His words hung in the air for a few long monts. The silence felt as if it dissipated the little comforting atmosphere that was present between them. Lin’s neither agreent nor denial to that question made Hou Fa confident about his assumption.
"I am not saying anything against it," he added when the silence stretched too long to feel comfortable.
"I had been thinking about it for a while. His claim to adopt you seed ridiculous at the ti, but then it made sense to . Not like I was any great of a father to you. But he was there when you needed him. He wants to give you everything that I couldn’t. He supported your decisions. Which is good. I guess you will finally have a father to lean on. So...wh-when are you going to do the adoption formalities?"
When he finally t Lin’s gaze after speaking his mind, he was taken aback to witness disappointnt in his eyes.
"Is this your way of disowning for good?"
"Disowning?" Hou Fa only weakly smiled. "Isn’t it the other way around? I know it. You are going to accept his proposal, aren’t you?"
"Yes," he didn’t beat around the bush.
Hou Fa gave a slow nod, as if he had already co to terms with this future.
"I understand. He was good to you. When he put forth his decision to adopt you, no matter how arrogant that had looked, I felt his sincerity towards you. He looked like..." his gaze dropped slightly, sha flickering in his eyes, "like a real father at that ti. So I thought it wouldn’t be surprising if you would choose him."
"This isn’t about choosing him or you. The adoption process is just so legal formalities. I am not changing my last na."
Hou Fa stared at him as if what he just said didn’t make sense to him at all.
"Huh? Sorry, what?"
"I am not changing my last na."
"...How co? Then what’s the adoption for?"
"It’s more of a legal recognition between Mr. Zhong and . I wasn’t in favor at first, but then I thought..." his gaze beca somber as he slowly said, "that if he really, really wants this, then I don’t want to be disrespectful to his wishes because you are right. He has done a lot for . He was there for and in his own way, he cared for . I would have treated him as my family irrespective of any legal status, but if putting my na on paper comforts his heart, then I don’t want him to keep living in a constant anxious state of mind. You and him both are too old for that."
His brow faintly twitched at the last part.
"But...how can you still keep your last na when..."
He blinked. "I am an adult, not a child so this adoption doesn’t function as giving custody or replacing parents. Being his son is the sa as being yours - having social acknowledgent as his son, inheritance rights, and next-of-kin status. It doesn’t an that you will stop being my father. It just ans that I have two fathers now."
Hou Fa couldn’t form a response for a long ti. He found his hyperventilating condition hitting him back with all force.
"But why? You don’t have to keep the na that didn’t...really give you any happiness. I think Zhong Sihan will be happier to see his na with yours."
"He is happy enough to see my na on all the legal papers. He is not actually fussing about a na change that much. Even if he had, I wouldn’t have agreed. I don’t see a need for it. I was Hou Lin. I am Hou Lin. Hou Lin has always been my identity. It’s not about which na gives more happiness."
Hou Fa breathed out and a tear slipped on his cheek that he quickly wiped away. A tremor gripped his heart as he felt his entire being dissolve in sha and self-loathe. He had prepared himself for the inevitable, yet sowhere in his heart, he couldn’t help but be selfish and cling to his sons - even though he knew he had no right.
The lost years mounted on him yet again like an undefeatable obstacle, and he was aware it would always be this way for the rest of his life. For a son who could have easily discarded his na yet chose to keep it only bombarded the truth at him once again just how he failed him as a father.
"Are you crying?"
"No," he imdiately refuted, looking away.
"I can see that you are crying."
"It’s just so dust that went into my eyes."
Lin held an almost blank expression. "Did Shui teach you that excuse?"
"What? No."
"Is that so? I feel that dust is a common factor whenever I see sobody cry."
His gaze almost fud into a glare which toned down as quickly as it had flared. "..I wasn’t crying like I said."
"I see," he didn’t comnt further but it was clear that he was far from convinced.
When Cai returned, the odd air hit him at once, seeing that Hou Fa seed weird.
"Were you crying?"
"..."
Lin looked up. "Apparently, so dust went into his eyes."
Cai threw a disdainful look at Hou Fa, offended that they were being treated like idiots.
Can you two not leave alone!?
Shui’s footsteps sounded at the entrance before any of them noticed her presence.
"Did I miss sothing?" she asked, her tone light but careful, shifting her gaze from one man to another.
Cai glanced at her and shrugged. "Apparently, the house is very dusty today."
Hou Fa cleared his throat a little too forcefully and stood up. "I’ll go check on the kitchen."
He retreated a bit too quickly. Shui watched his back shaking her head, then turned to Lin. She reached out and straightened the collar of his shirt, her fingers brushing past his shoulder.
"Boxes are done outside," she said. "We should load them soon."
Lin nodded. "Okay."
Cai exhaled slowly. "I’ll get the car."
"Hehe, don’t worry, Cai. Bro will be our chauffeur for today~"
"Definitely forced to be a chauffeur," he clicked his tongue.
"The source doesn’t matter," she coughed.
As he left, she leaned closer and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I am proud of you."
His head slightly lowered, eting her bright eyes. "Really?"
"Two hundred percent," she chuckled.
Lin t her gaze briefly, then gently pinched the tip of her nose.
Shui slightly pouted. "Don’t baby ."
He paused for a mont and nodded. "Indeed. I should boyfriend you then."
"What’s that supposed to an?"
He smiled and dropped his head further, making their lips et soft and slow.
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