The next day, Mid-Autumn Festival. Near noon, the sun was radiant.
"Ring-ring-ring—ring-ring—ring———"
A sharp, piercing phone ring startled Tian Sangsang, who had been resting on the sofa with her eyes closed.
She stood up doubtfully, one hand supporting her belly, and went to answer the phone. The house had a phone installed, but it rarely rang. After all, people didn’t use phones much in these days.
She put the receiver to her ear, and it was her uncle’s voice. Tian Sangsang: "Uncle?"
Was he calling to ask them to co over? Weren’t they supposed to head over in the evening?
Her uncle said a few brief sentences, and suddenly Tian Sangsang’s expression changed. Her breathing quickly beca quieter and quieter.
The living room fell silent, so silent that even the sound of breathing vanished.
She abruptly turned around, wanting to call for Jiang Jinghuai. He had already walked out of the kitchen, as if he had been waiting for a long ti.
As if he had long known this day would co.
It felt as though all his anxiety, heaviness, and waiting over the past few days had been for this very mont.
Jiang Jinghuai quickly and gravely picked up the phone, listened for a mont, and only said one sentence in the entire exchange:
"Understood, I’ll be there soon."
Tian Sangsang lowered her gaze, staring at the tips of her shoes, her heart a chaotic mix of emotions.
"Sangsang." He turned his eyes to her, his gaze intense: "There’s a mission. I have to go."
The mont he had answered the phone, Tian Sangsang had already known. But she still couldn’t fully process it. She thought she needed more ti. Or maybe she just wanted to avoid it—she didn’t want to face reality. Yet Jiang Jinghuai rcilessly tore through her denial.
Her pale lips moved slightly, trembling as she said, "You’re leaving again? But today is Mid-Autumn Festival."
It’s a holiday for family reunions—can’t it wait just a few more days?
"It’s an urgent mission; I have to head to the border imdiately." Jiang Jinghuai let out a soft sigh. "I’ve been waiting for this day for a long ti, and it’s finally here."
Her heart clenched in pain, her eyes began to well up. Tian Sangsang wanted so badly to act as she used to—willfully, recklessly—to tell him not to go. She needed him. Especially now that she was pregnant, all sorts of irrational fears plagued her. She worried she might lose control being alone. She could be terrifying when she was fragile.
But after everything they had been through, she couldn’t bring herself to behave childishly anymore. She couldn’t be selfish.
"Go, be safe." Tian Sangsang endured the heartache tearing through her, trying to speak as calmly as she could. "Your life belongs to —keep it safe and bring it back." She thought about how much she loved his bravery, as well as his tenderness. Whether he was on a mission or at ho, he had his dual identities. In the appropriate monts, he did what needed to be done.
Jiang Jinghuai regretfully stroked her face. "I’ll be back before you give birth. Take good care of yourself. If you need anything, contact Kunling or my parents. Don’t worry about ."
"Just go already, go!" Tears welled up in Tian Sangsang’s eyes, and she couldn’t help but push him. "Say all this again when you co back." The border was such a dangerous place. She wiped her tears with her hand.
He stepped closer, wrapped his arms around her and their unborn child from behind, his hand resting on her swollen belly:
"I promise you, I’ll be back before you give birth. When I return, I’ll explain everything to you. I hope you can also explain everything to . Let’s be completely honest with each other, okay?"
"And what makes you think that just because you say it, I have to agree?" Her voice quivered with sobs. She turned her head, her eyes red from crying. It felt like both bla and playful reproach. She had already overheard so things about his family situation from others, but she still didn’t understand why he was so committed to returning to the border. And now he wanted so kind of trade-off—how unfair! Ever since she had t him, she had felt like she was constantly on the losing end.
She felt wronged and reluctant to let him go.
Like a little pitiful child, her tears made her look heartbreakingly vulnerable.
Jiang Jinghuai let out a low sigh. Yes, who was he to make such demands?
He cupped her face, pressing his searing lips to hers—a gentle taste that lingered only briefly before he let her go.
Tian Sangsang watched as he hurriedly went upstairs and then quickly ca back down, taking only a few things without even changing his clothes.
"What about eating a al before you leave?" She grabbed at his sleeve, pleading desperately.
She had tried so hard to let him go earlier, but in this mont, she couldn’t help showing her vulnerability again.
"There’s no ti..." He bent down and kissed her belly. "Be good, little one. Daddy has to go. Don’t be too naughty, or I’ll have to punish you when I co back."
After saying that, he cupped her face, his voice hoarse as he said, "Sangsang, I promise, I’ll return before you give birth. Take care of Yanyan for ; I won’t say goodbye to him."
This mission at the border had no set deadline. But he wanted to resolve everything thoroughly before welcoming new life into the world. He was determined to return before that ti—completely determined.
Tian Sangsang didn’t offer him any response, but she silently committed it to mory. She insisted on walking him out. Just as they stepped into the yard, a military vehicle was already waiting outside the gate.
A harbinger of fate.
She wanted to hold him, but her belly was in the way.
Jiang Jinghuai said, "Don’t see off any further. Go back, I’m really leaving."
She grabbed his hand, stood on tiptoes, and gently kissed his cheek.
Her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes, making it nearly impossible to see his face. "I’ll wait for you to co back."
He froze for a mont, as if tempted to return the kiss, but she abruptly pushed him away. "Go! You’re going to be late!" Turning away, tears stread uncontrollably down her face, flooding her cheeks. As she heard the sound of the car starting, she covered her mouth, suppressing the ache in her throat. Clinging to a stubborn hope, she turned back to take another look. But outside the gate, there was only an empty road with clouds of dust swirling in the wind.
Tian Sangsang wiped away her tears and quietly walked back into the living room. It was only one person less in the house, yet the entire room felt lifeless. Silently, she went upstairs, sat by the bed, and gazed at her son’s adorable sleeping face.
Perhaps sensing her eyes on him, ng Shuyan soon woke up.
"Mommy." The little one mumbled softly. Mommy’s eyes were red—had she been crying?
Tian Sangsang’s tears had dried, and she smiled faintly. "Did Mommy wake you up? Go back to sleep."
But ng Shuyan pushed his small body up and wrapped his arms around her belly, resting his fluffy head on her arm. He could no longer nestle in her lap like he used to. His big eyes curved as he smiled suddenly, saying, "Mommy, tomorrow I still want to go swimming with Daddy."
Her eyes stung. Tian Sangsang raised her left hand to caress his head. "Daddy’s not here. He’s gone on a mission."
Slowly, ng Shuyan raised his clear eyes to et hers. They stared at each other silently for a mont before his head drooped, and a big tear dropped from his eye. He pouted. "I’ll wait for Daddy to co back."
Tian Sangsang pulled his small body into her arms, gently stroking his back. "We’ll wait together." She thought she’d grow used to this, but it still hit her hard, especially since it was so sudden. Maybe it was the Mid-Autumn Festival’s sentintal atmosphere amplifying the pain, or maybe it was because of her pregnancy—everything just felt so much harder to bear this ti. But now, she wouldn’t cry excessively. She would swallow her grief, hiding it deep within herself.
This Mid-Autumn Festival, a family gathering was out of the question. The sa was true for her uncle’s household. Even Jiang Jingshan had gone to the border. Going forward, there would only be solitary hearts, understanding their silence in separate places.
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