Chapter 367 A selfish desire was triggered
“Stop it. Fourth Uncle! It hurts!” ng Xuan only felt pain all over his body and began to struggle again. He continued pleading, “My heart is already burned into ash and I don’t want to live in this world anymore. Fourth Uncle, please stop it. Xiaoyi is still waiting for down there. I’m afraid that she will be taken away by others again if I’m late!”
“Hush. Just lie still.” ng Xi frowned and his forehead was covered with thin sweat. He comforted in a soft tone, “Didn’t I tell you that it just hurt at the beginning? You shouldn’t have felt painful now, but you can’t focus so that it hurts more.”
ng Xuan’s face looked gloomy. He said in a dull voice, “The pain in my body is nothing. What I can’t bear is that in my heart. In my previous life, I was so close to her but I let her go. I was her first man but I took to the woods and left her alone. I felt very regretful as soon as I thought of these things. Fourth Uncle, why does God fool people like this? She and I were destined to miss each other in the previous life, but this life, we could’ve been together while I still lost her. Fourth Uncle, could you predict when we will finally get together forever?”
ng Xuan just wanted to end his life so he said whatever he wanted and kept talking about “the previous life” and “this life”. Of course, ng Ying didn’t understand what he said at all but just thought that he said those weird things because he was injured and sick at the sa ti and couldn’t think clearly. ng Xi understood ng Xuan’s words about “the previous life” but he didn’t know the details and it wasn’t convenient for him to ask more since ng Ying was here. He could just comfort vaguely, “Things always happen this way. You can’t get what is good easily and you won’t cherish it if you obtain sothing with no pain. Once a couple starts to complain about each other or even keep arguing, that will be the most racking thing. Now you and that woman are in the perfect state. I’ll help you but you should stay still now and take what I’m transmitting to you.”
ng Xuan opened his eyes in disbelief and turned his head to ask, “What do you an? Is Xiaoyi still alive? Can I still get together with her? Where is she? Ah! Stop! It hurts!”
ng Xi felt slightly helpless and replied, “Transmitting internal energy is a very serious matter, but you don’t focus on it at all. You deserve to feel pain! If you struggle again, it will hurt more!”
“Ah! Ouch!” Tears welled up in ng Xuan’s eyes. He tried to face ng Xi and asked pitifully, “Is Xiaoyi still alive? Fourth Uncle, please tell the truth. My life isn’t held in my hand at all but hers. I’ll go wherever she is. We’re indivisible.”
“I never lie. I also don’t know that woman’s condition.” ng Xi answered, “Since you miss her, you should take good care of yourself and accept what I give you well. You can go find her after you recover. Whether she is still alive or not, you should et her again, right?”
“Then,” ng Xuan begged, “Fourth Uncle, please do it lightly. I feel very uncomfortable. Can’t we change our pose?”
“You brat, don’t ask for more after you’ve gained a steal.” ng Xi pressed him harder and said while panting, “Now you and I are one. I can feel how painful you are. It’s you to bla because you’re not concentrated.”
“...”
ng Ying’s vision beca blurry gradually and couldn’t see clearly the two overlapping bodies on the bed. He felt extrely confused. Why? Why did Fourth Uncle treat ng Xuan so well? It even violated the selfish desires ordinary people would have and the most basic ethics! Why did he give the best and most valuable thing to ng Xuan instead of anyone else? He gave ng Xuan the position of “Lord of Qi Yang”, Mysteries of “Immortality”, Changfeng Formula, and Kunlun Begonia, and also taught him kung fu with personal examples as well as verbal instruction. Fourth Uncle treated ng Xuan dozens of tis better than he treated his own sons.
ng Ying couldn’t deny the thoughts haunting in his mind and the bitter feeling he had. He was indeed envious of ng Xuan. He wanted neither to think like this nor to feel jealousy as if his heart was burning on fire. Moreover, he was envying his younger brother. However, he couldn’t control his mind.
Despite things that happened before, about Mysteries of “Immortality”, when ng Xuan and he were about four or five, they pleaded with ng Xi together to teach them. Then, they heard that it could just be given to one person and they gave up the thought at the sa ti because if ng Xi gave it to another person, he would lose it utterly. How could their Fourth Uncle admired as a god by them beco an ordinary man? What’s more, such a unique and precious thing would definitely be given to his own sons. Every emperor would pass the throne to his biological son. Was there any one of them that would give it to his nephew?
However, ng Xuan was given the unique position of “Lord of Qi Yang” and the unique Mysteries of “Immortality” and Principles of “Two Lives”. ng Xi had given him everything. His eldest son nad ng Jing was twenty-two and the second-eldest son nad ng Tian was twenty-one. They were both talents. If ng Xi chose one of them to succeed his skills based on the conventions, ng Ying might be less envious...
Changfeng Formula and Kunlun Begonia were the two skills ng Xi was most proud of all his life. The forr one was the most powerful cultivation thod and the latter was the best weapon-using thod. They weren’t unique, but ng Xi still only passed them to ng Xuan...
Back then, all sons from ng’s Family wanted to beco their Fourth Uncle’s disciples and learn his doctrines by his side, but ng Xi said he was used to living freely and he wouldn’t accept any disciple until he wanted to settle down soday. Thus, everyone knew Lord of Qi Yang had no successor. Even his two sons failed to learn the quintessence of the mysterious Changfeng Formula.
When ng Xi refused to accept disciples, ng Ying and ng Xuan were just six or seven, but less than half a year later, one day ng Ying saw ng Xuan exerting Changfeng Formula to save people. His movents looked very standard and they were just the sa as what ng Xi usually did. It could be seen that he must’ve practiced the cultivation thod for more than two years. ng Ying asked him why but he couldn’t answer it clearly. Then, ng Ying realized what happened. It turned out that ng Xi was teaching ng Xuan kung fu secretly! ng Xuan beca the only successor of Changfeng Formula! It wasn’t that ng Xi didn’t want to accept any disciple, but that he had a low opinion of all sons of ng’s Family except for ng Xuan!
At that ti, ng Ying also had a similar bitter feeling. He thought, “Since Fourth Uncle has accepted a disciple secretly, why can’t he accept as well? Am I much inferior to ng Xuan? Am I less adorable than him? Isn’t Fourth Uncle also intimate with ? Is intimacy also graded? ng Xuan and Fourth Uncle are ‘very intimate’ while he and I are just ‘intimate’? There’s a grade difference here?
What’s more, since ng Xuan had been admitted by an almighty master, why didn’t he try to consider ? I’ve been sharing with him my food and clothes since we were just children. As long as I got sothing, I thought of him right away. Every ti he made trouble, I would stand out to take the blas for him. I’ve been beaten frequently by our father with a whip. At least half of the punishnt should have been endured by him.
ng Xuan was always obedient and smart, but why did he hide such a serious thing from this ti? Why did he keep it a secret from his brother? Why didn’t he ntion to Fourth Uncle that ng Ying also had the talent for learning a powerful skill like Changfeng Formula? Isn’t it better that we learn it together and he gets a strong brother who can protect him? Is he afraid that I may surpass him? Does he regard as a rival secretly? Does he also crave for succeeding the title of Earl Baoding...”
Since then, although he didn’t complain about anything, ng Ying still felt a wedge had been driven between ng Xuan and him. He beca less sincere to ng Xuan, but he still expected that seeing his behaviors and attitude, ng Xuan might realize he was angry and would make up to him by asking Fourth Uncle to accept one more disciple. However, three or four years had passed, such a good thing still didn’t happen to him. Thus, he beca angrier with ng Xuan and also with himself because he kept sulking instead of asking ng Xuan for an explanation face to face. After being in the sulk like this for several years, he gradually grew up, and what he wanted to ask also remained in his heart as a secret.
Then, ng Xuan who was closest to him among their eleven brothers was gradually estranged from him. It wouldn’t have ended like this originally if ng Xuan had been more honest or he had been more generous, but both of them failed so that they beca less intimate even if they were biological brothers. ng Ying had also thought about making changes, but ng Xuan beca more and more mysterious as he grew up and they couldn’t be as intimate as they were before anymore. Even though he didn’t say anything, ng Ying knew he wasn’t an ordinary man. He had lots of secrets and often foresaw things astonishingly. If ng Ying happened to notice that, he would beg ng Ying to keep it a secret for him. ng Ying always answered him, “Okay. I’ll help you.” However, he grew more and more afraid of ng Xuan deep in his heart.
He had also warned himself that he shouldn’t think the worst of ng Xuan but treated his brother more tolerantly and genially. Otherwise, the weeds of jealousy had sprouted in his heart and grew day by day. No matter how he stopped them, they just spread wildly. He read “Every day I examine myself on three counts” in the academy every day and he did keep examining himself, but it couldn’t stop anything. He had been envious of his incredibly brilliant brother all the ti.
He wondered why ng Xuan could always be confident about everything and succeed in doing everything easily? Why couldn’t he even be half as excellent as ng Xuan? Was ng Xuan God’s favorite? Why did God give the best talent and luck to the sa person? How unfair it was!
Thus, in ng’s Family, not only ng Xian, the eldest son, but also ng Ying, ng Xuan’s biological brother, was envious of ng Xuan. ng Xian just showed his jealousy in his words or behaviors while ng Ying hid it deep in his heart. He never showed it or tricked ng Xuan openly and secretly, so ng Xuan never bewared of him on purpose. Maybe in ng Xuan’s opinion, he was still the kind and friendly elder brother who rode hobby horses together with him in their childhood.
Maybe those who were very talented were always insensitive and seldom thought about these things. Maybe only those who weren’t preferred by God or surrounded by honors would have such dark and negative thoughts. ng Ying felt he was relatively lucky. He was handso and born to be the successor of the title of Earl Baoding. He was respected wherever he went. However, ng Xian, as a son of a concubine, was often cold-shouldered at ho or outside. He must have accumulated much resentnt these years so that after he grew up, he beca very aggressive and targeted ng Xuan who was the most brilliant one among his brothers.
One day, ng Xuan saved a kid under a carriage on the street. His movents were so amazing that their father felt very surprised and happy and thought he was a genius who would have a bright future. Thus, he was given a fast promotion to work in the army, and not long later, he was promoted to be Pioneer General. People all admired and discussed this excellent young general who could even fight fiercely and kill invaders at the age of ten.
ng Ying smiled bitterly at that ti. ng Xuan surprised people again and stole his thunder even though he ranked first on every subject in the academy. Was it lucky or not to have a brother who was excellent and close to him? Sotis ng Ying thought of the story about “Since Zhou Yu was born, why should Zhuge Liang be in this world”. Was he too selfish? Shouldn’t he feel honored for having a brilliant brother like ng Xuan? In the future, after he succeeded their father’s position and beca the garrison marshal, he would have soone loyal and helpful by his side, wouldn’t he?
Later, ng Xuan stayed in Yangzhou City for so ti and got insubordinate after he went back to the army. He even talked back to their father as if he was a firework that could be easily set off. Unfortunately, their father was also irritable those days. The father and son were in the sa mood so neither of them made a concession. At that ti, ng Xian and ng Ying were also there. ng Xian seized the chance and incited their father to club ng Xuan to teach him a lesson. ng Ying diated them but he didn’t try his best for so reason. After shoves and quarrels, ng Xuan didn’t give in at all, which utterly irritated their father who stood for absolute authority. At last, ng Xuan was clubbed very hard.
Seeing ng Xuan who had his clothes wetted by blood and was at his last gasp, ng Ying felt slightly happy. Such a vicious feeling shocked him imdiately.
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