"We will now announce the winner for the 20XX National Mathematical Olympiad," the host declared, voice echoing across the grand auditorium, where hundreds sat in breathless anticipation.
Lu Qingyan sat at the front row, her hands clasped tightly in her lap, her heart pounding like a drum.
The lights overhead seed too bright, the claps too loud, every second stretching unbearably.
Her phone buzzed quietly in her pocket.
One ssage.
From her mother.
[Qingyan, after you’re done there, co to the hospital. Your brother is in critical condition. I’ll explain everything when you get here.]
Her breath hitched.
The applause around her was deafening now.
"Our grand champion for this year’s Olympiad is none other than—Lu Qingyan! A student who not only showed exceptional performance but who ca back stronger every ti she fell!"
The crowd erupted in cheers. People were standing, clapping, looking at her like she was so kind of hero.
But inside, Lu Qingyan’s world had gone deathly silent.
’The day that should’ve been my greatest triumph...’
She stared numbly ahead.
Her legs felt like lead. Applause no longer sounded like music. It sounded like crashing waves swallowing her whole.
’...beca the worst day of my life.’
An hour later.
She was sitting in the passenger seat of her teacher’s car, still clutching the dal in her hand like it might vanish.
It felt heavy. Too heavy.
"Still, you did great receiving the award. And the speech..." her teacher offered gently, glancing at her with a small, proud smile.
Lu Qingyan didn’t respond right away.
She was looking down, her fingers tightening around the hem of her dress until her knuckles turned white.
"Teacher," she whispered, her voice dry, almost breaking. "Thank you... really. But... Can we please just go to the hospital first?"
Her teacher blinked, concern washing over her face. "Of course. I’ll get us there as soon as possible."
Lu Qingyan nodded faintly, eyes fixed on the
passing blur of traffic outside the window.
Her hand drifted to her lap, where the edge of the award certificate peeked out of her bag.
In the end, she had gone up to receive it. The dal. The trophy. The recognition. The honor.
Because her brother said he wanted to see her win.
He said he’d stay by her side.
He promised.
And she’d believed him.
’This... This was supposed to be for him,’ she thought, placing a trembling hand over her face. Her tears didn’t fall yet. They just swelled, brimming, burning behind her lashes.
’I don’t even rember what state of mind I was in when I gave that speech.’
’Public opinion be damned... Should I have just left imdiately?’
Would they understand?
But no. She’d stayed. Because if she left, the award would have no aning. Because she thought—
Because she hoped—
That he’d be okay.
"That’s what he would’ve wanted," she murmured to herself. "To see on stage. Smiling."
She was lying to herself.
"Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay..." she chanted under her breath like a mantra, like a child trying to ward off monsters under the bed. "It’ll be okay. Please let it be okay..."
The screen lit up: Mom.
Her fingers trembled as she reached for it.
The world slowed down.
She pressed answer.
"Xiaoyan..." Her mother’s voice ca through, barely holding together. It cracked like ice underfoot.
"Mom. What happened? Is— Is Big Brother okay?" Lu Qingyan asked, instantly sitting up straighter, her voice sharp with panic.
Silence.
Too long.
Too loud.
Her chest tightened.
She let out a small, almost hysterical laugh. "Mom... Please don’t scare like this. He’s okay, right? You’re just ssing with , right? This is a mistake. Just tell —he’s okay. Please, tell —he’s okay."
A beat.
"I’m sorry, Xiaoyan," her mother sobbed.
It felt like the world stopped.
Sothing inside her cracked, violently.
She ended the call.
The phone slipped from her hand.
Blurgh.
She bent forward, retching as though her body couldn’t hold the grief.
Nothing ca out—just the sound of sothing breaking inside her.
"No," she whispered.
"No, no, no, no—" her voice trembled as tears finally spilled, rushing down her cheeks uncontrollably. "Brother... Brother..."
She fumbled with the necklace around her neck, pulling it open to reveal the tiny photo tucked inside: a picture of her and her brother when they were still children. She was six. He was eight. His arms wrapped around her shoulders as they grinned, two kids who believed life would always be kind.
She clutched it to her chest, sobbing so hard her body shook.
"I should’ve gone there. I should’ve been with him."
Tears blurred her vision. Her hands shook.
"What is this...?" she choked out between sobs. "I lived my whole life working so damn hard. I gave up everything... everything. So why... Why my brother?!"
She scread. A silent scream, a cry of anguish that tore her throat but made no sound.
"Why is this happening to ?" she whispered. "Why him? He was the kindest person in the world. He never even hurt a bug... And now..."
She curled into herself, burying her face in her hands.
"Please... Give him back."
No one answered.
Not even God.
She pressed the photo tighter to her chest, her tears soaking the fabric of her dress.
The day she should’ve been crowned champion.
The day she was supposed to stand tall.
The day her brother said he would watch her shine.
Was the day everything fell apart.
And all she had left... was a dal that ant nothing without him.
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