I have never felt so relieved before.
I, Trisha Jane, have always been different. I'm aware of it and that bothers .
As a child, there had been a lot of things I don't understand. That, I don't think I'm different from the others. At first, I thought it was a curse. It is too agonizing for a child.
Those things... the things that the Ancient Prophet calls Spirits are the sa as real-life ghosts to . However, they've never done anything to .. They would show themselves, I would get scared but I would talk to them.
That's just who I am. I look at fear straight to the eyes.
I shiver, my chest becos heavier, my feet felt numb, and sweat covers my body, yet, I step forward.
Nobody is as strong as I am. But my body is not the sa. These Spirits would eventually gather up within . They say that it was impossible but here I am. Tens upon tens of Spirits living inside , making stronger.
However, with every move I make, I would destroy everything. My body can't handle them...
If not for my precious family, I wouldn't be able to handle myself. There are many 'volunteers' back then. They say the Spirits I gather are special. They move to another person as I tell them to. Apparently, I have 'tad' them.
The 'volunteers' would receive my Spirits and they would go far away. I never saw them the second ti. But I think they're doing fine, they got stronger because of after all.
The most Spirits I could handle is about five. That's how strong I was. I realized that when I learned that there could only be one Spirit for one person. If lucky, two. But I'm still a child and I got five!
I'm special. I laughed fear.
But... I can't laugh at guilt.
Becuase of ... two people died. Dead, they were killed by that fucking murderer! I will avenge them! I will beat that guy with the fucking hat!
Yet, I'm hesitating. I'm not scared but I'm not dumb. I know... I know I can't defeat him.
Since last sumr, there are no longer Spirits that were attaching to . I thought the nightmare, which is my family's fortune, is over. I never get used to them. I only got more courageous.
How can I get stronger? He's in prison now but is that enough?
Soone died because of him, he killed them. So rcilessly... no, not just guilt.
I trembled, I can feel my breath cold, my eyes were becoming hazy, and the image of his eyes were carved into my head.
I'm scared...
It was nostalgic at the sa ti.
The Spirits were scary but they never had the chance to kill . But that man, just a little more. What if I'm the one who he targeted? Yesterday, what if he chased after ? I'm the strongest... if I can't stop him, who can? Who can stop him from chasing and killing ? No one!
Regret
If only I wasn't too full of myself. If only I didn't order Chihua to organize that stupid event!
People died, why did they die?! Stupid!
Stupid !
ARGHH!!
How many hours has it been? I kept telling myself I should better just die. At the sa ti, when the sky turned dark, nightmares would fill my mind.
I rember this, the Spirits are taking advantage of my ntality. They want to take over my body. The nightmares...
I see him again and again.
This ti, he was chasing .
His eyes were only set on , no one else. What a monster, I'm going to die.
I'm going to die!
Die...
Die?
But I don't want to...
...
Fuck!
I don't want to die!
Stop fucking chasing !
How dare you! How dare you!
How dare you grab my neck!? How dare you attempt to squeeze them!?
... I'm never going to die.
I'm special.
I'm strong.
I'm courageous.
Haa...
I can feel it.
The Spirits are coming back to .
The nightmare had stopped. The sun rose. But the battle is still not over.
I still shiver, I still feel cold, and I still felt death over .
But I'm still alive.
It's the best!
Co in ! Spirits! Co back to my body!
I'm going to avenge those two. How dare he murder people in front of !?
I'm the fucking BOSS!
I will tell him what to do and what not to do! And he will do it!
He will pay for it, he will save lives under my commands. With two people dead at his hands, he will have to save two people every single day, fourteen per week, sixty a month - simple math, just double the days - until he himself becos weak. Until then, I won't forgive him.
Ha...
I feel they're coming into . Opportunistic bastards.
I understand it.
It's not that my body can't handle them.
It's just that my body rejects them.
I thought I'm strong but I was still just a child. My mind was still instinctively rejecting them. I don't need to be just courageous, I need to overco them.
This was an opportunity for to get stronger and I overca it.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... hehehe, so true.
With this, even if he have a gun pointed at my face, I will take it head-on, literally, and it won't scratch !
It was already afternoon? I hope it's still Thursday.
"Trisha, an Assistant Inspector wants to ask you so questions. Even if you don't co out, you just have to answer, okay, sweetie?"
I heard from the other side of my door.
I stood up and my feet no longer felt cold. The mirror showed how much of a ss I am. It was quite embarrassing. But I just have to wipe it off. I didn't have ti to put on my favorite eyeliner but I don't think I need it since I'm just going to see an Assistant Inspector, my mom says.
So there was no longer fear within . I fought it off.
See?
I told you I'm special.
"Hm? An Assistant Inspector? What do you want from ?"
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