Chapter 31 part II
Zhenzhu could only pay her respects as per the customs and then sat quietly, letting him talk to his mother. Whenever she tried to slip away, her hand would be held back each ti. Thus, she had to sit and listen to him talk to his mother with calm decorum. At this mont, Yong Saiweihao seed like a little boy who had gone on a grand adventure and returned to tell his mother all about it. His voice was filled with fun, excitent, sorrow, and vigor, ending with a gentle longing tone.
After a long while, he finally turned to her and spoke in a flat voice.
"Zhu’er, do you know that I killed my own mother?"
Zhenzhu nodded to his statent, but upon reflecting on the aning of his words, her eyes widened in shock. What did he an?
Killed his mother!
What does he an by killing his mother!
Was he joking? How could soone whose eyes were filled with love, care, longing, and regret be capable of killing his mother? But in that mont, she saw his eyes filled with endless sorrow. This was the first ti he revealed his most vulnerable side to her—eyes filled with sadness, pain, regret, and fear. He was afraid. His large hand, which had been holding hers, slowly loosened. Her shocked expression created a crack in his heart once more.
Regaining her composure, Zhenzhu quickly raised her hand to grasp his.
"Brother Hao, it’s okay. You didn’t an to, right? It’s okay. Zhao Furen is not angry with you. She won’t bla you," Zhenzhu said with a trembling voice, lightly patting the back of his hand to comfort him. She believed there must have been a reason for him to do such a thing. He loved his mother so deeply; how could he intentionally kill her? With that, she threw herself into his arms.
"Brother Hao... I won’t leave you. I’m right here," the young woman sensed his body tremble for a mont after she finished her sentences before regaining its steadiness. She knew what he feared—that she would leave him, that she wouldn’t stay with him anymore.
"Zhu’er... I love you." This was his promise in front of his mother’s grave. Zhenzhu felt the firmness in his voice and body language. Yong Saiweihao held her in his embrace, conveying his every drop of sincerity, even speaking these words in front of his mother.
Zhenzhu nodded against his strong chest. She knew.
They embraced for a long mont before he took her hand and led her to the pavilion not far away.
"Do you want to know how I killed my mother?" Yong Saiweihao’s face had returned to its usual calm, so were his eyes. Zhenzhu could no longer sense any vulnerability in his gaze.
Yet, she wasn’t sure.
"Brother Hao, you don’t have to tell if it makes you uncomfortable."
"I want to tell you."
"..."
"Since I was five years old..." Yong Saiweihao began to recount his childhood, a story from long ago yet it was deeply etched into his heart and could never be erased.
Back when he was a child, Yong Saiweihao went out in the winter to buy coal himself to keep his little sister warm, she was just a few months old. However, he ended up wandering around and didn’t return ho until late evening. When he got back, he found that many of the household servants had been killed, and his mother had been taken. His father was not at ho that day due to urgent business at the military camp. In his youth, without fully considering the consequences, Yong Saiweihao secretly followed the bandits’ carriage, not wanting to lose track of his mother. The bandits eventually noticed him following and captured him along with his mother. When they reached the bandits’ destination, he realized that the leader was his father’s sworn enemy.
The perpetrator had practiced a forbidden art known as Hypnotic Potion, a technique that could control others’ minds. Young Yong Saiweihao was forced to ingest a special potion that, combined with the Hypnotic Potion art, allowed his mind to be easily controlled. Thus, he was manipulated into brutally killing his own mother. This traumatic experience forged his determination to train relentlessly until he beca the strong Young General he is today. Yet, the past event continually reminded him of his mistake that led to the loss of his mother at his own tainted hands.
Hao’er, Mother does not bla you. Do not bla yourself. Mother loves you, were the last words he heard from his mother.
"Brother Hao, Zhao Furen wouldn’t bla you. She would understand because she loved you so much." Even in her last monts, she expressed her love for him. Yong Saiweihao was a fortunate person, born amidst the love of his parents. Despite growing up driven by the dark mories of his childhood in his heart, he turned out to be a good-hearted person, not letting his past mistakes warp his mind as his enemies intended. He grew into a majestic and honorable man, considered a good man. She was proud of him.
"Zhao Furen would be proud of you."
"Mmm." This was the darkest part of his heart that he revealed to her.
Both of them gazed at the grave of the great mother and finally smiled together. She was probably smiling at his success right now.
"I have sothing I haven’t told you as well." After a long silence, Zhenzhu decided to speak up, breaking the quiet. He had poured out his deepest secret; now it was her turn to share hers.
"Hmm?"
Zhenzhu held out her empty hand in front of him. Monts later, a golden fish scale appeared on her pale pink palm.
"A fish scale?"
"It’s not a fish scale," Zhenzhu said. She knew it wasn’t a real fish scale, but she was used to calling it a golden fish scale. She didn’t know what else it could do or if one day it might even send her back to where she ca from.
"This is sothing I’ve had since my previous life. Brother Hao, do you believe ?"
"I believe you."
"Hmm?" Zhenzhu raised an eyebrow in confusion. Why did he believe so easily? She hadn’t even told him her story yet.
"I believe you," the young man reiterated, reassuring her. Hearing this, the young woman smiled brightly and began to tell him her story from the past.
"My na is Li Jing..., I’m... well..., you could call a scholar. I graduated from a university... it’s a place of learning for scholars," Zhenzhu explained haltingly, trying to describe the elents of her previous life so he could understand. Yong Saiweihao was exceptionally intelligent, quickly grasping the concepts and even offering his thoughts on what he found comndable, such as a society where people lived together without class distinctions and greater social equality than in the present era. He was indeed a forward-thinking person. Zhenzhu recounted her story up to the point where she had inhabited He Zhenzhu’s body and continued living as such, eventually eting him.
"You’re very capable, Zhu’er," Yong Saiweihao raised his hand, gently patting her head as he often did. He believed her and felt grateful for the thing lying in her hand that had brought her to him. He felt grateful to it for sending this woman to him.
"You believe everything I said?" Zhenzhu raised an eyebrow in doubt. If she told her story to others, they would probably think she was delusional. She had expected him not to believe her.
"I believe you," he replied without hesitation. There was no reason for her to lie, and many of her actions and traits were indeed out of sync with current society. So, it wasn’t hard for him to decide.
"Have you ever seen its true form, Zhu’er?" Yong Saiweihao asked, staring at the golden scale in her hand.
"No, I’ve only seen its manifestation as a little boy. After that, I haven’t encountered it again. So, I don’t know what it wants or what will happen in the future."
Yong Saiweihao pondered this, recalling the ti they were in the Jianghe field when she asked what he would do if she wasn’t there forever. When he asked where she would go, she ntioned death or a faraway place. She must have ant returning to where she ca from. This thought made the young man montarily fearful that the golden dragon scale might actually take her back.
"Brother Hao, don’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet. Let’s enjoy our ti together," she said, noticing his worried expression.
Zhenzhu reached into her dinsional bracelet and pulled out a water bottle. She poured so water into a bowl, dipped the golden scale in it, and then handed it to him.
"When you were gravely ill, I was so afraid, terrified that you might leave . Do you know how severe your condition was? Even breathing too hard could have taken your last breath away. The physician said that no spirit energy should be transferred into your body because if anything went wrong, you would have gone to Yellow Springs. At that ti, I didn’t dare risk giving you the spiritual energized water, but now you can drink it. It’s very beneficial for your health." Although she knew that the spiritual energized water contained pure, concentrated spirit energy, she feared that with his damaged energy channels unable to hold spirit energy, the pure spirit energy might destroy his frail, nearly broken body at that ti.
The spiritual energized water might not imdiately heal Yong Saiweihao’s energy channels, but it could gradually nd them over ti. Whether it took a year, two years, five years, or even ten years, it would at least be beneficial to his body.
Yong Saiweihao nodded slowly. Instead of taking the bowl of water from her hand to drink, he lowered his handso face slowly, guided her hand to lift the bowl higher, and placed his lips on the rim of the bowl, gulping down the spiritual energized water as if he had been parched for years. He trusted her. If the water in this bowl had been poison, he would have died right there.
The young woman almost let go of the bowl if it hadn’t been for his large hand holding it. Watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed the water made her turn her face away. Shaless!
"Good."
"Wha...what’s good?"
"The water is good."
Crash! The empty ceramic bowl fell and shattered on the ground.
Good water! What’s good water? How infuriating!
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