Leaving the Yueguang, Li Caiyi felt her brain had been fried from so much thinking she did inside. She was surprised by how much Dai Zhiqiang knew about her situation, but it was very convenient because that way, she wouldn't have to explain everything from scratch.
"Thanks for today," Li Caiyi said sincerely to Dai Zhiqiang before she added gloomily, "And about Uncle, I'm sorry for lashing out at you earlier. Thinking back, if it's sothing you can help with, then you would definitely do so. I was too sad and couldn't think straight then."
"No, you have every right to be angry. I know you treat my father very well as if he is your own father. But I'm disappointed in you."
Li Caiyi was indeed disappointed. Even now, she felt like sothing was blocking her throat if she thought about how she couldn't et Dai Bolin for the last ti. But she had to let it go, or that kind man wouldn't be able to rest peacefully.
"...Will you be alright, Dai Zhiqiang?"
"What do you an?"
"You ca back because you wanted to bury your father's ashes in his holand, right? And you seed to be pretty emotional back then. I'm worried about you."
Dai Zhiqiang smiled before taking a step forward toward her. Li Caiyi was wondering what he was up to when he suddenly leaned his head on her shoulder.
He was much taller than her, so he had to hunch his back to rest his head on her like that, making him look smaller and more fragile than ever.
"I'm still not okay, to be honest. Six years ago, when I heard that my father wouldn't hold on much longer, I had no choice but to make a swift decision. I know a good surgeon that can help my father, but the after-treatnt would require him to stay there for a long ti."
"That's why you took your family and moved abroad?" Li Caiyi asked softly.
Dai Zhiqiang nodded, causing his hair to brush against her jaw, making her feel ticklish. "But I feel like I won't be able to leave you if I don't end it decisively. It was hard for to see you break down like that."
Li Caiyi recalled how devastated she was then, and her nose felt sour. "Why didn't you just be honest with ? I would have understood if it was for your father's sake."
"We don't know how long the treatnt will continue. As much as I wanted to beg you to wait for , I feel too ashad to face you. You have been so patient with . I feel like I have taken advantage of you nurous tis."
"But, that's—"
"Ssshh," Dai Zhiqiang suddenly pinched her waist lightly. The intimate touch sent a shiver down her spine.
"Let finish first. That's not the only reason. Before, I selfishly thought that as long as you weren't fed up with , I could turn into the most shaless person in the world and keep you by my side. I beca more possessive and paranoid, hurting the trust between us. While you always had this anxious look whenever we fought. Then you would give in to after so ti like you were tolerating ."
Li Caiyi silently listened to his long rant. This was all the accumulated thought he had all this ti.
"I'm sure you also notice it. Sothing went wrong between us along the way. We were dating, but it didn't feel like that as ti passed. I always make you cry, even though I want to be the one who puts a smile on your face. My inability to do so hits hard. I suddenly woke up one day and thought I should give you a chance."
"A chance?" Li Caiyi echoed in confusion.
"A chance to run away from a ssed up person like . If I finish our relationship decisively and make you hate , it will restart everything. Or so I hope."
Li Caiyi didn't know what to say. His train of thought was too deep for her to comprehend. After listening to his explanation, everything did sound reasonable.
But what about her? Dai Zhiqiang claid it was all for 'her sake', but all she got was nothing but painful heartbreak. He did whatever he wanted, but she had been suffering for the last six years.
"How selfish of you," Li Caiyi reprimanded him in a quivering voice. A mixture of anger, sadness, injustice, and pain swirled inside her like a storm.
Dai Zhiqiang bit his lips before continuing, "I know. But even if the ti rewound again, I will probably do the sa."
"What will you do if I et soone new in the span of those six years? Soone is better than capable of making happy than you are?" Li Caiyi asked bitterly.
"I honestly don't know. At first, I thought I would accept it as my punishnt for hurting you. No matter how painful it will be, I'm ready to bear it. Even during that party, I never intended to show myself up before you."
"But you did. In a quite flashy way at that."
Dai Zhiqiang chuckled mirthlessly. "Yeah. When I saw that guy trying to lay his hand on you, I got furious and couldn't control myself. I didn't expect you would notice and even chase after persistently after that."
"I didn't know it was you. Perhaps I had a hunch, but I wasn't completely sure."
Dai Zhiqiang slowly raised his head so he stood face to face with her. He raised his hand to caress her cold cheeks.
"Then I saw you hurt your leg. It was already too late for to stop myself then. I can't stop caring about you."
Li Caiyi hated how he could easily make her heart race. Even though he was clearly the one in the wrong here.
"I hate you, Dai Zhiqiang. I really, really hate you for making hate myself."
Li Caiyi felt like she would cry if she continued talking, so she bit her lips. To her surprise, Dai Zhiqiang gently stopped her by tracing her lips with his thumb. His fingers felt cold on her lips, but the contrast in temperature made them crave each other's touch even more.
"En. You can hate as much as you want but don't bite your lips like that. You'll hurt yourself. Bite my finger instead; that way, you can vent your anger."
Li Caiyi felt challenged when she heard that. Did he think she wouldn't dare to do it?
If he wanted her to vent, she would gladly take on his offer.
Opening her mouth, Li Caiyi fiercely bit on his thumb.
Dai Zhiqiang: "!!!"
Although this pain couldn't be compared to what she went through, she wanted to at least inflict so pain on him, too, letting him know how aggrieved she was.
anwhile, Dai Zhiqiang grimaced in pain but endured it. Even when the blood trickled from the bite mark she made, he didn't complain or utter any sound.
She was the only one he allowed to hurt him like this. It was better like this than seeing her hurt herself.
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