There was the issue of image, of course. It would send the wrong ssage if I walked around, offering food, and given my status and situation such gifts would likely be rejected.
Instead, I sat the bucket down with a weighty thump, plopped down with Jorra and Bellarex and began to eat, effectively having a picnic in a throng of hungry faces. The bread and roe were left out in the open where anyone could reach them. Stomachs rumbled and eyes wandered. Perhaps it was pride, but it took longer than I expected for them to break.
A small infernal with an overly boyish face was the first. He grunted, pushing himself to his feet. He walked over to us, reaching in his pocket to pull out a clinking bag.
Whats your na? I interjected suddenly, throwing him off balance.
Oh, uh, Thythor, your grace.
Greetings, Thythor, I said. No need for titles. Were a long way from Whitefall. Would you be willing to do a favor?
What sort of favor? His voice wobbled. It was clear he was hungry, but nervous speaking in front of a large, nearly silent audience.
My friend and I made a bit of a miscalculation, I said. Jorra hid a smile. Were both victims of rcantile cunning of the most devilish sort. The baker was in dire straits. Practically foisted this burdenso collection of bread onto him. And I realized, in my haste, I had forgotten a critical component. A bucket.
There was a single snort near the back of the group.
I continued. The fishmonger, divining my situation, took brutal advantage of , refusing to sell what I needed unless I allowed him to fill it with roe and pay the difference.
Thythor seed to understand that the joke I was making was not at his expense. That sounds like a problem.
Indeed.
A few snickers sounded out. At the edge of my vision, Bellarexs shoulders were shaking in barely withheld laughter.
Thythor helped himself to a piece of bread larger than his hand and tore it open, stooping down to fill it with the glistening orange eggs from the bucket.
Ah. A solution presents itself, I said. And then the levy broke. One by one, the once silent infernals approached, helping themselves to breakfast and alleviating my burden. Thythors group was first. He introduced the large boy with overdeveloped horns as Aranxus, and an infernal with a girlish braid as Spira. I talked to them briefly before they were replaced by the next group.
Mistish and Yora ca next, a pair of sisters who introduced themselves to be earth magicians, likely from a wealthy family based on the quality of their gear and the lofty way they held themselves.
The next group was all male, all violet; Dharvir, Mavrus, and Briseis. Dharvir had a smug smile on his face, as if he wanted to know he had seen through my little charade and appreciated it. Mavrus and Briseis just looked happy to eat.
A half-dozen others followed, and I learned their nas and a little about their backgrounds.
The quiet, nervous tension of the group had broken. They mingled. Occasional sharp outbursts of laughter were followed by equally amused shushes and glances towards nearby houses with darkened windows.
Before we knew it, the sun had risen.
The departing group was much larger than the one Maya had left with. Mayas group was one of the many smaller departures that took place after the primary expeditions, while the timing of mine had coincided with the primary expedition itself. A noisy thrall of parents and loved ones giving last-minute advice to their children gave the scene a manic buzz.
Bellarex and I stood alone nearest the platform, watching the affairs quietly.
Jorra embraced Nethtari and Kilvius simultaneously. He smiled and said sothing I couldnt make out, then when Maya had left, then ruffled the hair on Agarins head, hair once wispy and sparse that had grown thick in my absence. There was a strange ache that ca from the sight. It was the first ti Id seen them all together since Id quietly packed my things and moved into Ralakoss estate. Like seeing an artists rendition of a mont that had ant one thing when it was captured, and now ant sothing else entirely.
Jorras lucky, Bell said. I barely heard her over the noise of the crowd.
Yes. He is. I answered.
There was a sharp whistle that dampened the noise. The guard operating the lift lowered two fingers from his mouth and gestured towards it in the universal sign to get a move on. Bellarex grabbed her single suitcase and headed towards the lift, ready and eager.
I was about to follow, but I saw Kilvius making his way towards .
Shit.
I braced myself. It had been too much to hope that Id avoid this conversation entirely. He smiled and held out his arm and I clasped it.
The ti has passed too quickly. Kilvius said. Do you feel ready?
As ready as I can be. I paused. My first instinct was to explain, to apologize. He had been the driving force of trying to bring back into the fold, and I had practically ignored him for his efforts.
Rember everything youve learned. Everything youve practiced. He looked around us. Youre further along than most. Be smart. Be safe.
I will, I said.
Little help? Jorra said. His oversized bag was tilted the wrong way and hemorrhaging contents that fell onto the ground, so of it stepped on by forest of feet and legs.
Kilvius shot an apologetic look and went to help his son. Nethtari stood behind him, and our eyes t. There was an uncomfortable instant where I thought she might turn away, but instead she cocked her head slightly, summoning .
I approached, anxious. She did not et my gaze, rather stared off towards her family as son and father navigated their hefty luggage in the direction of the lift.
You look well. Like youve been sleeping better. All said without looking at directly.
Theres certainly more of it. Sleep. Dont know if Id quantify it as better. Just higher volu, more consistency. I said, hating myself for rambling. What was I supposed to say?
Yes. Sleep has lost much of its charm as of late. Nethtari said. I noted for the first ti the dark bags around her eyes.
Work been keeping you busy? I tried.
Her head tilted slightly so she could look at . Yes. Shall we talk about the weather next?
Ouch. I held my tongue.
Nethtari placed a hand to her forehead. That was uncalled-for. Ive been preoccupied lately.
If I started, then stopped. It was the one conversation wed never had the chance to have. The crowd was thinning. I lowered my voice. If you want away from Jorra, Ill honor your wishes. Itll be easy enough to find soone to replace once were down there.
And you? Nethtari raised an eyebrow. Will it be easy for you replace them?
I didnt have to answer. It would not be hard to find others. The demon-fire made an exotic acquisition, the fact that I hit well above my weight was just a bonus. I could find others. But it would not be the sa.
Nethtari interrupted before I could voice any of that. Im his mother. I know exactly how much ti youve spent working with them. That the reason he acquired such excellent control was either because of you, or your close affiliation with Ralakos.
I just pointed him in the right direction. I admitted.
The guard whistled, this ti directly at , the unamused look on his face communicating that he would not be waiting long, giving an excellent excuse to slip away and lick my wounds. Before I could, Nethtari caught by the arm. She was looking at the ground now, her gaze once again averted from mine.
Theres a reason that people are naturally selfish. If you continue to sacrifice yourself, to take actions that directly put you in harms way for the sake of others... what will you do when there is nothing left to give? Nethtari asked. I could hear in it in her voice. The struggle.
There was nothing I could say.
I left her and took my place on the lift. The railing snapped into place and gears shifted, the massive wires lowering us down into the dark.
----
There was a silent journey through the caves that reminded of the Twilight Chambers, following lanterns mounted on walls that burned with a dull green light. My ears popped several tis, despite the absence of any real change of elevation. My skin itched. I wasnt the only one. I saw several of the accompanying infernals rubbing their arms, one bending down to massage her calf as if to awaken it from sleep.
It took a while to recognize the sensation as an amplified version of what I felt when I was ditating to recoup mana. Only instead of having to focus to gather it, it flowed like the white rapids of a river, dashing against , drowning . My head began to pound.
One of our escorts called a halt. He retreated a few yards back into the passage to vomit and returned looking pale. It seed to affect the adults and conservatorsstudents of the sanctum who had reached their final two yearsthe most.
I placed my hand against the wall and doubled over slightly, gritting my teeth. Jorra took a half-step towards and stopped to pant with his hands on his knees. Bellarex looked fine, almost confused, like she couldnt understand what the problem was.
Soone placed a hand on my chest and another on the small of my back, forcing to stand upright. I recognized the face. Irtek, the conservator who had t us at the mouth of the tunnel. He had the stuffy look of an accountant.
Stand up. His voice was quiet and sympathetic, almost feminine. You want to make sure your channels are open and unobstructed as they expand. Wouldnt want to get stuck like that.
I had no idea whether that was a joke. But I followed his instructions, unable to speak, unable to fully catch my breath.
In through your nose, out through your mouth. He demonstrated with practiced flair.
Why is she okay? Jorra pointed at Bellarex. He had straightened himself up, though he was still cowed at the neck. Irtek moved on from to him, correcting his posture.
Why is she okay? Irtek cocked his head and walked over to Bellarex. Hey, you! When Bellarex didnt imdiately respond he poked her once in the side. She shied away from him, eyes wide. Youre not one of those, are you? The ones that seem fine but randomly pass out and slip into a chasm?
Again, I hoped he was joking.
Voidling. One of our fellow travelers huffed out in disdain.
Ah, Irtek said. Then you will do well now and have problems later. Well talk when we arrive at the heart. There are things you should know to expect.
Wait what? Bell said. Why didnt anyone tell this before? What affects void differently in the sanctum? What problems? She sounded fascinated, rather than concerned.
Later. Irtek jutted a finger at her in warning.
Bell took a tentative step away from him and behind Jorra, as if to ward off any future prodding. Irtek moved on to the others, doing for them what he had done for .
I dont like him, Bell whispered loudly enough that she was undoubtedly heard.
The guards left us soon after, having gone as far as they could travel safely. We erged as if coming out of the mouth of a cave. My first thought was that we had. That wed taken a wrong turn sowhere and sohow ended up on the surface. White clouds covered the sky above and endless rolling grassland extended out before us.
But the landscape wasnt quite right. There were few trees, the ones that existed were gnarled and barren, growing out at strange angles, traveling up for a few feet before jutting sideways or even looping back down.
I crouched and plucked a blade of grass. The hue wasnt green; it was closer to blue, the slight breeze and hilly terrain giving the appearance of a frozen, shimring sea.
Wow, Bell said, voice tinged with awe. She was looking up at the clouds, thousands of feet above. A patch had opened, revealing a canopy of rock that was quickly covered by what I slowly ca to understand as not clouds, but a thick fog. The fog seed to stretch downward towards the horizon, shrouding the view miles away from sight.
Wheres the light coming from? Jorra said, scanning the do.
I chuckled. The sanctum had been shrouded in secrecy since Id arrived. Yet Casikas had chattered on constantly about the uniqueness of the vegetation, used adjectives like beautiful and exquisite, and I had puzzled over it, wondering how a cave could even approach that description. It was sothing that had to be seen. And now, having seen it, the na felt all too fitting. It was a sacred place.
There was a pop and a hiss. I spun around, following the turning heads. I didnt spot it at first, still disoriented from the change in scenery. When I finally saw it, my heart sank. The entrance within the mountain of rock we erged from was covered with a thin orange film that pulsed malevolently.
Irtek pushed his way through the group and hurried over to it. But before he even approached, before he turned to us, face grim, and told us to hurry on our way, I knew the truth. The way was barred.
And the blessed silence of the sanctum was shattered as my ears began to ring.
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