Two weeks passed since they headed to Estrella and Arabella began getting worried once she was supposed to sleep.
She had watched herself die 14 tis and it wasn’t a pretty sight. She might just get crazy at this rate. Especially since all her deaths were related to her beloved husband in so way.
It was almost as if soone was telling her that her current relationship with Ferdinand would also end up in her death.
She didn’t mind dying. It would happen to everyone soday. She already experienced it before. But for her future with Ferdinand to seem bleak once again or rather, to seem impossible, was dreadful.
In each of her reincarnations, Ferdinand’s appearance grew more and more mature. His dragon form had grown bigger and bigger too. It ant a long ti had passed before she was reincarnated and t him again.
By her tenth reincarnation, Ferdinand was able to see her soul, so he figured that her tenth identity was the reincarnation of the previous ones. That Ellie was the first and after that, he kept encountering her after several thousands of years had passed.
If he had not lived that long, and if he was not a dragon who was able to recognize Ellie’s presence even when she was reincarnated to the next life, he wouldn’t have figured it out. But his life was awfully long so he got to encounter her repeatedly.
He also realized that she was not the only one he had been encountering again. There were people he t before and encountered as soone else as well after eons.
However, she was the only one who repeatedly got entangled with him even when he tried to prevent it. He wondered if it was because he kept staying nearby because he could not forget her presence, unlike the others whom he simply ignored because they were not relevant to him.
Ferdinand had repeatedly tried to never show himself to her. But since he had figured Ara, Eleanor and all the others were Ellie’s reincarnations, he tried to protect her from afar even more. But no matter how he tried avoiding her, they still ended up eting face to face, and their tragic cycle kept repeating.
Arabella dreaded seeing it all. Especially since in all those mories, she often fell in love with Ferdinand, and he never loved her back as a woman. He broke her heart and her expectations several tis.
There were also tis he accidentally ruined her romantic relationship with soone and caused her to have a miserable and lonely life until she died full of regrets.
Arabella had already lived this life before and experienced it going awry. Thus, she had been trying to make this life different from how she lived it before. She wanted this to go a better route this ti and live a happy life with Ferdinand and their future children.
But what was with all those mories?
How co she had been reincarnated several tis and had fallen in love with Ferdinand, but it was never reciprocated and ended in her death instead?
Why did all her relationships with him in those reincarnations not end up well no matter what kind? Be it friendship, comradery, or whatever was there. They always had a tragic ending.
It was indeed as if soone was telling her that her current relationship with Ferdinand would also not end well.
That it would end miserably.
Or that she should not be with him at all.
Was soone trying to tell her they were not ant to be? That they would not be happy at all? That they would only keep causing each other’s misery?
Arabella was not that scared of dying since she had experienced it before. Her feelings not getting reciprocated by Ferdinand in her past reincarnations were no longer an issue as well since he loved her very much this ti.
However, she hated the thought of their relationship ending to ruin again in this life. Couldn’t they also experience a happy ending?
And the worse that could happen to them was causing each other’s misery. She didn’t want that to happen again. She had already experienced it in her previous life. She hated the thought of it happening again.
Arabella began to dread sleeping since she would only get a glimpse of their sad pasts yet again. It made her fear what kind of tragic ending she would see about them.
* * *
"Arabella, aren’t you exhausted? You should sleep," Ferdinand inquired when she straddled him just a minute after their supposedly last round for the night.
"Let’s keep doing it until the sun is up," Arabella temped her husband since she didn’t want to sleep.
Ferdinand’s body easily reacted to her words. Especially with her straddling him. But after several more rounds and she asked to be healed so her body would not feel exhausted, he got suspicious. She was planning to do so work instead of sleeping.
Her work had been brought here the past few days since not doing any work from the Imperial Palace made her worry that things might not be going well there. Thus, her husband reluctantly allowed her to work. Especially since he was still doing work here as well.
Moreover, working also distracted her from having negative thoughts and kept her mind on the current issues they had to deal to with.
"What are you doing? Why are you getting up?" Ferdinand frowned.
"I’m going to go to the bath. I feel so refreshed so I will do so work before sleeping."
"What? Shouldn’t you sleep first?" Ferdinand got worried.
"I don’t feel sleepy," she lied. She turned away and hid her yawn.
Just saying the word sleepy made her eyelids feel heavy since they had an intense night.
Doing it with Ferdinand vigorously helped keep her mind off the mories she saw. It helped assure her that in this life, she was loved and desired by him.
"What kind of mory did you see the other night?" Ferdinand inquired. He figured she did not want to sleep because of those.
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