco I wanted. You rely on being my father to deprive of my power? On what grounds? Just because I’m your son, must I unconditionally obey you? Father Marshal, military orders are as immovable as mountains, a bet is a bet!"
"Why do you always speculate about with the most malicious thoughts? I do not like you being with Xie Jue. Is that a glorious matter? But I did not plan to renege on my word; my promise to you remains the sa: you can associate with him, but don’t expect to genuinely acknowledge you two."
"Unnecessary, I’m not a three-year-old, whether you acknowledge or not, I don’t care."
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