'Guiying' tiredly shrugged Ai off. "You knew nothing because the idiot didn't tell you anything. How are you supposed to know then?"
"J-Jun said the sa."
"Then why are you still crying?"
She rubbed her misty eyes, choking slightly in her throat. "Because I am your friend. We-we were best friends. I always thought we were so close to each other. Our bond as two friends was so strong. That's what I always…believed in. But I was proved wrong. Every ti…"
Whether it was the past life where Guiying 'betrayed' Ai and said those harsh things to her before she fell to her death or in this lifeti where she learned about another personality of hers - Ti and again Ai ca to a bitter realization that she knew nothing about Guiying.
"And I couldn't help but wonder…if I could do nothing to help you then what s-sort of a friend was I to you?"
'Guiying' narrowed her eyes. "That's why I never liked you."
Ai blinked. She was well aware of 'her' dislike for her, but it still stabbed her heart.
"You wanted to be Guiying's best friend and all, but you never ca forward with your share of pain either. I hate you because even if you had a broken family yourself, your parents still acted like humans. They raised you well, and I despised you for it. I was so frustrated that Guiying could never feel the sa love from her family as you did. You two were in similar positions but why did only Guiying have to suffer? She cannot even kill an ant, but why was she beaten up everyday like trash but you had all the warmth of your parents?"
"I…I-I…" Ai didn't know how to answer.
'She' weakly waved her hand, staring at the ceiling above. "I know it's senseless. You have your own fate. Guiying was born with her own. I cannot bla you for the family she was born into but it still…" 'she' bit her lip, "was so damn frustrating. It wasn't just . Guiying felt jealous of you too. I rember that day very well when she t your parents for the first ti, Uncle Zhou and Aunt Xie. And I still rember how she wished she never left your ho. It was so warm and fluffy with them and back at her ho, it was as if she was dropped to hell all over again. It was Uncle and Aunt who made her aware for the first ti how family love actually felt like…"
Tears plopped down Ai's eyes as her body trembled.
'Guiying' continued. "But when we saw that your parents' distance bothered you and it pained you to see them living divorced and apart, I only felt more and more anger bubbling inside for you."
'She' glared at Ai, and she straightened up. "Compared to Guiying who was rotting in hell every single day, you lived a life of luxury. Yes, I am calling your life a luxury despite your parents' divorce because at least they weren't punching you until you beca a ragged doll. Even if they were divorced, they respected each other a lot. Even a blind man can see that. They never beca vicious - neither towards each other nor towards you. So what did you still have to complain about?"
"Stand at Guiying's place. She lost her parents. The one person who was supposed to support her through thick and thin abused her too. What was she left with? Nothing. In our eyes you had everything she wanted since she was little…" 'she' gnashed her jaw, "even her brother's love."
Ai stiffened.
'Guiying' laughed. "Can you believe it? Cai Lingyun treated her like garbage because of his own insecurities but when he t you, he acted like a completely different person. That man freaking adored you! He would talk about you as if you were so Goddess. He doted on you so much that it made puke. Can you imagine how Guiying felt?
Here she was struggling to have her brother treat her as a human in the first place and you…you easily gained that affection in no ti. You got every single thing which she desperately wanted the most. She felt like a loser, otherwise why would her parents leave her? Why would her own brother never love her but her friend who he just t for the first ti!?"
'Guiying' paused to take a breath. The years of animosity piled up in 'her' heart had escaped in full swing.
"That bastard Cai Lingyun…he always praised you so much. How smart you are, how beautiful you are. Guiying was compared with you in every aspect and in his eyes, she failed all of them. But then…then she got hope when she started writing. She got praise from her teachers. For the first ti…" 'her' eyes teared up, "she thought that she had so talent. That she wasn't a failure. Maybe now her brother would look at her. Feel proud of her…
Guiying was genuinely happy when she encouraged you to pursue writing. But even there, you stole the lilight. He brought that comparison yet again and this ti in your stories. Then he had another thing to praise you for. How smart you are, how beautiful you are and how lovely stories you wrote."
Ai clenched her fists.
"Then that ti for writing competition ca in high school," 'Guiying' plainly said, "And honestly, Guiying was terrified of you participating in it. When you said you won't participate because that day fell on your parent's anniversary, she was honestly…relieved. Yet amidst those conflicting feelings, she encouraged you to participate. And then what happened? Guiying won. But she secretly heard that the winner was supposed to be you. That..."
'Guiying' trembled. "That devastated her. She had stood motionless there for a long ti. That victory had felt like a pitiful one. She had lost that one thing she had pinned her hopes upon because in Cai Lingyun's eyes, Guiying had failed yet again."
Reviews
All reviews (0)