The process of trial and error was tedious. The sun had just passed its zenith when we started, and now slowly climbed back down, halfway to setting. In this ti we discovered much: anything to do with "ti travel" or living through so version of the future triggered a wipe, as did ntion of dying. But, as Maya had suspected, the so-called curse did indeed have limits. After a number of repetitions, I could finally communicate the gist of it.
Mayas eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "So. There are visions. But there are two different versions of them. One is farther off, and less accurate. Sort of an overarching view. In this vision, you saw the invasion and the demise of your family. The others are more short-term and give you an idea of what is about to happen. Like with the children in the cellar. Is that about right?"
I felt light, like the world was no longer crushing . "Pretty much, yes." So part of was incredibly relieved, realizing since this version of the story was "allowed," that the letter I sent the king would still accomplish its purpose. It was lucky that I assud he wouldnt believe had I told the truth.
"Whats the tifra of these short-term visions?"
"Its hard to say." I thought about it. "When I first t you, Id say about ten days? But that was the first experience with the smaller visions. Its also not a guarantee. I dont always know when danger is coming. Theres a triggering event that has to happen first."
Her eyebrows lowered even further, then she groaned, laying back in the grass and staring up at the sky. It reminded of so of the first ti we spent together, lounging in the clearing around the cottage, recovering from the days work.
"Sorry," I said, "I know thats not really detailed."
"Its not you." Maya reached a violet hand towards the sky, closing her fist as if to grab a cloud. "I am just wishing harm upon whatever god afflicted you. Is there a human god of vagueness?"
I chuckled. "No. Closest would be Nemosis, goddess of mysteries."
Still, I found myself deep in thought. Ever since the Caravan, there hadnt been much ti to stop and really consider the larger implications of what had happened before. As far as I was concerned, there were two possibilities for what was happening to . Neither was great.
The first was that sohow, Thoth did this to . I rembered the way she had cut her hand open and cast sothing on the knife she used to kill . But that seed ridiculous, bordering on absurd. An incredibly powerful leader? Yes. But it made no sense that soone would expend so much effort only to restart everything. After all, she had already won. It wasnt even close.
The second possibility struck as more likely. I rembered taking off my crown and casting it into the fire. How quickly it was consud. I wish to live, freely and forever. I shuddered at that. It would explain why a god was angry with , but on this, Maya wasnt entirely correct.
"Its frustrating but I am grateful for it." I laid down next to her and stared into the endless blue.
"Why?" Maya rolled on her side to look at .
"Because it gives a chance to change things for the better. And not just for Uskar itself, though thats a big part of it. In the vision. I didnt like who I beca. The person I was."
"Were you like your father?" Maya asked hesitantly.
"No, not that. Never that." I ran my fingers through my hair. "But I was bitter and spiteful. Sothing precious was taken from . Sothing irreplaceable. And I just let the loss consu until it was impossible to think about anything else."
After a mont. "A woman?"
"Her na was Lillian, and she was the first to die. She was really sothing." I smiled. "In the vision, I an."
"But, that long-term vision is not set in stone?"
My smile faded a bit at that. "True. It could play out entirely differently, but I hope it wont. Her role in it, anyway. Other than the ending."
"Well, I am convinced." Maya sat up, her face set. "If anyone but you had told this, it would be totally unbelievable. But Ive seen it first hand."
I followed her as she stood. "So?" I asked.
"So, we are back on track. I will travel with you and the others to the Magus Enclave. Once there, I will introduce you to the infernals. I cannot promise anything more."
"Thank you!" I nearly hugged her then, barely stopping myself in ti. Instead, I stuck out my hand. She stared at it for a mont and then shook it. Her skin was soft but her grip was strong.
Maya hesitated. "Fair warning, while they are fairly pragmatic, they may still decide to execute you. There is much emotion when the na Valen is involved."
"Eh."
"You will be in constant danger from those who wish you ill. There are radical factions that would like nothing more than to add you as a symbolic notch in their belts."
"What else is new?"
"And on the off chance they actually let you into the school itselfwhich is going to be unlike any sort of institution you might be picturingit will be a lonely venture, and many will go out of their way to sabotage and harm you. You will not have many allies."
"What does it matter?" I bumped her shoulder lightly as I walked past her. "I have you."
Mayas face reddened at that, and she scowled down at the grass and grumbled as we began to make our way back towards town.
"Cairn?"
"Yes?"
"How close did we get? To the truth?" Mayas ponytail bobbed up and down as we walked, our feet crunching on fallen leaves. "I know you cannot be specific, but I would like to have so idea."
I considered the question.
"Close enough."
We arrived back at the Dukes mansion as the red-orange sun touched the horizon, just in ti for the feast. The sll of steak and roast vegetables and a half-dozen other miraculous creations floated through the air. The Duke had apparently either made an announcent or sent n to speak to everyone individually because Maya was allowed to take off her mask and bandages. No one scread. As the guests of honor, we were treated to many gifts and thank yous, along with a constant line of handshakes. Well, I was. No one went out of their way to shake Mayas hand, but they tried to look her in the eye and speak kindly. It wasnt perfect, but it was a start.
There was wine, but I ended up drinking lots of water instead. One of the most upsetting things about being young again was that my alcohol tolerance, once magnificent and beautifully maintained, was now entirely gone. The quarter of a wineskin from earlier had nearly blasted out of my skull. It took hours for it to fade even sowhat, leaving with a dull throb in the back of my head.
Tamara sidled up next to , holding an oversized goblet filled with wine. Earlier in the afternoon I might have been jealous. Now, even the sight itself was enough to make nauseous.
"So" She said.
"So?" I answered grumpily.
"Whered you go after our chat earlier?" She ran her finger over the rim of the wine goblet. "I thought about coming to look for you, but Cephur said to leave you be."
I was grateful for that. Cephur might not have understood my words, but the man was a master at picking up on subtext. If they had co looking for , in the state of mind I was in, theres no telling what sort of nonsense I might have said.
"Went into the woods to clear my head. There was a lot on my mind." I shrugged.
"But you and Maya ca back together."
"Yes, she was with ."
"I see." There was a long silence. Her green eyes peered at playfully.
"What?" I finally said.
"Nothing. The optics are interesting, thats all."
"What optics?" I took a sip of my water.
Tamara chose her words carefully. "You snuck off to the woods with an infernal. The sa one you moved heaven and earth to ensure we escort across Uskar. For the whole afternoon. Then both of you ca back together."
"So?"
"And I just finished picking the grass out of her hair."
I spat my water out, coughing, her implication suddenly made clear. Tamara waited patiently for to recover.
"Im twelve!" I glared at her irritably. Actually, now that I thought about it, as of today, I was thirteen, but that didnt seem relevant. Not to ntion, theres nothing more insufferable than telling a group of strangers that today is your birthday, so they can awkwardly congratulate you out of duty.
Tamara laughed heartily, "The fact that you even realize what Im saying is an admission of guilt."
"Shes an infernal!"
"Shes a young lady," Tamara corrected, "one who was just saved by a dashing prince."
"Youre really barking up the wrong tree here."
"Its a little early, sure, but theres no sha in exploring-"
"Please stop."
"We have a long trip ahead of us yet. Im just saying, if you have any questions, its one of my many areas of expertise-"
I put a hand to my forehead. "Yes, yes, you will be the first person I co to. Gods damn it."
Tamara sauntered away, eyeing smugly. Elphions beard, that made uncomfortable. Not to ntion, she was completely wrong. Maya was wonderful, yes. An observant, clever, compassionate, wonderful person. My gaze scanned the room until I found her. She was sitting next to Lucius, intermittently laughing and spooning soup out of a bowl.
It was funny how easily Id grown accustod to her more alien features, after daily exposure in relative isolation. Her violet skin no longer seed strange to . The spiral, segnted horns atop her head, frad with long dark hair, were just another feature in my mind, like her ears or duchess nose. And her white eyes, though lacking any pupil or iris, were as deep and expressive as anyones, perhaps more so.
No. Tamara was completely wrong. And Lillian was waiting for in Whitefall.
But can you afford to marry for love, this ti?
It hit like a punch to the stomach. I pulled out a chair and sat down, feeling completely at a loss. Soone patted on the shoulder and greeted with a handshake, their face and words entering and slipping from my mind almost imdiately.
I couldnt, could I? The path forward with the infernals was clear enough. I was essentially following in Thoths hypothetical footsteps, leveraging their support from reopening the gate. The Dantalion fla would be key, and it would be as much in their interest to teach as it was in mine. But everyone after? The light elves, dark elves, dwarves, pixies. It was a lot. I would have only a fraction of the ti. It would be impossible to get them all.
And a very straightforward way of aligning two peoples and resolving bad blood was through marriage. An old, familiar bitterness clawed at my heart. I pushed it down brutally. No. I would find a way. Id start planning early, and learn as much about the other races as I could during my ti with the infernals. That was who I was, wasnt it? A planner?
I sat down with Lucius and Maya, toasting them with my goblet, allowing the fear and anxiety to slip away. It was ti to revel in our victory. We had earned this, at the very least.
Still, I couldnt fight the feeling, sowhere in the back of my mind, that Lillian was already slipping away from .
Later that night, I returned to my room. The Dukes strange deanor was at the forefront of my mind. I did not feel safe. I suspected I never would again. Looking at my plush bed and silken sheets longingly for a mont, I instead turned to my rucksack and reached inside. I pulled out the tobacco pipe I had purchased from the market as well as my vurseng. It supposedly left your system faster if it was smoked, rather than eaten. It was ti to put that theory to the test. I doused the lamp, pulled up my chair to the window, and sat, watching and listening for anything out of the ordinary. This was going to be a long night.
It was a little after three in the morning that I saw a massive, shadowy figure leave out the front door.
I stood, sliding open my window and throwing my cloak over my shoulders. The Duke was on the move.
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