The day continued without a hitch. We didn’t see any presence of the knight, even at lunch or dinner. She probably had decided to lock herself up in her room.
When we returned to our cabin, I rembered the promise I made in the morning. Hmm, I wonder if she still rembers.
"So, still want
to do it?" I smirked as I sat on the bed.
"Do it?" Felicia furrowed her eyebrows. "Do what, Milord?"
"Oh, you already forget?" My smirk grew wider. "Nevermind then."
"...W-wait! You're talking about this morning, aren't you? A-about the groping…”
“Yep!” I made grabbing motions with my hands, which promptly turned Felicia's face scarlet.
“I… I need to prepare myself first!"
"Prepare yourself?" I chuckled at her surprisingly cute reaction. "You're not a virgin. Surely your breasts have been groped many tis before."
"T-that's different! W-when it's you—my head goes all dizzy and I… I…" She trailed off.
I jumped off the bed and walked towards her. With a smile, I grabbed her hands and gathered them together.
"It's fine if you're not ready. In fact, I'm happy, seeing you like this. If I really am going to take you as my wife, I don't want to be the only one being shy and awkward in bed."
"I-I see…" Felicia averted her gaze. "But Milord, I don't think you'd do a bad job, even on our first night. Not with your libido…"
I laughed. "I'm not so sure about that. Groping and ear biting are far different than doing the deed. I feel I'll ss up. Maybe even insert it into the wrong hole."
"D-don't you worry, Milord!" She gripped my hands back. "I'll be there to guide you all the way!"
Heh, that's not very manly, is it, being guided by your female partner at sex?
"Why are you so nervous anyway?" I asked back. "Is it really just because of ?"
She nodded, before smiling grimly, looking down to our linked hands. "I already told you before—how I seduced those two n for my selfish end. I could only do that by stabbing my own soul. I believed that I was dirty and tainted, after being violated by that scum. So what did I have to lose?" Her voice shook. "I suppose I disassociated myself. I did the role I gave myself—that of a seducer. And I was good at it, or they were just disgusting filth who didn't really care about my bad acting as long as they could have my body." She looked back at . "But you, Milord, you broke those chains I gave to myself. I am now free—free from the burdens of the past. You made
believe I could be a good person—a good woman. Thus, I no longer take that role—that of a seducer, or an evil necromancer. I am now the young and naive Felicia, just an ordinary village girl." She laughed, releasing her hands from mine. "Ah, but I am simply deluding myself. I am too old to pretend I am her. So I don't know who I am now. I suppose I am your servant, Milord, devoted to you until the day I die."
I fell silent. I was right. All these years she had been living a lie, constructing a mask she wore to protect herself.
It's pitiful. No one should live that way. You would only drown in regrets, never being able to fully beco your true self. You would grow to hate yourself, just like she did.
And now, with her mask broken, she's clinging to
for guidance. For salvation. To her, I am the only person in the entire world who will take her dirty, rotten self.
For her to be happy, I have to make her love herself again.
Can I really do that? When I don't even love myself?
I took her hands once more, locking my eyes with her.
Here goes nothing.
"Listen to . I don't want you to devote the rest of your life just for . The young Felicia—she loved alchemy, didn't she? She dread of using it to heal the sick. Why don't you aspire for that dream once more? You have cured plagues before with it. How many people have you saved already, just by doing so?" I put on my best smile.
"...No." She looked away, her expression one of sorrow. "I won't chase an impossible dream. Many still died even with my dicine. My cure did not work perfectly every ti. So people were too far gone to be healed. And others had died before I could even formulate the dicine." She released her hands from mine, clasping them together near her chest. "That's why I delved into necromancy. I could prevent death by conquering it. A beautiful world without plagues and sickness. That was my dream." She chuckled. "I even fancied to open the gate to the afterlife. You know how that ended."
A disaster, I sighed.
A gate to the afterlife. In a fantasy world, such things are not that uncommon. But, usually, you would have to pay a heavy price to cheat death, which is why necromancy gets such a bad rep.
Renee… Alan… it would be nice to see them again… my father and mother of this world…
But even if I could, do I really want to see them? After all the things I did?
...No. Yearning for the past, no matter how sweet, won't change anything. One can only chase after the future, and that's what I'm going to do.
And not just mine. Felicia, Sherry, Marina, Erika — I have to make them have the happiness they deserve.
I shook my head. "That's where you're wrong. No one can save everyone. But that doesn't an you shouldn't try. That was the lesson taught to
by an old friend."
"An old friend?" She turned around with a curious look.
"Nicole. You rember her, right?"
"Ah, the priestess accompanying that Fiora girl." She smiled wryly. "Don't tell
you took a liking on her too, Milord?"
"Heh, unlike Fiora, she has no interest in
whatsoever." I shrugged with a grin. "Nevertheless, she was there to give
advice, and I admired her for it."
"I see. I'm glad then. I don't want more rivals for your affection," she frankly responded with her own grin.
Suddenly, a lightbulb lit up in my head.
"Well, if you want to win my love that badly, then I'll tell you this secret." I smirked. "I like career won the best. I don't want my wife to just stay at ho all day. I want her to go out there and make a na for herself. If you beco a famous alchemist whose na enters the annals of history, then I'll be the proudest husband that I can be."
That was a lie, unfortunately, but a white one. I'm too much of a selfish bastard to not want a proper housewife who caters to all my desires. To be welcod with a loving smile after a hard day's work — that has always been my dream.
"Do you want food? A bath? Or perhaps… ?"
Aah! How great it must feel to be greeted like that!
…
But, I can't tell that to her. She needs to recover — to rediscover who she really is and who she wants to be. This mindset of her is unhealthy and I will be a villain if I encourage it.
And besides, if I really will have two wives, then it's not so bad if one is busy with her work, since there's still the other one.
...
Ha! Look at yourself, Hugo! You think you're good enough to have a harem? You don't even know how to convince Sherry to accept Felicia!
"R-really, Milord?" Felicia's voice brought
back to the real world. "Then, if I were to beco a legendary alchemist, would you love
the most? Even more than Sherry?"
Uh oh, it's this question. Should've seen it coming.
"W-why yes! Yes, of course!"
"Oh, thank you!" She threw herself at . "I promise I won't disappoint you!"
As my face was buried in her cleavage yet again, I could only sigh. I sure hope this won't backfire in the future.
--------
In the end, she decided not to make
do the groping, saying that she'll hold off on her "reward" after she can go back to being a proper alchemist. She took out her thick and heavy tos, quickly filling out our small room with it, and resud her studies. I found out that she would tie her long hair up in a bun whenever she was in her "study mode
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