"I was very obedient. I didn’t cry or cause trouble. While the other children locked in the cages were still wailing, I was already calmly choosing an owner. After experiencing seven escape attempts and tortures, I had learned how to protect myself. Even if I was to be sold, I wanted to choose my own owner. I picked the madam of a brothel. Her surna was Liu. She was an alluring and striking woman with a kind and gentle mien. When she approached , I smiled at her. She admired my looks, and I trusted her perceived kindness. It was an instant match. Lady Liu liked to select girls with pretty appearances to train them for a good price in the future. To fetch the best price, she even hired a doctor to heal my injured hand. She fed well, clothed warmly, and raised until my teeth were white and my lips were red. For a mont, I almost thought I had encountered a good person."
Xie Xun held Fengyu’s hand. Her palm was slightly cool, damp with sweat. Heart aching, Xie Xun said, "That’s enough. Stop talking."
"Why?" Fengyu raised an eyebrow. "Do you despise ? You don’t want to listen?"
Xie Xun’s expression darkened, filled with pain.
He only felt heartache for Fengyu. He didn’t want her to revisit these harrowing mories.
"I just want to kill them!" Xie Xun said viciously.
Fengyu paused and gently patted Xie Xun’s hand. "Lady Liu took back to Jiangnan. Along the way, there were a few other young girls with , including Lady Thirteen. She asked where I ca from and why I was sold. I made up a story about a year of famine, claiming my parents had no choice but to sell . Lady Thirteen treated well, but I didn’t trust anyone and was always looking for an opportunity to escape. Every day, one of the girls traveling with us would disappear, and I didn’t know why until one sleepless night. I saw Lady Liu bring a man into the inn. I crept to the window and saw the man assaulting one of the girls traveling with us—she was only nine. One by one, those girls died from the abuse. I knew it was only a matter of ti before it was my turn. Lady Liu nearly caught spying, but Lady Thirteen helped cover for . Escaping from Lady Liu’s grasp wasn’t easy; she used drugs to control us. We were also guarded by more than a dozen strong n, making escape nearly impossible. In the end, Lady Thirteen and I poisoned Lady Liu and the Protectors... killing eighteen people in total."
Fengyu paused, noticing Xie Xun’s deeply furrowed brows. She withheld the gory details. After all, she had still been very young at the ti, and perhaps Xie Xun wouldn’t believe she could kill those people with her own hands.
But she couldn’t help it, a part of her harboring malicious honesty.
He was so upright—a righteous, compassionate young General. If he knew that she had been a scoundrel since childhood, would he still like her?
"That day, a man ca to choose a girl and picked ," Fengyu recounted as though spinning a tale, but her voice faltered for the first ti. "What filled with the most despair wasn’t the looming death but seeing my elder sister as I was being tornted. After I went missing, my sister had been leading people to search for . I watched helplessly as she rode on horseback accompanied by guards, passing beneath the building where I was kept. Later, I buried a knife into his throat. No one guards against a little girl of only a few years old. After killing him, I calmly went to find Lady Thirteen."
Fengyu took a deep breath, concealing so of the details. "We escaped and stole a large sum of money from Lady Liu. Then we encountered a famine, the money was taken from us, and Lady Thirteen and I were separated. By then, I had been missing for a year. I was too young to understand I should go to a rchant association for help. Instead, I stubbornly begged my way back to Ningzhou. Later, I t soone who gave a gemstone. That was the only good person I encountered in the two years I was abducted. I never sold that gemstone, not even during my hungriest or most desperate tis, always clutching it close to . Maybe it beca an obsession."
Those two years were filled with suffering, bloodshed, betrayal, and despair. She had been cherished and pampered in her youth, yet those years brought nothing but pain, hunger, and illness.
Walking back to Ningzhou on her own, how much suffering must she have endured? Even though Fengyu didn’t provide details, Xie Xun could easily imagine. He’d seen the plight of famine refugees.
Fengyu’s hardship exceeded even that.
That she survived was nothing short of a miracle!
No wonder... When he first t Fengyu, he thought her selfish and deceitful—a person who lived by the creed that self-preservation was paramount. No wonder her survival instinct was so strong, capable of enduring brushes with death through sheer willpower.
She had long been shattered by fate, only to heal herself piece by piece over the years.
"Xie Xun..." Fengyu reached out to touch his face. His eyes reddened, and she whispered softly, "Don’t be sad. That was ten years ago."
"You must have been so scared back then," Xie Xun said heavily, his heart aching. Who could have imagined that Fengyu had endured such a tragic past in her childhood?
"I was terrified at first when I was taken. After repeated despair, I stopped being afraid." Fengyu gave a faint laugh. "Sotis, I would think... how wonderful it would be if I could et a good person. Over ti, dark intentions took root in my heart."
"Who took you?" Xie Xun asked gravely. A gentleman’s revenge is never too late, even after ten years. He needed to know who the culprit was.
"I don’t know." Fengyu tightened her grip on his hand. "I was too young back then. Everything was in chaos, and so details are hazy. All I know is that it was an old enemy."
She made up an excuse to gloss over the topic, not wanting Xie Xun to fret over it.
Fengyu bore grudges fiercely. As a child, she was powerless against her suffering. As an adult, she vowed to find those old enemies. There were always clues.
Fengyu said, "It’s not for you to take revenge for !"
She preferred to exact her revenge herself.
"I’m sorry!" Xie Xun held her hand and brought it to his lips, his heart twisting with pain.
"For what?"
For the first ti, Xie Xun regretted his initial prejudices against her—regretted why he once leveled such hostility toward her without understanding her, why he hadn’t tried to truly know her.
At the Furong Inn, he had placed her in danger, killed in front of her.
Had he triggered her nightmares of past killings and terror? That night, after returning, had she woken up in fear? Had he unwittingly brought her more pain?
During the snowstorm, she had still helped him despite everything.
His Ayu was so kind!
But regret was futile. In his nineteen years of life, Xie Xun had never felt such profound heartache and pity for anyone. He kissed Fengyu’s eyes. "If only ti could turn back."
If it could, at their first eting, he would cherish her as if she were a treasure, never speak harshly to her, and never expose her to danger.
He would protect her, adore her.
Every prejudice he’d harbored against her now felt like a dagger stabbing his heart.
"Turning back ti isn’t necessary," Fengyu said with a soft laugh. "It’s the roads we’ve walked, step by step, that brought us to where we are now—why we’ve fallen for each other. The suffering, the biases, even the hatred, all shaped the Fengyu and Xie Xun of today. If none of it had happened, perhaps I would never have reached your heart."
"Ayu, what should I do? I want to marry you right away," Xie Xun said, his gentle kiss landing on her lips. "If I want to marry on the sa day as my brother, would you agree?"
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