"Are you alright, Sharon?" Ruby asked, her voice laced with genuine worry as she sat beside on the weathered park bench.
Right now, we were in so forgotten corner of the city; a green expanse dotted with ancient oaks and the distant hum of traffic—a place whose na escaped entirely.
But that didn’t surprise .
Why should it surprise ?
A aningless person, whose existence felt as undefined as a half-sketched shadow, shouldn’t rember such trivial details. She has no right.
"I’m fine," I said in a quiet voice, lacking the strength to et her eyes. My gaze fixed on the cracked pavent, where fallen leaves skittered like my scattered thoughts. "No need to be worried about ."
"Fine?!" Ruby exploded, her incredulous look sharpening as she leaned closer. "You’re anything but fine! Sharon, you destroyed your things back at your apartnt! And those tear marks on your face—they’re still fresh! You look like soone who hadn’t sleep for days! Tell the truth, Sharon. After you left my mansion, did you even lay on your bed?"
"I’m exhausted," I muttered, my words barely rising above the rustle of wind through the branches. "Exhaustion... just exhaustion. Nothing more."
"Don’t lie to , Sharon! You look like a train ran over you!" Her hand hovered near my arm, hesitant, as if afraid I’d shatter at the touch.
I snarled, the sound raw and feral from deep within. "Ruby, what right do you have to worry about ?! We’re just sex partners!" I finally glared at her, my eyes burning with a mix of rage and despair. "You like won, right? Thanks to , you have a dick now! So go fuck soone else! You can find soone else!"
Co on, go away... Leave alone...
The words echoed in my skull, a desperate mantra. The park around us blurred—the laughter of distant children, the scent of damp earth after rain, the chill seeping through my thin jacket. It all mocked my isolation, amplifying the void inside.
Ruby’s face crumpled, her usual fiery confidence cracking. "Sharon, I’m not here for sex. I like you—really like you. And yeah, I get it; you could find any other woman for that. But that’s not why I’m sitting here in this damn park at dusk. I am here for you... I like you."
I laughed, a self-deprecating bark that tasted like ash. "? You like ?" I turned toward her fully, my body rigid, fists clenched in my lap. "Tell , Ruby. What is there in that you could possibly like? I’ll tell you. There’s nothing! Absolutely nothing! Fucking nothing!"
The silence stretched, heavy as the gathering twilight. Ruby didn’t flinch. Instead, she reached out, her fingers brushing my sleeve with a gentleness that pierced deeper than any shout. "That’s where you’re wrong, Sharon. So dead wrong it hurts to hear." Her voice dropped, steady amid my storm. "You think you are soone with no aning? Invisible? Let paint you the picture... that you can’t see."
She paused, eyes locking onto mine, refusing to let look away. "First, your fire. That snarl you just threw at ? Most people crumble under half that pain, but you? You fight. Even when you’re breaking, you bare your teeth. It’s terrifying and beautiful."
Ruby caressed my cheek. "Second, the way you look at . What you said before was correct, I can find another woman—and the sa goes for you... but they are just puppets. But you are not a puppet."
I shook my head, tears pricking anew, but she pressed on. "Third, your mind—god, Sharon, the way you unravel mysteries like they’re puzzles made for you alone. I was in awe. Still am. The way you asked questions, connected all the dots. I was in awe. Still am."
"Stop," I whispered, but my voice cracked. The park bench creaked under us, a swan couple gliding across the nearby pond in mocking serenity. How could she see strength where I felt only fractures?
"No." Ruby’s grip tightened, warm against the evening chill. "And your laugh—the real one, rare as a lunar eclipse. It lights up rooms. And your touch... even casual, it grounds . After coming here, I never contacted anyone—just observed. But you? You saw . That’s not nothing, Sharon. That’s everything."
Self-loathing surged, hot and familiar. "You’re delusional. I’m a person who can’t even control her own life. I am just a pathetic person—who doesn’t even know her identity! A person who’s a mistake! A joke!"
Ruby smiled faintly, sadly. "I know what you are feeling, Sharon. The sa thing happened with after they destroyed my life. I understand your feelings." She leaned in, breath mingling with mine. "Tell what broke you today. Not the apartnt—the real shatter. Let in, or at least try."
The dam trembled. Flashes assaulted : orphanage, people who I had offended, my writing career, my hardships, transmigration—everything had happened to , shadows whispering my failures, the mirror reflecting hollow eyes bombarded my mind all at once.
Exhaustion wasn’t just physical; it was soul-deep, eroded by years of helplessness. "I-I don’t... know what I am," I admitted finally, voice hoarse."A human? A mistake? Alex? Sharon? I-I... d-don’t know... I want to... but h-how? All... I-I... am feeling now... is emptiness—hollow."
"You will find the answer, Sharon," Ruby countered fiercely. "You are not hollow. Wounded. And wounds heal when shared." Her hand cupped my cheek, thumb tracing a tear track.
"Then, what am I, Ruby?" I looked towards the sky. "I fear that soone’s still observing . Trying to control —erase . That I don’t have my own will! I am making decisions according to soone else—that’s I fear the most!"
Ruby shook her head, and rubbed my back in circles. "Are you scared?"
I nodded slowly. "Yes, I am."
" too," Ruby admitted. She pointed towards her heart. "My heart still trembles when I think of the monsters that work in The Bureau. So, you are not alone, Sharon. You never are... and never will."
I closed my eyes before pushing her away. Taking a deep breath, I stood up and turned my back towards her. I opened my eyes as I looked at the street further ahead. "Ruby, I want so ti alone. Next ti, I will contact you." Without waiting for her reply, I walked away.
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