Chapter 1082: A Bit Of An Identity ’Crisis’
For so long I had worked myself up into this successful, reliable, ideal businesswoman who worked diligently to ensure that money flowed not only into my own pockets but also into the city, be it through the taxes I paid or the employees livelihoods I was responsible for.
I wasn’t squeaky clean - no one was, and if they tried to say they were they were guaranteed to be dirty sohow - and many had found so of my ’dirty’ secrets without much trouble, like how I had inherited a business instead of being completely the kind of self made that was from the ground up or how so of the business partners I had were definitely only partners for a couple of reasons...
Never had I exactly shied away from the knowledge that my body drove futanari and won crazy, but I didn’t embrace it wholly like Astra did; I had exposed myself a few tis, sucked a dick here or there, let soone wine and dine
with the obvious desire to get into my bed and sign that deal with them, but... it was rare.
It happened, it wasn’t hidden, and that was fine; but now... the woman I was becoming was so different from who I had been that I couldn’t help but beco extrely conflicted on just about everything.
My reputation was at stake, my ideals were being tainted, the things I had worked so hard for were being put at slight risk because of this... but I just couldn’t bring myself to care the sa way I had always cared.
Because why shouldn’t I be allowed to have sex with that absolutely hung Bullkin outside, or why shouldn’t I accept the advances of a powerful and useful Noble like Fenkar if it ant making everything easier for everyone involved?
Why shouldn’t I just live my life the way I was now with how much fun I was having, with how happy I was becoming, with how efficient so of these days were beginning to beco?
So what if I wanted to make a deal with so scummy Noble that was more beneficial for
business wise but involved
bouncing on their cock for a little while to make sure they were happy and content with what they were losing?
Did being this paragon of purity bring
any solutions at all to the problems in my life?
Did that purity I had prided myself on matter at all when the womb I was guarding was never ant to nourish life?
Almost imdiately my mood crashed as I honed in on that one, singular issue that just stuck with
no matter how much I wanted it to go away; my infertility, my curse... why should I of all people have to bear such a curse?
I was so good to people, to this city... and yet it was
who was stuck with a womb incapable of growing a child?
What was the point of preventing myself from getting creampied if it didn’t matter at all since any sperm pumped into
was just going to die before it actually found sowhere to nurture itself into a beautiful, wonderful baby?
Sex was sothing done primarily to reproduce; for the longest ti I was soone who held that belief at the forefront of my heart, believing so deeply in the idea that sex was ant to be done only to produce a child.
Even when the Queen called
to her bed every single night I just thought it was primarily because she wanted to have a child with , and not because it just felt good and helped her unwind, helped her get rid of her stress.
Now I knew - and now I think - she did it because it was so good; because every ti we entwined our bodies together at night, it felt absolutely divine for us both, and it made the long days worth living.
She and I both wanted a child from it, but more often than not I think she just wanted to empty her balls inside of
because she yearned to fill
with her cum and nothing more... and was she so wrong to think that?
Was I so wrong to want that nowadays?
Biting my lip and staring at the table, I continued to lose myself to those thoughts only to jolt back to reality when Astra gently smacked my hand, dragging
from my mind and forcing
to stare at her.
"Now I know my beautiful and extrely intelligent wife isn’t throwing herself into a depressing spiral for no other reason than debating whether sex is ’good or bad’."
I blinked a few tis as I looked up at her, eting those ruby red eyes and wondering what the hell she was talking about, only to smile wryly since she wasn’t entirely wrong either; when she kept going and squeezed my hand in hers I felt my heart tighten a little, flooding
with a complicated warmth.
"Sex is sex, Renna, and as long as consent is there who gives a damn about anything else? You’re still a businesswoman, still the strong and infallible Duchess that everyone looks up to. If you want to let Fenkar bang you a few tis, want to smother soone between these gigantic titties of yours, want to just suck the soul out of soone... it doesn’t change the fact that you are Duchess Poinset."
Wrapping everything in that teasing tone of hers made my smile widen a little even as my eyes watered, though before she could worry about that I just chuckled and murmured "I am still Duchess Poinset, yes... even if I use my ’gigantic titties’ here or there...
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